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cantstopLinnyG
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As an adoptee, I would one million percent of the time recommend the woman have an abortion. Abortion is a safe quick outpatient procedure. Surrendering a child to adoption will cause pain to the first mother for her entire life. Adoption also gives the child many emotional issues.
I was in an unplanned pregnancy situation when I was in high-school. There was no way I would put a child through not knowing where I was and have them go through what I did. My adoptive Mom understood, and took me to get an abortion.
Abortion is the choice to terminate a pregnancy, adoption aborts the mother and parenting. they're both "abortions", or an ending, so I say go for the choice which be less painful for all involved.
It is not the responsibility for fertile women to provide children for the barren, so it REALLY bothers me when I see people who have adopted or who want to adopt play the "Pro-Life" card. Yuck.
Here are some examples of how adoption can affect a child.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QOZGwqHVnKs
http://www.nancyverrier.com/pos.php
http://www.amfor.net/acs |
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grapesgum
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Never. And I am pro-choice. I would never give that advice to a parent.
Anyone who includes "you can just" in giving any advice has no clue what they are talking about. No, it is not as simple as "giving it up" for almost all mothers (and fathers too). I suspect that many of those who give that advice have never been pregnant. |
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Independ"ant"
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No and I would never suggest for someone to do so either.
Many pro life people would rather tell someone to give their child up for adoption because they really don't care enough to extend emotional/financial help to someone that could parent their child with a little assistance/support.
After the child is born.....they could care less.
Most are conservative republicans that are pro war....pro killing people which includes children.
Demented hypocrites. |
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stmica757
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I just placed my son for adoption about 2 months ago and it wasn't because I'm "lazy", "uncaring", "selfish" etc. I want my child to be given the best opportunities possible and right I'm not ashamed to admit that I can't give that to him. Walking away from him in the hospital and surrendering him to the adoptive parents was the hardest thing that I'll ever have to do. I still get teary eyed thinking about him but when you have children you have to stop thinking about yourself and think about what's best for them. Just because he and I share the same genes doesn't mean that he'll strive any better with me than he would with his new parents. People need to stop having the mind frame that sharing genetics automatically means there will be a bond. With God's grace and mercy I believe ANYTHING is possible and I KNOW my son will be well taken care of. |
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kateiskate
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Good question. I sometimes wonder if a lot of these people who say "Your baby will be so much better off if you give it up" have ever stopped to think about what it actually must be like for a mom to surrender her baby.
I know I don't have it in me to surrender my child. I am not strong enough to wonder and hurt over the loss of both my mother and my child. I'd have an abortion before letting the cycle continue. |
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myst1998
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Most people who are saying it would be possible to hand their child over have never actually done it before.
They say it with no qualification to say anything and have no clue what it would be like.
I would NEVER give away my child willingly. I have had a child taken for adoption and I know what its like to lose a child. But I would never give my child away.... hence why my baby was taken in the first place!!! |
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Melissa
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okay speaking from the point of an adopted person, i couldnt do it, but im very glad that i was given up, the life i would have had well to put it simply wouldnt have been living, i got fantastic parents who did their all for me, and no it wasnt just handing over a kid like passing someone the newspaper, my birth mom struggled with her decision but in the end as far as she and i are concerned made the right one for both of us. |
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`*•.(`*•.♥ Taylor ♥.•*´).•*`
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I honestly don't think I could ever give my child up for adoption. But I DAMN sure could never murder a baby. So if it came down to it, as hard as it would be, I would at least bring it into the world. My "choice" was made when I allowed the guy to get inside of me. Fear of people finding out isn't a good reason to kill the baby. If you wanted to hide a bad grade, you wouldn't kill the teacher. Eventually you'd have to accept the consequences for slacking off...
Anyway, I'm lucky enough to be able to find a way to raise a baby if I had to, so I would not be forced to give it up. But I choose to be responsible in my decisions so I don't have to cross that bridge.
