Can/should my other children contact my son that I relinquished over 17 years ago?

I have recently told my other children that they have an older brother. I know that I can't legally contact him until he reaches 18, but can my children? I found him on MySpace and Facebook, but have just over 8 months to go before I will contact him. My daughter has expressed interest in contacting him, but I've told her to wait. I just don't want her ruining my chance at a reunion. What would you do?
Additional Details
I'm not sure about the legal issue. The adoptive parents don't want me contacting him until he's 21. (My state requires that the release of any info not be released to either me or my son, until age 21.) But, since I have found him online and found his address, I will be contacting him once he reached age 18, since he's considered an adult and can make his own choices. My SW gave me the ok if I wanted to presue him. But, am unsure what legal steps the adoptive parents could take if my other children made contact. Anyone know?

kitta

Here is how the attorneys in my family explained it to me:

the issue is parental rights. When a child is adopted, the parental rights are transferred to the adoptive parents. The adoptive parents have the legal right to prevent contact from other people, until the child reaches adult age. After the child reaches adult age, it is up to the adult child to decide with whom he wishes to associate.

This applies to you and your children, also.

As for the law about information: that is only about release of information.

It sounds like you might be talking about California....? I surrendered my child in CA and reunited with him in 1989.

â™¥ ~Sigy the Arctic Kitty~â™¥

Yes, your other children could contact your son today because they independantly located him (or could have).

But they really should not.

I'm not adopted, but I'm your son's age and I really think that it would be a very bad idea for your other kids to contact him before you do. He probably knows he was adopted but even so getting a sudden hello from a 1/2 sibling would really be a shock and maybe upsetting. You are the mother and it's best if you try to get in touch with him first.

I suggest that you wait out the time until he turns 18 and then contact him. Just send him a note to tell him who you are and with your email addy and phone #, tell him you very much would like to see him but you don't want to put any pressure on him or anything and that you are available at any time.

The thing is, he will be 18 but he will still be a kid really and will probably really be running through a rush of emotions that you can only try to inagine. So you really want to walk softly, if you know what I mean.

Try to explain that to your other kids so they don't contact him before you do. He really should talk to you first and maybe meet you first before they do.

obtw...you want to wait a little after his birthday before contacting him, maybe a couple of weeks to a month. I'm sure you wouldn't do it right on his birthday, I'm just saying! Best wishes!

kidmindi

I'd say let your kids contact him. He is their brother. If he wants tocontact you before he is 18, your kids can give him your info.

Oh and as for what his adoptive parents want, once he is 18, what they want no longer matters. It is then legally up to HIM if he wants contact or not.

I don't think there is much his adoptive parents could do about his siblings contacting him. If YOU contact him before he is 18, they could at best get a retraining order. If HE contacts then I doubt they have a legal leg to stand on.

j0ker

if your children contacted him from hearsay that has nothing to do with you.....

Would there be any legal trouble if you contacted him before he turned 18? If so, then you all need to wait to contact him.

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