Considering infant adoption, but would like to talk with birth mother!?

meenahug

i know you must have been going through a lot in the last few years. must have been very hard on you. i will assume the best, that you aren't on here trolling for a baby, but simply justifying you reason to adopt. other threads have been very brutal to adoptive parents, letting us know how great of parents is probably just your way of expressing your emotions with your own feelings of failure, or your feelings that the world is not fair, that you, mature capable parents haven been able to have a child while others are getting pregnant when they don't want to and giving their babies up. i wish i could give you the advice that you are looking for. going through the foster care system may be less emotionally draining than seeking a baby pre-birth. there are horror stories about mothers changing their mind at the last minute and aparents getting their hopes up. foster children can definitely benefit from the home and life you want to give a child.

ladybmw1218

Did your agency tell you to "network" on your own? Is this part of that effort? I hear many agencies encourage such advertising, but I find it unethical, as well as dangerous. In my state it is illegal.

I would urge you to read here, and elsewhere to understand adoption ethics. Also, please examine your Christian values...as I don't think they should include marketing yourself to strangers to try to get a baby.

There are children in real need, through your state's child welfare system. There are women who are considering placing and looking at profiles through agencies, rather than on Yahoo Answers.

Heather B

Adoption is about finding homes for children who need them.

I'm sure you could offer a home to one of the thousands of children in the foster care system right now.

There really is no need to market yourself in this undignified manner. And you are leaving yourself wide-open to scam artists.

ETA: Pregnant ladies are 'expectant mothers' they are not 'birthmothers' even if they are considering adoption as an option - labelling them thus is just plain insulting.

tsk tsk

Anha S

My advice, stop trolling for babies on the internet, and look into foster care adoption. The foster system is full of children who's parents rights have been terminated who actually need a home.

Y!A is not a place to advertise for a womb wet infant. Its crass, and in my opinion amoral. Pre birth matching is one of the most coercive forms of adoption out there, and should be ended.

life is like the ocean

The term "birth" mother is degrading and demeaning. It is even more insulting when you assign someone this name that has not even given birth. Also, knowing her and having a relationship with her, prior to her giving birth, is coercive. If you chose newborn adoption, you need to not put your agenda in the way of the natural mother making an informed decision.

I understand that you want to parent, and your devastation in not having that happen biologically, and I honestly feel terrible for you. But you need to seriously research adoption, which has it's own pain and suffering, and by your post you obviously haven't. For one thing, you would never solicit a baby online as you just have.

Newborn adoption is huge trauma for infants, and for natural mothers that will affect them for life. If you really want to be a parent, don't start out as one by taking an infant from the arms of the only person they know and love. Take a child that has already been separated, and needs a mother, take one that is in the foster care system and needs a home.

Do some serious research into how natural moms and new infants are being exploited and separated for big money by adoption agencies. When you support this crime with your dollars, you condone it. The baby you acquire in this manner will know it too one day. And the young mother, will figure it out down the road, after the ramifications of losing a child sink in. Deep in your heart, you will know it too.

Best wishes.

sam22254

I'm 49 and have 3 children and 4 grandchildren One of which was stole through adoption.Don't worry to much the couple couldn't adopt him and my son sued them and the adoption agency and their church.
I have a nice 3 bedroom house 2 blocks from the lake. All my children and grandchildren take family vacations together. Summer- beaches.Winter - skiing in Colorado . We have 2 dogs and grandma. We are also Christians can't say much for the couple or their adoption agencies they believe in stealing children.

What I'm saying go some where else to troll for children.

cantstopLinnyG

I would advise you to not troll for babies here on Y!A. It is against their terms of service, so consider yourself reported.

'Insert name here'

OH MY GOD...how nice, you have been TTC and are now looking to adopt a new-born baby right? Well whats wrong with adopting a child from the full foster-care system!! Babies aren't on markets for sale!

grapesgum

"Birth" mother is an offensive term to many people and shows your ignorance about domestic infant adoption. It refers to a woman who has already given up her rights to her baby, so talk all you want to "birth" mothers, but a "birth" mother has nothing to offer that you want because someone else got her baby.

It is no wonder that you want to "get to know" the expectant mother before the adoption. Pre-birth matching is coercive and exploits a pregnant woman's vulnerability immediately after birth. It is no guarantee that "all parties will be happy the decision". You are either living in a fantasy world or believe the lies that adoption agencies are telling you. In fact, most women regret giving their babies away to strangers and are bitter that were railroaded into a hasty decision through pre-birth matching.

Please educate yourself with information other than adoption agency propaganda.

http://www.keepyourbaby.com/index.html

http://www.exiledmothers.com/adoption_facts/Why_Birthmother_Means_Breeder.html

gypsywinter

Thank You for your Resume! Sorry but I doubt there are any babies for sale here on Y/A. You are also violating Y/A TOS by cruising this forum in the hopes of finding a 'birth thing' and the contents of her womb! Now go out and do something useful for Human Kind, rather than trolling for Womb-Fresh babies on the internet. UGHHHH!

annie

This is odd. I am sure you would be great parents but this not the place. You will need to go to an agency. You are about to hear some mean stuff, I hope you have thick skin.

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