Can someone please help me?

O.K. here is the story. My husband and I adopted our son when he was 5 years old. We've had him since he was 6 months. He can slightly remember his birth mother but he basically only remembers what he has been told. Well for the past 3 or 4 years he has been having very violent out burst. They could be because we ask him to do something or because we didn't let him do something he wanted. Well today his father ask him where the remote was. And I am sure my husband probably yelled at him for loosing it. Anyway my son stood up in my husbands face, yelled at him and pushed him twice. My husband told him to go to his room and stay there. Well my son wouldn't and he just kept yelling at him so my husband grabbed his arm and led him to his room. My son started fighting him and he hit my husband in the face. Well I will say first off my husband DID NOT hit my son or anything. He did hold him down to restrain him. My question is I don't know what to do about this.. I have other children that see this and I don't want this going on around them. Has anyone else ever went through this or does anyone have any suggestion one what I can do.
Additional Details
I also want to ad I have checked into counseling for him and we have NEVER said anything bad about is birth mother to him or around him.

Mom to Foster Children

He sounds just like my son - he was almost 7 when we adopted him and he was in foster care for almost 5 years of that. He can shred a pair of blue jeans with his bare hands - and I mean shred them to pieces. Find a therapist - a good one. Our son (not saying this is your son) was diagnosed with some behavior issues and although their is no medication that we give him they have subsided some but they are not gone - he is going to see a phycologist this month for some further testing. We are going to have him tested for a few things - but on the top of his therapist list is FAS or FAE. Talk to him - tell him that his behavior is NOT acceptable - but reassure him that he is not going anywhere no matter how bad he behaves.

Randy B

Get a referral to a child psychologist, someone who can diagnose what the problem may be and then take the necessary course of action after that.

mom to be

I would seek the help of a behavioral therapist. I am not sure if the issues are caused by the adoption or not. Children his age need consistency. The therapist can help him work through his anger.

Emily N

ok he sounds a little bit like my brother. my brother was the same way as your son, the only difference was my dad wud have kicked his *** if he hit my dad. but, honestly it could be a jealousy thing, rebellion or it could be a personality disorder. try talking to him about it, see what he says and seek professional help. MAKE SURE HE KNOWS HE'S LOVED. and you need to discipline, if he hits u, make sure he knows hes wrong. dont just tell him to go to his room, that shows him its okay to do what he's doing leading him to think, why should i do anything else i dont get in trouble for it.

Sophie

Poor little guy. He is acting out in anger for something. Can you show him some ways to get it out and tell you what's bothering him? Let him know that being angry is alright and maybe you and his Daddy can help him if only you knew what the problem is. If he doesn't understand himself what the problem is, the threapist should help.

Give him lost of things that he can express himself with markers/paper, dolls, stickers, magazines... anything. You can use those same things to show him your love for him.

Best wishes.

kookooberry

You think his behavior might somehow be connected to his being adopted? Or being taken from his birth mother?

Is there any chance that he has inherited something from his parents? Was his mother's pregnancy a healthy one?

I am not a mother to boys, but could it be possible that he is just very physical? Maybe overly rambunctious and intense? What I am thinking is maybe he is just wired that way. It doesn't excuse his behavior, but it might explain it.

Have you tried talking with his pediatrician?

Johnny S

Perhaps what this child needs is discipline, of the physical variety. I regularly see these children that are old enough to know better throwing all out fits as if they were two years old. You don't see that with children that are disciplined in a more traditional manner. That's the best I have, good luck.

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