Can you adopt if you have recently had health problems?

LindsayM

From your other Q & As I see that you are over 40, are considering IVF,have a wife who "refuses to do housework", prefering to shop instead, you "don't know what she wants", are a graduate student (in addition to working full time?), and have a wife in remission for a life threatening disease, and you're considering lying about this to increase your chances of raising an adopted child.

Hmmm.

My guess would be that you are too busy, possibly too old, and ethically challanged.

Your wife is ill, and sounds like she might be suffering from depression.

I hope that you'll concentrate on your wife's health, and let this adoption idea pass.

you will most likely have to get a note from her doctor stating that she is free and clear of any diseases and she will be able to commit to being an adoptive mother.

HappyMomAnna

The very first word of advice I have to offer is that you make sure you are fully and completely honest about everything if you intend to adopt a baby or child....

You can't go into this wondering how they might find out something!

Generally, the number one way to have the whole process stop and be "failed" for a home study is to Lie about anything or not answer 100% truthfully.....

Part of the home study includes a doctor willing to confirm that the parents are in good health and stake his medical credintials on it. One of the number one issues families face is getting their doctors to actually sign the paperwork--even some doctors people have seen for years find it difficult to sign off on this paperwork--even when the people involved have No real medical issues....

so.... trying to aviod this being known is Not the attitude to take and will be worse in the long run then being honest.

As for the health problem.... That issue will be important and it should be... Not too many mothers plan to give birth knowing they Might Not live to see their child go to kindergarten.... There are some who do--but, most people would agree that would be a rather selfish act.... and some would consider that to be very hurtful to the child... When it comes to adopting a baby or child--we need to consider things just as we would deciding to have a baby...

This is an important thing... It is important to keep the dream and desire of parenting in prespective. Would you "make a baby" and know there is a risk you will be a father parenting alone?

Some might accept this with a biological child--some seem to feel the creation of life from a life they might or will lose is some Part of that dying spouse---But, adoption is different in that you don't have the emotional reason to validate bringing a child into your life who may suffer the death of their parent prematurely...

These kinds of questions will come up during the home study... motivations for wanting a child will be important... Wanting to have a baby as a wish to fulfill a parents dream is not a good reason to adopt...

DOES THIS MEAN it IS NOT POSSIBLE to Adopt?

No.

What this means is that first of all you need to do research, many forms of leukemia and other cancers have a great rate of remission--and great life expectancy following treatments... It will be important that you research what the Real implications are... How many people fall out of remission before the five years and what is the life expectancy of someone who has overcome this kind of leukemia ....

You may know some of this now--it has been a hard road just getting through this...and Being in Remission is Awesome... if the statisics are solid and you have complied clear and complete data--then it will be considered for what it is worth... Simply saying what you have will Not answer the important questions....

Some methods of adoption have different criteria... My understanding is that the health of the parents is far more important with some International Adoptions because the countries make their rules...

Adopting a newborn...Often means the mother selects the parents she would like to place her baby with--and therefore it may be up to the mother to decide how she feels about placing her baby with you....

Adopting a child for foster care--has different parental criteria as well... and the health of the parents may or may not be as big of an issue..... There may be a child who has the same kind of leukemia and needs the love and support of a mother who has been through it....

The bottom line however is that No One can guarentee that we will not get in our cars and go out the door only to die on the way home that night.... So, facing a life and death situation will NOT always rule you out of the chance to parent....

Be honest--understand the full details of the leukemia--collect information to provide to those who do not understand the overall prognosis....and investigate the different methods for adoption....

..........and I will keep your wife in my prayers.

It might to adopt or even to do foster care you have to have a doctor signature that you are well enough to care for a child

Jennifer L

You both will need health examinations by physicans in the homestudy phase of the process. You may need something from the oncologist stating that the leukemia is in remission. I would encourage you both to be honest throughout the process.

whatever

There are a lot of Agencys that would not recommend you for adoption right now. They want to make sure that the illness is not life threatening nor interferes with parenting. I am so sorry to hear about your wifes battle with Leukemia. It is nice to hear she is in remission. My brother in law had it and I know it is an awful disease. Is your wife up to having a newborn right now. Maybe she is better off waiting a little longer??? best of luck to you both.

Naho

You can start the process with terms to create the ease of the adoption procedures ofter five years proven cleared of "leukemia". Because you both the adoptee and adoptor need to have a safe haven.

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