Abortion does not make you "unpregnant" ABORTION MAKES YOU THE MOTHER OF A DEAD BABY
♥ Taylor |
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23 year old texas female married
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I have 3 kids I could never give any of them up for adoption. I feel so uncomfortable at my soon to be old church that I am switching. While I was pregnant with my third one of the deacons of the church wanted to adopt my baby and I can feel the dislike of my pastor because I chose to keep my baby.
I don't understand why a 22 year old married mother of 2 pregnant with her third would want to adopt out her child. Especially with 20% down on my house and a full time job. And experience raising 2 other children.
I thought about it and I KNOW it would be very painful to hand my baby over to somebody else. MORE painful than having an abortion. Yes I feel for the deacon and his wife for being infertile but it is not my job to supply a baby to a convict and to worry about an opinion of a former alcoholic pastor. It is easier to switch churches and follow my faith then to feel the tension over there.
I chose to keep and raise my kids. My kids are my heart. And any harm done to them is done to me. Starting with the separation anxiety they are cursed to have. |
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B
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I couldn't give my children up for adoption but I don't tell everyone else to do that either. I think a parent should raise their children if they possibly can but there are some people that do not want kids and can't cope with them and some people that thinks their child willl have better oppurtunities with another family. For those people adoption is one of their options. |
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Rowena
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I'm sixteen years old and absolutely do not want to have children because I have a lot to look forward to but if I was to fall pregnant I don't think I could give a baby up for adoption. I don't think anyone could be a better mother to my children than me. Obviously it's not ideal but I don't think I could do that too myself let alone a child; but i understand why girls put babies up for adoption and don't condemn it. |
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Jonny S
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Many people are content with "just" killing a baby, and they think nothing of it. Many people try to drive the askers away from abortion. In a way, an abortion would be adoption, but instead of handing the baby over to a loving family, it goes to death. And if somebody cares so little that they're willing to hand their child over to death, then they should be able to give it to a caring family. |
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#1 Due 12/6
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I would never give my baby up. I'm the kind of person who will work my but off to do what is right for my baby.
Your question should be: Could you kill your baby?
Hell no! I would never in a million years kill a baby just because I didn't "feel ready" or was "financially unstable". NO not an option for me.
I don't get it. People say they couldn't surrender their child to a loving home, yet their all for killing it? What's the logic in that? Selfish much? |
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Erin
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I am pregnant right now with a child I plan to give up. I don't want it and abortion is against my religion. |
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Crucio
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Yes if I felt I could not provide a child with the best possible life I would place him or her up for adoption. It might not be easy but it’s not about me, it’s about the child. I would never ever get an abortion unless there was a very high probability that I would die. That said I hope to never to get myself into the situation where I would have to consider placing my baby for adoption.
Yarr if that’s the case why not just take a permanent solution and get your tubes tied. If you never plan or want children that seems to be the prefect solution. You wouldn’t even have to deal with your monthly period. |
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Lori A
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Actually I have. It has been the most painful thing I have ever done. I've also "SNUFFED OUT A LIFE" and yes I can live with myself. I'm not proud of it but I am not carrying around the mental anguish that adoption has caused me. Am I sorry? Yes, but that doesn't change the FACT that abortion isn't killing me on a daily basis, and adoption was.
I like the way outsiders to surrender throw around the concept as cavalier as oh go have a drink and forget about it. I tried that, one drink turned into a lifestyle for me. It almost took every shred of decency I had left.
If you have't tried it, don't suggest it.
If yo wern't a strong woman before surrendering, you will be afterwards, but it's not a strength, I recommend. |
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livelaughlearngrow
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I am a mother who gave up her first born. It was the most heartbreaking decision of my life. I choose for her to live and to be raised by a family that desperately wanted a child but could not have one naturally. I was raised by my bitter grandmother and I could not see any way I could give her the kind of life she deserved 18 years ago I was not ready to be a mother,that fact is obvious in the video I have of us in the hospital. I held her rocked her, gave her a bottle and changed her diaper. You can see I am trying, but not doing so great. I have 2 young children in addition to her and I have been a much better mother as a adult. I pray that her family was as wonderful I they seemed and that she has had a loving secure life. I could "IF" myself to death over the issue , but that will not change anything.
