Close adoption. i need some advice!?

brazenangel3

If she doesn't have the name and information she needs to reach the family the only other way would be to contact the adoption agency or the attorney who supervised the adoption. What will usually happen is the agency or attorney will contact the family for you first to see how the family feels about your contact. If the family is alright with the idea then they agency will relay the family information to you. If the family is not fond of the idea you can try to have the agency ask the question for you. If your question is simply how is s/he doing, most people will be happy to answer that.

Best of luck to your friend.

Heather B

She should put her request in writing and ask for her inquiry to be passed to the family.

The system where a woman is prevented from knowing one jot of detail of what became of the child she gave birth to is an absolute travesty!

I would have been thrilled if my Mom had asked after my well-being. I hope your friend is well received by the adoptive family.

Best wishes

â™¥â™¥Ritaâ™¥â™¥

Probably not....closed is closed. I doubt she could even get any detailed information from the agency....beyond maybe sending pictures and a letter to the agency and hoping they would possibly pass them on and then hope the a/parent would share them with the child.

Was this an adoption done through the state?? If so, does she remember the name of her old worker?? If she does, there is a very slim chance that worker is still there (very slim) and if the worker is maybe they could pass the information on.....but I would not anticipate this being the case.

Crucio

She is free to try and contact them she could try going through the agnecy she used if she used one. If she knows the names of the people who adopted her child she could try some sort of search white pages etc. Though the family are not obligated to give her any information or updates about the child.

â™¥ ÊÉ›É³ â™¥

I think this would be very disruptive for the family and the child. After all, the child is 8 years old. She should feel confident that her child is doing just fine. After all, she did decide to give up her child for adoption. With that decision comes consequences. I am sure that was not an easy choice for her.

Nevertheless, the best interest of the child should be considered first and foremost before doing something like this. A weak moment for a biological parent b/c it is the holiday season when people are feeling nostalgic, considering their lives and regrets, is not the time to do something like this.

Wait three months, and if she is still feeling that urge, then she can pursue it then. Given that it was a closed adoption, the type of relationship the family was looking for is clear.

bratbrat2727

Nope, there is no way she can get in contact with the family that has her daughter. Even if you were to go through the court system you still would not win because it was a close adoption. This was her decision because she could have made it an open adoption.

coleblondehead

No, if its was closed adoption. But there might be a chance if the
child grows up and she is told she is adopted, she might look for her
mother.

kitta

Many mothers are still "choosing" closed adoption. They are of the mindset that they will 'forget' and "get on with their life" if they have no contact whatsoever. This is sometimes a result of poor counseling. Sometimes it is just a result of being too inexperienced(not their fault) to understand that giving birth to a child creates a bond that cannot be forgotten, ever.

As the years start to pass, they realize that they are not forgetting and they have a need to know their child is alive and well.

Most likely, the family does not know what she wants, so it is worth a try to reach out to them. If an agency handled the adoption, then the agency might be willing to forward a letter to the family. Keep the request minimal. Ask for a brief update. Offer to provide something in return, like recent medical information on the mother.

If an attorney handled the adoption, be very careful. Attorneys often smell a rat, even when there isn't one. So be very very careful and just ask for an update to assure her that the child is alive and well.

Good luck.

mom of many

sorry, but she no recourse on this. Particularly in a closed adoption. She has no rights at all regarding the child she long ago gave up. Even an open adoption is not enforceable.

Felicita1

By "closed" you mean that she has no identifying information on them or vice versa? That is the proper definition of "closed". Otherwise it is "semi-open". If she has identifying information on them, she can try to contact them. Otherwise, yes, she'll have to go thru the agency or lawyer or whatever.

Why on earth did she choose a closed adoption, if you don't mind me asking? If she was so clear back then that she did not love or want her baby, then why has she changed her mind now? ( Rhetorical question, perhaps, but adoption is not for children you love and want, unless you have been forced somehow to surrender them. And closed adoption especially, in this age of open adoptions where loving moms are convinced that they will continue to see the children they surrender and thus somehow it's supposed to 'hurt the child less.' The whole reason for open adoption was because moms had to be convinced to surrender babies they would otherwise have kept)

wispyspal

Closed means well CLOSED until the child is of the age of majority

A's Momma

No but maybe there is a family lawyer she can go through,

The Hottest thing around

If the child is not of age there is no way of getting the child unless you know the child's mother or fathers name and that's only if they have not changed it

Enter Your Message or Comment

User Name:
User Email:
Post a comment: