Did you regret giving up your child?

realmom lese

Yes. I regret adoption with all of my heart. You will too. So will your child. The only thing a baby wants and knows is his/her mom. Your child will suffer a tremendous loss without you if you chose adoption. You will never fill the empty arms and heart that adoption leaves you with. Your baby will be lost to you forever.

Everyone told me not to abort, that adoption was the "loving" option. It totally wasn't. My child was raised in an abusive home. She would've fared much better with me. She has suffered because of adoption, and so have I.

Abortion and adoption both have consequences. There are no easy answers. If I were to chose between the two....hands down....it would be abortion. A small mass of cells removed from my uterus vs. a lifetime of sorrow and pain......no contest. Of course, I am talking an early abortion. My overall choice would be to keep my baby!

Whatever YOU decide, do not listen to the adoption propaganda fed to you. It is not a disney movie. There is no such thing as better parents. You are absolutely the best for your child. Money, youth, being unwed.....these are all temporary things....adoption is permanent.

Open adoptions are NOT legally enforceable and used soley by the industry to get a young pregnant women to sign over her baby. Do not fall for that! Adoption is not a gift to the infertile. You do not owe anyone YOUR baby.

Adoption is not what your child wants. I don't think you do either.

Rowan

my biological mom does. I cant tell you one person i know whos given a child up that doesnt regret it.

You will love your child, thats a given. If you want to keep it, keep it.

ETA: thumb me down all you want, but my bio mom DOES regret giving me and my twin brother away. Thats a fact.

Lori A

Done both and one carries much more weight on my heart than the other. The one I carried to term. Damn me if you will but there is no comparison between aborting something the size of a pea and feeling every move and hickup a growing child has, going through all the motions only to go home with empty arms.

Did I regret it? Every day of my life and that includes today. I have been in reunion for 9 years, things worked out well for all who benefited by the adoption but it broke my heart. Still does.

If your not a tough woman now you will be in a few years.

And here's what Katie and her friends will have to say about you after you do that selfless loving act of kindness for others http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=AsaYPX9pkYdnvLcdmpMd5oxq.Bd.;_ylv=3?qid=20090318143247AArnliO

Flying Monkey #073177

Every moment of every day.

snowwillow20

The people who say to give it up, have never done it themselves, they have no freakin idea what it feels like to give birth and then not take that baby home. It really pisses me off to no end that these people are giving this free advice like give it up and your life will return to normal, sorry but it just isn't true. It's one of the biggest falsehoods of our time. No it's a lie. It hurts like nothing else you will ever live through.

Philippa

Oh dear you've already got one uneducated response.

My son being adopted was the worst thing that ever happened to me and I will always regret it. I didn't choose adoption but wish I had had the courage to defy my parents and done a disappearing act before he was born. Had I done that my son would have been raised by me.

As you're already having doubts about adoption don't go through with it and going on what others are advising is the worst reason to choose adoption. If you don't want to go through with this then don't otherwise you will regret it for the rest of your life..

Katie - you obviously haven't surrendered because you don't have a clue what you're talking about.

cantstopLinnyG

Most women do, and say it almost ruined their lives, and caused some of them to attempt suicide, or at least contemplate the act.

If you are early enough along, consider terminating the pregnancy. It will be less painful for you and the embryo. I had an abortion BECAUSE I was adopted.

Dont be swayed by anyone telling you that you can have an open adoption, either. They are NOT legally enforceable ith the US.

What's best for your baby is to be raised by YOU, not strangers. A baby does not need "things", they only need the love from their natural mother.

Your problems are temporary, and there is help available to you Adoption is permanent. Listen to the first Moms and the adoptees on this site...WE are the ones who know how adoption will affect US, not adoptive parents or prospective adoptive parents. They only know how your baby will feel to THEM, and it's NOT supposed to be about them.

Please do NOT give your child up for adoption. The pain will last an entire lifetime, for you and YOUR BABY.

Please read the facts about adoption and how it will more than likely affect YOUR BABY and YOU.... your child deserves to be loved and raised by YOU. Adoption does NOT guarantee a better life, only a different one.

Also, do NOT contact anyone who has asked you to, or who has emailed you already. They are greedy vultures who want to make money off your baby, or want that baby for themselves.

