Did you change after meeting your natural parent/s?

PhilM

I don't think I changed. Not exactly. I had a better sense of who I am. Maybe that gave me a bit more confidence and self-assuredness. But I don't think I changed who I was, fundamentally.

What did change, for me, was an unwillingness to continue to play roles that ill-fit me. I had for many years been the peacemaker in my family. While I probably still fall into that sometimes, I'm less likely to, now. It's not a role I ever felt comfortable with, and I notice an unwillingness to let others put me into that role. Maybe that goes a long with having a better sense of who I am. I'm not sure.

So, deep down, no change. But I think I'm better in touch with that "deep down" now. And that's important to me.

LaurieDB

No, it didn't change my personality. I mean, I am who I am. That remains. But, it helped me greatly to finally have the rest of the picture. I understand more about my origins. I see people with whom I share personality and physical traits in a way that I didn't have before. Perhaps that doesn't seem like much to people who've always had it, but it was something that I wanted. It means a lot to me to have it. It makes me more comfortable with who I am.

Getting to know my first family and what happened prior to my adoption has filled in some blank spaces. It was hard for me to see how much pain my relinquishment caused my first family -- extended family included. Seeing my father in tears and hearing about how he searched and suffered wasn't something I was expecting. It was hard to watch. Seven years later, we have a great relationship, and it's good to see him happy.

sunny

I became more of myself.

It's like I finally had the manual that everyone else has at the beginning of their lives. It took a couple years, but everything clicked.

There are environmental issues, though. My nmother says I have 'downstairs' mentality. As in upstairs/downstairs. Say a person who comes to clean my house doesn't do a very good job, I blow it off. Mother thinks this is very 'downstairs' of me, and that I should get what I pay for. She believes that I identify with 'downstairs' too much.

But having been raised with my afamily (who had very downstairs mentality) I believe that no matter how much money I have, I will never quite get upstairs.

Torrejon

Finding my bparents did not change my personality at all. It did fill in a few pieces of my own puzzle. It also made me realize that I knew much more about them than I realized...just hints of intuition throughout my life that I never trusted but should have.

However the experience of having to petition the courts for my records to be opened...that was humiliating. Having to pay a hefty sum of money to get information about myself that every non-adopted citizen can get for free...that made me realize the discrimination that I suffer as an adoptee. The ridiculous irony that I know my bparents names and addresses, but I cannot get a copy of my original birth certificate to protect their anonymity...uuuh...is not what makes this country great. So, the experience of bureaucratic red-tape, suffering the effects of outdated rules about secrecy, and the very real and continuous discrimination definitely changed me.

JennaBear

I have become more personally authentic after meeting my n-family.

Gershom

Yes. I found a part of me, i never had the trust to believe was really me. It validated a lot for me. I was in a semi fog, and it lifted....a lot.

flowergirl

I met my birth parents when I was a teenager, and it helped me so much. I felt so lost and had a lot of depression issues. Once I met them and knew their story and where I came from I felt so much better. Before I knew them, I felt like I had been rejected by my own flesh and blood. Afterward, I understood that they actually had SO much love for me, that they carried me full term (instead of abortion) so that they could not only give me the chance of having a life, but a life much better than what they could give. After meeting them, I think I turned into a much more positive person, and I didn't have to take anti-depressants anymore.

AvaRae

I do not think I change, I pretty much knew who I was and was where I wanted to be in life before the reunion occured. Like KTea my reunion was not the best with my birthmom. She is a negative, overbearing person, but I did not let that affect my life. We are to the point were we have limited contact, an email or call once a year. It definately brought me closer to my parents and I realized how speical our relationship was.

My understanding of my adoption became slightly clearer. Back when I was adopted little was truly known about reason's why, who etc. Most stories where they wanted a better life, etc. etc. I heard a variety of stories from my BirthMom, but in the end my BirthFather told me the truth. I do have a good friendship with him, so that relationship did enrich my life.

deannakitty1970

I felt sad that my bio father was never a part of my life growing up, But I can't say I love him because I don't know him. I think of him more as a friend. It was neat to see what physical traits we have in common, But that's about it.

sweet kacey

No she was everything I was told she was. I never want or need to see her again. She is a horrible person. Thank God for my Adoptive Mom. She is my real mom. The other woman is just the woman that had me.

bubba

never met em, but i might like adoption more if i did cause they probably are messed up.

Matthew M

I could care less about my Natural parents. They aren't even my parents. They are just another stranger. Seriously , dont do any of that bullxxxx and go looking for your natural parents. Its just stupid , and it makes your REAL parents feel really really bad.

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