No, it is not a simple as just handing over the kid. We were still in the hospital and she was 3 days old the last time I saw her. face, but she has been in my heart this entire time.I did undergo counseling in the first year.
Yes her younger siblings know about her,we watch the video on her birthday March 28th every year and pray for her. |
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Nora
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NO not mine or my siblings. I'd take the baby if a sibling was not able to raise it. I believe a baby should be raised by a relative if at all possible. |
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snowwillow20
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I did give up a child 37 years ago. I could never tell a woman to give up her baby because I know the pain it causes.
You are right when you said "because it seems to me it wouldn't be as simple as "just" handing a kid over" . It isn't simple, it's the hardest thing I've had to live with in my 55 years. I will never get over the guilt of that one decision. |
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Nicole
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Personally I wouldn't be able to hand my baby over. I can't imagine doing something like that. I would recommend it to other people though if they were in a hard place. I don't believe in abortion and I believe adoption is a wonderful gift you can give someone. It's a selfless act and takes just the right person. |
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tish_part deux
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not if i was tied, burned, "waterboarded", and staved for 30 days...
relinquishment is NOT easy...nor is it natural to gestate and hand over a kid to others. hence, why adoption is a mult-billion dollar business with well paid lobbyists, marketers, counselors (who only preach 'adoption') to make adoption work. |
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Yarr
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Honestly... I will never have to because I already decided that if my BC fails I'll get an abortion. I don't want a kid and see no reason to waste bodily resources creating one just to ditch it.
"Yarr if that’s the case why not just take a permanent solution and get your tubes tied. If you never plan or want children that seems to be the prefect solution. You wouldn’t even have to deal with your monthly period."
I am 23 with a boyfriend and no kids. No one will tie my tubes because apparently they know me better than I know me, and I 'might change my mind'. Not only that but getting your tubes tied can cause early menopause with serious side effects. Next time do more research before making stupid suggestions. Don't you think I've TRIED to get them tied? Duh.
"And if somebody cares so little that they're willing to hand their child over to death, then they should be able to give it to a caring family."
If someone who doesn't care enough to let it live in their body why would they bother keeping it in their body for 9 months? Its a matter of both not caring and not wanting to be fed off of for 9 months while you're body becomes deformed until the thing pops out of you furth deforming your lady bits. Seriously. The only GOOD thing that comes out of pregnancy is a baby, and if you don't want the baby there is no reason to stay pregnant. Can you really picture someone like me having anything positive to say about a kid I gave up (even though I wanted to abort them)? Its much more responsible to get an abortion than to tell a kid who finds you later that you don't want any contact because you'd have rather aborted them... seriously. |
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Rowan
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No i couldn't. i couldn't willingly give up my own flesh and blood.
I don't feel i need to justify why i wouldn't. I just couldn't do it.
I'm an adoptee, and i had a good childhood, yet i still wouldn't do it. I don't think i'd survive will my sanity fully intact.
I am pro choice. If a woman wants to abort, then i say she should, if she feels it's right for her. |
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avi
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I don't think I could. I don't think I could get an abortion either. But, who knows? I do think too many people in the adoption section of YA get far too hung up on the word "just." It's a simple, almost throw away word and people here take is almost as an insult. Silly. |
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IDK!!
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Those people know nothing about adoption and are just spewing what they read.
It's like saying "let them eat cake"
It's faulty to assume that "all these" people are infertiles looking to snag a baby, most of them are in no way connected to adoption, I think MOST of them ARE mothers who are PARENTING their child.
If it were the other way around and it's a person struggling with infertility, then should we assume that people who tell them to adopt are actually women looking to place their children.
SOOO board with the "drama".... Yes, anyone how suggest adoption MUST be looking for a baby, Anyone who is infertie MUST consider adoption. WTFE |
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