Please go to these links to see how adoption will affect your baby and you. There are resources available to you to help you and your baby.

http://www.cubirthparents.org/edd/index....
http://www.exiledmothers.com/adoption_fa...

http://www.nancyverrier.com/pos.php
http://www.adoptioncrossroads.org
http://www.amfor.net/acs
http://www.origins-usa.org
http://www.motherhelp.info/index.htm
http://www.keepyourbaby.com/
http://www.thegirlswhowentaway.com/

http://www.youtube.com/user/adoptedthemo...

Books:
The Primal Wound by Nancy Verrier
Lost and Found: the Adoption Experience AND
Journey of the Adopted Self: A Quest for Wholeness both by Betty Jean Lifton
The Adopted break Silence by Jean Paton
The Girls Who Went Away by Ann Fessler
Adoption: Uncharted Waters,by David Kirschner
Being Adopted: The Lifelong Search for Self by David Brodzinsky

grapesgum

Most do.

A friend of mine says it is like being buried alive the rest of your life.

If you are healthy and willing to work hard, you are a million times better for your child than strangers. There are no guarantees that your child will go to a good family. Be especially careful of people who contact you on the internet. Very dangerous!!!!!

Penny A (Vanessa)

Yes I do regret it. I'm not bitter about it though, I accept that it's part of my history, but I know things now that I wish I knew back then.

Notwithstanding that, everything 'worked out' and he's happy.

To Add: Snowwillow - I get what you are saying, you spoke for me too, thank you for that xx

Why am I getting thumbs down? Am I uncool becuase I'm not bitter?

Hermione

Of all the people I have met who are touched by adoption whether adoptee or birth parent, adoption has been a cause of regret and sorrow for them, I would recommend you avoid it if you possibly can. Once you have held your child in your arms you will fall in love with him/her because that is what you are biologically programmed to do and hence you will never be able to forget that bond, neither will your child. On a personal note I would not be able to entrust any child of mine to strangers, no matter what checks are made you can never be sure they will love and care for your child as you would wish them to be cared for. Also on a more practical note pregnancy takes a huge toll on your body and to go through that and not have the joy of a baby at the end would be really hard. Ultimately the choice is yours and you have to live with it so you must be really careful not to let others influence you.

LindseyTaylor

I don't, and please never be afraid of loving your child. if you do end up going thru with this, love should be the thing motivating you. I choose a couple who calls me all the time and takes such an interest in my life, tells my daughter all about me, wants us to have a relationship. I was mentally unable to care for a child (i wasnt crazy, just still trying at 18 to learn how to take care of myself, how to handle life situations) wasnt financially ready...i honestly just couldnt. It was really the best thing i have ever done, and i would not change it for anything..even thou i miss her dearly...

But on the other hand i realize i was very VERY lucky...i found a near perfect couple who has always been honest with me. alot of people dont have that kind of integrity. alot of people will lie to you and try to trick you. You have to decide for yourself, for your own reasons, and be very wary about who you trust. Go with your heart, i know its hard...its not 100% good, but believe me its not 100% bad.

just an opinion

I haven't relinquished a child, I just want to state that first. And neither have I ever had children. So I can't honestly answer your question from personal experience.

But what I do want to say is, do your homework before you make a decision. Don't be spoon-fed all the jargon about adoption being happiness and flowers for everyone, either. Adoption can be a good thing, but it can also be a very horrible thing as well. My boyfriend is adopted, and his adopted parents were a dream on paper: two-parent, married, Christian couple with a stay at home mom and a six-figure salary from the dad; even a nice suburban house in an upper-middle class neighborhood with a yard and a tree-house and a dog. What he ended up with was a verbally abusive and emotionally neglecting set of people who I think just wanted children to complete their family image for the Church, and to this day they continue to belittle him and neglect him and hurl abuses at him like no parents I've ever seen.

I'm not telling this to you to scare you. There are many children who are adopted to loving families, and these children will grow up to be well-adjusted adults who feel they have grown from their experiences. But I just want you to realize that that is NOT a guaranteed outcome, and anyone who tells you otherwise is flat-out lying. You do take a chance with adoption. And in 18 years if that child comes looking for you, I just want you to be prepared that while he/she may have had a good life, it is also the case that they may have not. Just be prepared for that.

