Did anyone know a "Girl who went away?

grapesgum

Yes, I know a "Girl who went away". Yes, she was changed. She cried a lot. No, she did not laugh. She had to pretend that she never wanted her son. In reality, she loved him with all of her heart and mourns today, 33 years later. She married a wonderful man, has "legitimate" children, and is very financially secure. She breaks down sobbing at every family gathering. No one understand why.

She hates her parents. But because she is a "Girl who went away" she is a very good actress who plays the part of a doting daughter. Very few people know that she hates their guts and rejoices in every old age pain that they feel. She futilely hopes that they will die young from guilt.

She will never forgive them.

I am sorry that I can't help you understand. I don't either.

anastasia beaverhausen-the real1

my best friend in HS got pregnant at 17. we were in 11th grade. her parents sent her away to some nun factory.

she came back, baby in tow, strong as H*LL. there was NO way she was giving up her baby. not for anything. she was stronger than her parents.

i admired her to death. i wish my own mother had been that strong to say, "screw you" to her parents and any nun that got in her way of keeping me.

my HS friend has now been married to the father of her baby for 22 years and they have two more kids together, 2 college educations and he is a doctor.

Lori A

Ohhh yeah. my mom was so excited when she heard that the girl down the street was pregnant. She was catholic, she went away, she came back but I never really saw her again. I mean never saw her. I have wondered about her for years.

amyburt40

Yes I do. M could never look at me in the eyes again. She placed her child and I was an adoptee thirteen years older than her son.

mom lost 66

I was one of those girls that went away
my mother took me to this place and just left me their
I was told go to on with my life as if it never happened!
how do you do that you lost your first born you wonder
all of your like if your child is ok
you are told you will forget
how do you forget
all of my life I never forgot my son he is part of me my son
was abducted by adoption I fought like hell for over 5 months and they still got my child I was never told about any type of help for me and my child till I could get on my feet and work and make us a
home!
my rights were violated I had no counsel no lawyer, no judge
no nothing if that is not abduction that please tell me what is
I will never be the same again part of me is missing nothing
anyone can do will ever change the fact that I am a mother
without her child
I will never forgive my mother for what she did to me and my life
the hurt never end

Rowan

i did. my close friend in church, "left for college early" and gave birth to her second child there, which, like her first, was given up for adoption. When she came back for christmas break, she tried to act like it was nothing. But it wasn't nothing. Her first child, she was 16. She attended a church school, and was told if she didn't give the baby up(she named him Sidney) she would not be allowed back to school at all. This was a pastor of a church who told my friend this!She gave him up. That damaged her more then i will ever know. No one knew the first time. The Second time, she was sent away, and gave birth surrounded by strangers. Again, her father(her mother had passed by this time) went there and the whole thing happened again.
I wanted to answer this question because, despite the fact i support adoption, i do believe some girls and women are coerced into giving up their children. My friend to this day, has never forgiven either her father, or the pastor of her church for doing what they did.

tish

yes. in highschool (1986)

she was changed significantly.

she was sad quite often.

she gain a lot of weight and dressed really "downy."

she carried a "pacifier" on her key chain (which was the one given to the baby in the hospital), tried to get pregnant again, and turned to drugs.
------------------------------------

she dropped out of school in the 10th grade.

so much for "moving on", heh?

I Love A Child With Autism!!!

Not quite a girl that went away, but still interesting...

I went to a Catholic private school (yes, I know, please don't hold it against me), and there was this girl who was a senior, 2 years older than me. Anyway, she seemed to gain a little weight, but nobody thought anything of it because she always seemed to struggle a bit with her weight. Then one day she left school with terrible pains in her stomach. Turns out...she went to the hospital...and delivered a baby.

She never told a soul except for the father. He thought she terminated the pregnancy because he told her he didn't want it and she never said anything to him about it after that. What happened was she had some type of breakdown, she didn't want to abort, but she was too scared to tell her parents. She ended up wrapping her stomach to hide her belly.

In the end, her parents ended up adopting her little boy and raising him as their son...HER BROTHER!!! From what she claimed...she never had a child! She never admitted toi having her son, she insisted to everyone that he was really her brother They say she blocked his birth out of her mind becausehe couldn't deal with it.

I don't know what has happened to her in the past 11 years because I have moved away, but I often wonder about her. Hopefully she has gotten some much needed help and moved forward in her life because she was never even remotely the same person after she had the baby.

Kazi

I graduated high school in the mid nineties and my school had an unfortunate nickname: "maternity high" as there were at least 2 girls a year that became pregnant. It was a private Catholic school, but I guess they still felt that abstinence was the best course of action (sarcasm). The pregnancies were not kept secret though. Everyone knew, but they were kept at home during their pregnancies because they would be a "bad influence" on us pure virgins (yeah, right) and most of them placed. As for how they were changed, as we travelled in different crowds it's hard to say. From the outside they looked just fine (they were in the popular crowd), but looking back I am sure the face they put to their friends and maybe even their family was quite different than the one they saved for when they were alone. Now 3 of my girlfriends each got pregnant at 16 and kept their babies. 2 have worked out fabulously, each married and with 2 more children. The other sadly, finally lost custody of her children 6 years ago to CAS due to her inability to protect them from their abusive father and her refusal to leave him.

I think parents of the girls who placed their children for adoption probably honestly believed they were making the best decision for their daughters and that they would "move on" eventually. That was probably the advice they received as well. I love my daughter so much that I can't believe that another parent would want to intentionally hurt their daughter by convincing her to give up her baby. Parents do the best with what they know at the time. And if they believed and everyone is encouraging the belief that their daughter's will be "better off" in the long run, then they probably hoped it was true.

Olivia

I went to high school with a girl who got curves, disappeared for 4 months, and then came back to school. it was later revealed that she had given birth and given the baby up for adoption. takes guts, I applaud her.

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