Can Private Adoption Ever Be Ethical Adoption?

Laurel J

I suppose some private adoptions are handled ethically, but the system discourages this. I don't like that money ever changes hands at the same time a human life does. I don't like it at all.

Tobit

Answer: No more or less than public adoption.

Look at Lexas (the poster above). To her, adoption is a transaction.

If A=" I don't need kid," and
B= "someone else needs kid"
then A+B= C = hire a lawyer to transfer ownership

There is not a hint of human emotion in that post. This, in fact, is how many people approach the situation. Should we expect adoption agencies (either private and public) to think any differently than the people they serve?

mlassi65

No. The money is not regulated in private adoption and that leads to coercion and corruption.

Isabel A

Heather, I have no answers for you but after reading the article provided, I do have to say that you have given me something to think about.

Mary G

No private adoption in this country is very far from ethical. First off the mother has no representation of her own, most often if she does it is also the attorney for the pap's. The child has no representation either, and the child should have someone other than their mother who gives a da mn about their best interests. I lost my daughter due to coercive adoption practices and I can tell you that yes coercion is alive and well in the US.

Noodles you have some problems dear if you think we are anti-adoption nazis. Ever hear of the reform movement? Yes reform, gods do you even ever listen to yourselves? I have listened to plenty of paps and adoptive parents talking about having a baby as if the baby were a piece of meat to be bought or sold! It is sickening and it is wrong both morally and ethically. While applaud Ethicas stance on reform, I do not applaud all adoption as you pro-adoptive nazis seem to do. I am against unecessary seperation of mother and child, and for natural family preservation. Adoption should always be a last resort for any infant or child. Shame on your for speaking this way because so many don't believe the way you do! That attitude is much to prevelant on both sides of this arguement!

And yes I used the word nazi in a very deliberate way.. Why don't you stop and think before you speak.

Amy B

There are a rare few private adoption agencies that don't charge a fortune, contrary to what you may believe. My husband and I recently adopted a baby girl and there was definitely NOT coersion involved. Our daughter's birth mother chose us after viewing our profile and coresponding with us via our agency's website. At that point, she had not met with a caseworker or representative from the agency at all. During the corespondence with her prior to her informing us that we had been "Chosen", we told her that we only wanted her to go through with placing her child for adoption if she was 100% sure that it's what she wanted and to make sure that she took a lot of time to really think it over first. Members of her family really struggled with the idea of adoption, but let her make her own decision.

Why is it unethical for someone to choose on their own to terminate their parental rights to a child but adoption through the state system where the parents' rights are involuntarily terminated is just fine? I know it's because there is a proven history of abuse, neglect, drug use, etc. involved. Why is it such a bad idea for people to decide on their own to relinquish their rights instead of putting the child through Hell first and then having them taken away at an age where they are old enough to be HUGELY affected??

If a person is not ready to be a parent and they know it, then isn't it better for the child to be placed with parents that are ready, rather than ending up in a situation with a mother who wasn't ready and abused, neglected, resented them?

There are always two sides to every story and people on both extremes and everywhere in between. If you are against adoption, then fine -- don't adopt! Just because it's not right for one person doesn't mean it's not right for another. That's why we all have to make our own decisions.

ProudM

4 people in my family (including me) are a part of this family thanks to private adoptions. i don't consider them to be unethical or coercive.

noodlesmycat

Of course it can be but your group refuses to believe that.

heather, you "forgot" to tell the other 2 respondents that you (& texbast**d & your pack of nazis) automatically give them a thumbs down if they give answers you don't agree with. You also "forgot" to tell people not to read the comments on the only link you gave. BIG mistake. If one bothers to read the following comments of the story, your "question" backfires.

So let's level the playing field-

How many people agree that heather h, texbast**d, and the rest of their pathological lying cult (aka anti-adoption zealots) are unethical & coercive? Guess what my vote is?

Lexas

I think so... consider I am pregnant & can not support my child (sanity will not permit another one).... but, I have a dear friend that yearns for a child and has yet to concieve because of fertility issues. A lawyer can be hired to do the paperwork... legal fees be paid & a happy family made.

Other than that... I know someone who actually went through with one with an unwanted child to a sweet couple who REALLY wanted one. It happens everyday & there is nothing unethical about it. Evil people will find a way to corrupt everything beautiful.

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