By my personal philosophy, I encourage you to raise your child if you can. I personally don't believe that as a pregnant woman I would "owe" any infertile couple the "gift" of a child. I believe a child is a gift only to my family, and to anyone else it's just a replacement for the children they couldn't conceive. (Exception to people who open their homes to foster children. I truly believe those people are trying to help the world one life at a time.) Use WIC and Welfare if you must to get on your feet, and be willing to take a job that you might not have wanted before if it means you and your baby eat and sleep with a roof over your heads. Accept hand-me-downs, and learn to shop at Goodwill and garage sales. That's what I would do if I weren't in your shoes. If I couldn't even do that, I would probably have an abortion, just because I don't think I could handle wondering if my child's adoptive parents were as awful as my boyfriend's adoptive parents are to him.

Please, please make an educated decision. Talk to as many natural moms (first moms, birth moms, whatever term is considered least offensive...sorry if I do offend anyone, it's not intentional I assure you) as you can. If you know someone with an infant or toddler, ask if you can hang out with them for a day so you can see what it's like to have a baby (I'm assuming you're young). If you think adoption really is the best alternative, then please at least seek out a non-profit agency. But if you think you can do it, I highly encourage you to try! Hang in there! :)

gypsywinter

I suffered tremendously from regret, guilt and shame for 34 years, in silence. I was never ashamed of being pregnant nor of giving birth to my own baby outside of marriage. Rather I felt tremendous guilt for 'giving away' my own baby and the shame of that surrender act as well. Reunion was a major factor in my education about adoption, and the impact it has upon the adoptee and the mother. Not the least to mention the 'surrender pain' that is visited upon subsequent children as well.

To love your own baby, is perfectly normal...that is what the Creator planned for mother and her baby. Please talk to other mothers and also very important to talk to adoptees who are enlightened on the subject of adoption. Adoptive parents cannot speak for a mother who has surrendered nor speak to the adopted person's experience of being adopted, if they have not surrendered their own baby nor have been adopted. It is not selfish to want to keep and raise your own baby...that's YOUR baby!! Where there's a will, there is a way..Hang in there....your baby needs you..

mom_of threegirls

Before I start and people start bashing me~I had an abortion when I was ALOT younger due to the fact that there is NO way I could have given my baby away. I know people will be like shes horrible or whatever BUT I was young and I made a mistake and I can't go back and redo it! I honestly can say if I could go back I don't know what I would do. I would probably keep the baby but I am not sure. It really has impacted my life tremendously and I never took the situation lightly. So you need to do what is in YOUR heart and not listen to anyone else because YOU WILL hold it against them later if you let someone make that choice for you.

Shannon M

i gave my second child for adoption. it was the hardest thing i ever done so far in my life. i can say this it dont have to be that bad it all depends on the kind of adoption you do. i have an open adoption with the couple that have my son and they send me pics. and gifts 4 my other children 4 christmas. its been 5 years now and it has been great. you may think about you wished you dont wont to but think about what is best 4 the baby at this time and not what you wont. thats what i did. Ihpe that helped if not im sorry

purple monkey dishwasher

Imagine what your feeling, but I million times worse when it happens and for the rest of your life. You obviously love your child now and your child believe it or not loves you too. If you have any thought that you will regret it, that most likely you will. The best place for that child is with its mother, not some family that forces it to be a part of something it is not.

Felicita1

If you DO love your child, then adoption is not for you, because you WILL feel forced to surrender that child, even if you feel you have to surrender your baby because someone convinced you that your baby "deserves" someone other than you.

The only way to guarantee your child will have a stable family is to provide one yourself, because you cannot sign adoptive parents to any guarantee that they will never divorce, die early, or go bankrupt. I know several mothers who were forced to surrender having everyone around them tell them they were not good enough for their babies, being single moms, and then the adoptive parents divorced when the child was still a toddler.

Most mothers who have surrendered babies for adoption say it is the most traumatic experience of their lives. Over half suffer symptoms of PTSD. More than 80% suffer moderate to severe depression. About half experience unresolved grief for the rest of their lives as it does not diminish but either stays the same or increases -- grief as bad as having a baby die.

So, you should think carefully about your choice. I advise you prepare for your baby, take your baby home with you with all the support you require (and yes there are agencies that will help you gather this), and only once you have recovered from birth, then consider adoption if you truly do not love or want your baby -- because that is the situation it was created to provide for and even then there are alternatives such as kinship care so your child does not have to lose his family.

