Can I state in my will that I do not want my children to be adopted by a step parent in the event of my death?

Renee King

My husband's ex-wife did her will over a year ago. She lives in Kentucky. When talking with an attorney she wanted to keep all 4 children together. She has 3 with my husband (her ex) and 1 with her new husband. The lawyer asked her if my husband was a good dad, she said yes. My husband does not miss a visit and even add visits, he pays his child support, and does not harm his kids. The lawyer said that she may put in the will for the children to stay with their step-father but it would not hold up in court. He is not their legal father and the kids would come to live with my husband.

Long story short, she called we said yes we would take the kids, so she had to correct her will. The kids are older so she even sat them down to ask them and all 3 said they would want to come live with their dad and would do visit with their step-father.

Now to me, she did ask would I be able to adopt the children and her lawyer said yes. When she passes the soul guardian, parent of the child would be the one to make the decision. She can state her wishes, but it would be up to the parent left alive. Also he said that if it is her current husband and he remarries the court will look on the fact that she would not of know the new wife and therefore how can a decision be preset against the step-parent.

What I would recommend is talking to a lawyer and see what the mind-set is in your state.

Tiffany V

You could state it in your will. However that would not stop the step parent making an application, but if they did make an application a judge would have to take your wishes into account when making his or her decision along with all of the other factors.

So, if it's for a specific reason that you don't want that person to be a guardian then you should make them clear so that the judge would also know those reasons. You also need to make sure that you have appointed someone to act on your behalf if a step parent makes that application, and leave money in your will for legal fees for that situation arises.

C Wood

You need to look at why you feel a need to refuse to allow a step parent to adopt your child. The child's needs should be best, and you don't even know who the step parent would be. Why do you feel threatened by a non-existant, may never be step-parent!

Even if you can do it, it will leave a really BAD memory about you in the mind of your spouse and your children. It will be hurtful and cruel treatment of them.
cw

Evelyn quintanar essabilla emily

The best thing you can do is consult to your solicitor/attorney and he/she will give an advice on you and you can tell your solicitor that a step parent not be able to adopt your child.Good luck and all the best.

Morgaine

Are you asking this because you don't want your ex husband's new wife adopting your children when/if you are dead?

I think you can make your wishes known, but the judge does not have to listen to what you want (though he/she should take your wishes into account) especially if your children have a relationship with this stepparent. However, your ex-husband, as the father of the children, has every right to custody of the children so the stepmother would have to have contact and some sort of legal relationship to the children.

I hope I am making sense.

Daisey Duck

You can state what ever you want in your will. I would have to question your motives on this however. Are you doing this for the benefit of the child or for your own comfort? If (heaven forbid) something were to happen to you wouldn't you want the best for your child in the future? By doing this you are limiting the future of the child as far as a family unit. I know a couple that the step mom adopted the child after the natural mother died. In fact this is what the child wanted. The child still remembers and is always told what a good loving mom she was. But now feels that even though mom is gone she still has a mom and dad that love her and will always be there for her.

momof3boys

The courts first look at the parents request before determining what is best for the child. Depending on the childs age at the time they will be asked what they would like. Usually the stepparent won't get any rights to the children unless you state otherwise. It is usually more likely to be the biological parent or the grandparents or someone else in the family.

CEE W

Anyone can say anything they wish in their will and then again, anyone else can contest what is said. So, you can let it be known that you would NOT want your children adopted by their stepparent.

The logical question would be "Why?"
And there must be a reason that you have this concern in the first place. If the stepparent is inappropriate and mistreating your children, THAT should get addressed in the here and now, not in the herafter, right?

Parents who were never married, or who are divorced often have concerns about who would finish the work of raising the children. Unless there is compelling evidence that the other parent is not up to the job, if the other parent wants to raise the children, they generally will be awarded physical custody.
Unless the children weighed in favorably, I don't think an adoption by the stepparent would follow.

If they are with you and you have sole custody they will first go to the other parent. If they are not with you and you have visiatation no it won't hold up. They will look at the best intrest of the child which most courts feel is stability and a family.

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As long as the step parent is NOT a legal guardian, and the legal guardian isn't alive, you can state who ever you want to be in the will.

Terry F

why would you care about this use your time more wisely why assume something like this would happen you know all step parents are not bad people if they love your children then so be it I know one family 2 fathers 3 kids and a new husband Sojust grow up

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