Can all adoptees please answer?

If you had been adopted into a small family with no siblings and very few aunts and uncles and such then found out in your early 20s that your birthmother was from 10 other kids in her family most being older than her, would you be a little upset and sad by this. I mean even if birthmother doesn't want anythign to do with me I may have an aunt, uncles and probably lots of cousins that I may have been close with. I may even have an aunt or uncle not too much older than myself. If your wondering, I still don't know the family. I'm just asking how you would feel find out that info. Thanks
Additional Details
By the way, older brother stayed with one of her family members. She decided to put me up for adoption outside of family. Any thoughts adoptees?

Robin

Have you had a conversation with your birth mom yet? Do you know what was going on in her life at the time? It's hard to answer without really knowing.

But of course, your feelings about it are normal! I grew up without aunts, uncles & cousins (had a BFF with all that & couldn't wait to have it in our fam one day).

I was the middle child of my 1st mom. She had 2 older & 2 younger children. She didn't willing give me up, but was a poor working (separated) mom B4 welfare (per court records). I was taken from her b/c she owed $$ to my babysitter, who turned me over to authorities.

My feelings were all over the map when I first met an older 1/2 sister, then our mom & a younger 1/2 brother a week later. Who would I have been had I grown up with her? And so many other questions. It's hard to wade through all the "what ifs?" and "whys?".

Be patient with yourself as you move through this part of your journey. Do join a support group like the one Sunny suggested.

Hugs!

sunny

These are complex issues, and I understand how you feel.

I hope you'll come see us at:

www.adultadoptees.org/forum

Anha S

My afamily was very small, and when I got my non identifying, I found out I had a rather large family. 10 aunts and uncles on my dad's side, and an aunt and uncle from my mothers' side, and loads and loads of cousins. It was bittersweet for me in many ways, still is.

I second sunny, please join us at the link she provided :)

Mei-Ling

Ouch.

Come on over to adultadoptees - the link that Sunny gave you. We can help you work through this.

Flying Monkey #073177

I think you have every right to seek out your large extended family if that is what you want to do. We all have the right to our heritage and kin.

And please come over to the link Sunny provided, amazing place chock full of other adoptees going through similar situations!

Hey Baby, Shagadelic !

I am adopted. I was the only child in my adopted family. I tried to get the name of my birth parents and the State of Michigan refused. I still want to know.

If I were you and knew I had brothers and sisters, I would forget my anger and just be happy I knew I had brothers and sisters and try to contact them.

There comes a time when anger needs to be let go. Start fresh and enjoy your family. I wished I could.

Rowan

well i actually know a little of how you feel, in that i have cousins, and a half sister out there, i've never known, and may never meet.

i'm a little sad sometimes, and wish i knew her, but i don't dwell on it, to be honest. Theres no sense in dwelling on "could have beens" but there is always the future, and anything can happen.

As soon said, its conplex, and you need to approach this carefully. I wish luck, and i hope they want to meet you as much as you seem to want to met them.

Bay Raymond

Well my mom died and when I was six I had to be taken away from my mental father, i loved him though, but I was put in a family vearry large 12 children I was the only adopted one, I felt quite lonely, But it does feel weird going from having alot of attetion from people who really loved you going to poeple who just took you in for the pitty.

bananarama

it would only make scence to me that if one family member took your brother and not you then that family was not your best option, sorry to say it but wouldn't someone have spoke up and taken you instead of being adopted? Your AP love you and gave you the chance for a life, be close to them

gibberish

I do not blame you for feeling sad but you need to embrace the life you have now not the life you could have had. I'm sure your parents love you so very much

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