Katelyn P

Alright, you need to think about this, what is better for the baby?

Adoptions don't go to incompetent people who can't take care of themselves.
Attorney's evaluate their clients before they allow them to adopt a child.

I'm adopted and I'm telling you, it is the greatest thing that has ever happened to me. You are killing someone if you are aborting them. I was supposed to be an abortion. I found out recently my birth mother had to see the needle they use for abortion before she decided to go through with my adoption.

You're baby could grow up to be an intelligent, beautiful person. And one day you can reunite with them and see how great they are.

You really need to consider adoption.

Nurse Autumn Intactivist NFP

Ok, I just want you to know that I know how you feel, I have been there. I haven't given up a child, but I am a mother who was told to relinquish. I had an unplanned pregnancy at 19. I was CONVINCED that I would not be a good mom, and I was really wasn't ready. But I got ready. Being a good parent is determined by the choices we make, and we choose to make those choices, there is not a magical moment in time when we become ready, and we automaticaly are good parents. We can be ready at anytime we choose, all we have to do is decide to make the good choices. Jaydens father isn't around, but that is okay. Think of it this way:

If the main reason you are wanting to give him up for adoption is because the father is not around, then your child is being rejected by BOTH of his parents, not just one, why are 2 strangers better than one natural parent? Unless there is abuse or neglect, there is no reason for an adoption to occur.

Is it because you are single? So am I, and let me tell you, it is NOT as bad as people make it out to be. Now, I DO have the support of my family, and that helps a ton, but I am still the one that provides the support for my son, I am the one that raises him, and I wouldn't have it any other way. If you are wanting a "Two parent home" for your child? Remember, that the divorce rate is out of control, and more than likely, your child will end up being raised by a single parent anyway. Then what? You loose a child, your child looses his heritage (and YOU, which is all he really wants anyways) all for a situation which is no better than he would have had anyways REMEMBER! You will not always be single! THIS IS TEMPORARY!!!

Is it because you are young? Honestly, people used to have children at 16 ROUTINELY and did a great job with them. It is an extreamly new development that women wait untill their 30's to have children. I am 21 now, and let me tell you, I am a wonderful mother. I love my son more than anything. Age is only a number, you CHOOSE to be a good or bad parent! REMEMBER! You will not always be young! THIS IS TEMPORARY!!!

Is it because you are in school? So am I. I am in Nursing School. I go to school at night, so my mom or my aunt can watch Jayden. Going to school while being a mom is not that bad. So you have to move your schedual around a little, so what? I promise, it pays off in the end. Being a mom is SOOOO much more fun than getting drunk every weekend at a frat house. And guess what, you can STILL party sometimes, you just find a babysitter for the night. I have never met a woman that became a mother and COMPLETELY gave up having a little fun every once in a while. REMEMBER! You will not always be in school! THIS IS TEMPORARY!!!

Is it because you don't think that you will be able to support the child? I thought that too. I had to move back in with my Mom, I got on Medicaid, WIC, and other government programs. You will get AWESOME scholarships and Grants for having a child. I will end up oweing next to nothing for school. You child does't want a fancy nursery, name brand clothes, and a trust fund, he wants YOU! You are ALL that he knows, and ALL that he wants. A baby is accutely aware of who his mother is immediatly after birth. This is the modern world, people will NOT allow you and you child to go without basic necessities. There are second hand stores that have REALLY cute stuff for next to nothing. REMEMBER! You will not always be struggling! THIS IS TEMPORARY!!!

I really hope you do your research (and that does NOT mean asking adoption agencies what they think, they make money from separting you from your child)

I also hope that you do not make a decision untill after your baby is born. There is NO rush, why don't you try to parent him for a while? At least then you will know...

23 year old texas female married

Look, You have 3 choices. Abortion, parenting, or adoption. You should research all three to decide what is best for YOU! Personally I could never give my babies up for adoption. I could probably have an abortion though it would never be my first option. I chose to be pregnant and I chose to parent. I had fincial support whenever I need it from my father. So I know I can provide for my kids.

If you did have an abortion and your friends asked what happened to the pregnancy you could tell a white lie and say you miscarriaged. If you give the baby up for adoption some might shun you. If you parent depending on your age you might be looked at as a welfare mom even if you aren't.

