Desperately need advice from other foster parents?
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Desperately need advice from other foster parents?
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My husband and I have been foster parents for a few years now. We have adopted one child who came to us and are in the process of adopting our youngest son.
We've been offering care on a long term basis and over the last year or so have been experiencing more problems than ever before. There are children being placed back into homes where the parents are still active drug users, children going back only to be molested again and our middle foster child has been back to his mother then brought back to us again 7 times!
We love fostering and don't want to stop, but my health is suffering now. I have depression and anxiety from the worry of some children returning to abuse, there is no support from our case managers, and we're seriously thinking of withdrawing as foster parents. I know it's a huge decision, and it would mean the children currently in our care going to a new family (we would continue with our adoption).
I'm very stressed and very unhappy right now. I would like to know if any foster parents have been through this and how they went about it? Did you have to say goodbye to children already in your care, etc?
TIA for any advice.
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Looney Tunes
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Hey. I read this a couple of times before I answered. I am sorry you are experiencing this, but it does not surprise me. Unfortuntately the system is SOOO flawed that kids going back and forth into foster care is not uncommon.
Maybe it is time for a break. I hate to say that to good foster parents, because they are really needed, but look at it this way....if you are getting sick, you are not going to be the best parent for your own children and any children you foster.
If you are getting sick, I think it is time to stop. Look, case-workers get burned out all the time, therapist who work with foster kids get burned out all the time and only take small case loads....it is OK that you are getting overwhelmed.
It is hard to be a foster parent. The kids are tough, the situations are tough, the "system" is tough.....it can take a toll. But it is ok to take a break. You have provided safety and homes for a number of years...now take care of yourself and your family. |
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sunny
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I'm so sorry, Snickette. |
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Emmy lu
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I would think that the person who said you should keep your lisence open for the ones you have but not accept new might have the right idea. If you think you can handle it that is. I would try getting in counseling or therapy to help cope with the depression and anxiety. But if you truly feel like you are putting yourself through too much and/or it's effecting you too much then its going to be better on you & everyone involved if you just step out. I just think you should listen to your heart. it's definitely too bad that the system has caused you to feel this way though. Very sad. best of luck! |
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