Can someone give me some information on Adoption ?

MamaKate

Dear Somzz,

I am glad to hear that you are considering parenting an older child! Many people overlook older children in favor of infants and toddlers.

I am just curious as to why you would choose to adopt from the US when there are so many children in your own country who are in need of a loving home? I am not trying to be facetious, I just wonder why people choose to adopt children from other countries when they have needy children in their home countries waiting for homes and will not have to remove them from their culture in order to parent them. (I do not agree with most international adoptions for this reason.) Especially for older children, adoption is already a big change, why add the cultural complications as well? Are you planning to move to the US to parent this child or take the child back to India with you?

If you are planning to take the child back to India with you, I hope that you will give a great deal of thought to what it would be like for the child, especially at that age to have to acclimate to not only a new family but also to a new language and culture as well. Adoption should be about the needs of the CHILD above all else - even if it is not ideal or convenient to adult(s). Older children are more likely to have adverse reactions to such drastic change.

You may have a hard time finding an agency that will have an older child other than US foster care or are willing to take a child with special needs, and many good SWs will have some concerns with an older child (who has already suffered loss/trauma and/or has special needs) having to also readjust to a new culture/language and you may have to do things a little differently than if it were an infant adoption (which are generally pretty unethical). The arrangement would also require some kind of cooperation between the child's state/US government and the Indian Government and your local social services in order to make sure that you meet the qualifications and that the child was having his or her interests met. It HAS been done so it isn't impossible, but I would guess that adopting a child in your native country would be easier and far less traumatic for the child.

If you are planning to live here and raise the child in his or her home country you might have a less complicated route to follow (not counting the whole moving here, getting settled, etc.) in that adoption from US foster care is relatively inexpensive but still requires classes, background checks, etc. - just as you would have going the international route.

Good luck to you. Please do not misunderstand me, I am not in any way attempting to discourage you from adopting an older child from wherever. I commend you for doing your research and for thinking about the children. I just think you should be aware of the difficulties and challenges you might face with this kind of adoption. I do hope that you find a child who needs you as much as you need them and that you are able to form a happy and healthy family!

Namaste.

Dehlilah

First of all good for you!! Adoption is a long process but is definstely worth the wait! First of all you apply to adopt. You list a few references. They will ask them questions that would relate the the way you would take care of a child. ( responsibility, patience, caring, are you a good friend or family member?) after all this is processed, they will send someone to do a home visit. They will make sure your house meets the safety requirements of raising a child. After they see the house, they will most likely talk to you. When that's all over, they will tell u how many children you can adopt and the age ranges of of the children you can adopt (ex. 3 kids between the ages of 3-12) after a long wait, you will fly to the USA to sign some final papers and take your child/children home with you :)
Congratulations and hope I helped :)

wallflowerchild87

www.adoptionstogether.com should help. Good luck!

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