I would regret giving up my children. That is why I have not. I know my strengths and my weaknesses. I always wanted children since I could remember. But you are the one that has to live with the decision. Not us and not your friends.

Riot Rocker

I don't regret it at all.

I did what was best for my baby. I can't provide or guarantee stability to my son, but his new family can.

Abortion doesn't make you not a mother, it makes you the mother of a dead baby.

Gaia Raain II

The best thing for your child is what nature intended. Keep your baby. You will fall in love with your baby, because that's what you're designed to do. Your baby will fall in love with you, and will be expecting you to care for him, because that is what he is designed to do. He will know if you disappear suddenly. He knows your scent, your movements, your emotions, the way you walk, your voice, your mannerisms. If he is given to a complete stranger after spending 9 months with you, it will traumatize him. Often, this trauma stays with the adoptee throughout their lives. Please don't do that to your baby. Your baby deserves to be raised by his Mama.

Possum

Adoption is a long term solution to a short term problem.
You owe your baby to no one - but you.
AND - to be totally honest - your baby wants YOU - not a family of genetic strangers.

Sadly you live in a country where adoption rates are out of control - simply because you have too many people who want babies but can't have their own (that's not YOUR problem) - with too much money - trying to steal away other peoples babies to fulfil their own needs.
In a word - they're more worried about themselves - than you.
They want a child - and you have just what they desire.

Make sure you read this -
http://www.cubirthparents.org/booklet.pdf

Unless you intend to harm your child (highly unlikely) - then please just get on with parenting your child.
Your child can't speak up - but this is what your child wants.
It's a confusing life living with a family you never asked for - all to play pretend. I know - I've live it for almost 40 years.
I was lucky - I got a loving adoptive family - but their are NO guarantees - and no amount of riches makes up for losing your mother.
I know many adoptees that ended up in abusive homes.

Go out there are be the best mother you can be.
You have inside you all you need.
I wish you well.

Carol c

I love the way the people here who never lost a child to adoption insist that there is nothing to regret. They claim to know more than those of us whose lives were torn apart because we were made to believe that it was for the best or even forced to surrender our child to other people. Yes, you will regret it til the day you die.

I did. I lost my son in 1966 - reunited with him in 1990 and still mourn all that I lost by not being able to raise him. There is plenty of research out there which is published and being taught in women's studies classes that proves that most mothers not only never get over the loss, but now know that had they just had the support of family and friends instead of being encouraged to surrender because they would never make it; there is no way they would have surrendered their parental rights. I've always believed that when you want advice, ask people who have experience in a subject. Often PAP's and adopters will marginalize your feelings because they want babys. Of course they're going to tell you that you won't regret it giving your child up, but does that even make sense?
They have nothing to lose and everything to gain by trying to convince a woman that she can easily get over the loss of her child.

As far as abortion, sorry but I don't think there is any comparison. One has nothing to do with the other and I believe in a woman's right to choose. It's easier to deal with the grief of ending a pregnancy than knowing there is a live human being out there in the world who is your child and you don't know if he is even alive and well.

I always ask people who insist adoption is best whether they would give up their own child, just because someone tells them to. You should listen to your heart.

hgg717

I do not regret it at all. It was hard. Dont get me wrong I loved my baby but that is why I choose life for him and gave him the best life he could have. Each day it gets easier. I would not change my decision. he is happy and healthy we are both able to grow and learn in a positive way.

Get some counseling it helped me sooo much to make the decision that was best for my baby. Cause I am sorry but its not about you anymore its about that baby.

Itsaboutlove.org offers free counseling and adoptive services.

urbanfarmhouse

I KNEW IT - I can smell a pro-abortion rally a mile away....self-centered, agenda driven garbage in the guise of "if you really loved your baby you would kill it" - really, and how long does that philosophy extend into child hood?...my four year old is on my last nerve today, should I throw him out the car window because it's best for all of us, meaning, of course, me? That's the logical conclusion of such a ridiculous argument. You people are frightening.

Asker PLEASE do not look for answers on this forum - I honestly thought these people were joking when I read some of the comments.
And then I realized, no, they're serious, and bitter, and mean-spirited, and hate happy families. I am so sad that they had such terrible adoption experiences, but if you're over the age of 23 and are still hating on your parents, adoptive or otherwise, the problem is yours, not theirs. Obsession with self has very nasty consequences.

I would strongly encourage you to speak with people who will tell you with clear language and pure motives about all aspects of adoption. What hurts now and what you'll later regret aren't necessarily the same thing. Sometimes the most worthwhile things are the most painful. Don't confuse that natural uncertainty with lack of love for your baby. It's there, or you wouldn't be looking for answers. By the way, until I was assaulted by the bitterness of this crowd, I have never in 42 years met a family that regretted their adoption decision - birthparents, adoptive parents, or the children involved. I am a strong believer that that there are two sides to every story, and am not surprised that not all adoptions are happy, and some are even tragic. As is true with "natural" families. I am also a believer that people who can't express an argument without foaming at the mouth usually have ulterior motives. That being said, gathering information from clergy, medical professionals, community members, etc about adoption and about the potential of keeping your sweet baby. I believe children are better off in a two parent home with some level of stability. You will find other, well-educated, right-hearted people who don't necessarily agree with that philosophy (my reasons are for another answer group, maybe we can chat there someday). My point is, don't be bullied by a bunch of people to do ANYTHING....listen carefully to your own thoughts and intuition. Very best wishes. You're a good mom regardless of which decision you make, as long as you come to the decision in love, not in fear.

Jaxon

ofcourse they do- that's why they say they were coreced. they need an excuse now that they're older and wiser and can parent a child. make the right decision for you now. don't try to blame it on anyone else later.

Brenna

I have never once regreted giving my child up, thats not to say that I dont miss him because i do and I think about him often, it was all the love that I did have for him that drove me to follow through with placing him for adoption, it is the hardest thing I ever had to do in my life and it effected me for a very very very very long time, but I know in my heart that it was the right thing to do. it is a beautiful inmeasurable gift

zipadedodazipadea

Please don't ask that question here. As Iâ€™ve learned today, this section is filled with very bitter people and you can't verify their motives.

When I read this much celebration of death it makes me question if these women are really birth mothers or just rabid Pro Abortion nutcases. I am adopted and I can't think of anything that would make me so disgusted about my genes from my birth mother than if I found out she was on a site like this - talking young women into abortion. It is a twisted action that will end in death. How sick is it that these women will celebrate talking you into abortion in place of the most selfless, beautiful act that a woman can do in life. Not one you want to face but one that you choose life instead of death for an innocent child.

Full disclosure: I am a male but I do have a dog in this fight. I am adopted and I have an adopted son who just turned 21 months. He is the joy of my life and I had the privilege of meeting his birthmother and to tell her that I was awed by her decision. It is what I would tell any birthmother. I am also ProLife. This comes from my background as an adopted child, watching my son since he was about 1 week old and the blessing of meeting his birthmother.

It also comes from a lifetime of looking at the question. I am not strongly religious but I do believe in good, evil and logic. I come from this logically and what it means to be human. Itâ€™s hard not to dump the whole argument on you.

Let me ask you the question that closed any acceptance of the Pro-Abortion argument for me when I was about 17 (as if the whole adoption didnâ€™t do that before I heard this explanation).

Think of the person you love the most in the world. Say they fell into a coma and the doctor came to you and said they had seen this before. Your loved one will be in a coma for 9 months (on feeding and breathing tubes) and then they will come out of it. They will be awake but will need a huge amount of physical therapy and wonâ€™t even be able to feed themselves. They will need constant attention and it will be 4 or 5 years until you can even turn your back on them for a second. At about 12 years old, there will be a flush of hormones that will change their personality. Oh yeah, I forgot to mention, it will be like that year or two around the second year when you will want to strangle them. Eventually, after 19 or 20 years, you will have the person you love back.

Tell me how you would react to someone taking away the feeding and breathing tubes because your loved one is just â€œpotential lifeâ€ in everyone elseâ€™s eyes? Logically, is there any difference between their potential life and a baby in the womb besides your familiarity and history with the person? Does your familiarity and history make logical criteria for worth of life when a baby born will make its own history and relationships just like your loved one?

It always amazes me that the Pro-Abortion crowd can state their case of â€œchoiceâ€ but Prolife is always categorized as not appropriate or propaganda. Watch the responses on this site and you can feel the hate. It is as if they have rotted out from the inside and are just pretending to still be human. Anyone that would chant for a woman to get an abortion is like someone chanting for a person on a building to jump just to see a death. It is sick.

I wish you the best! If you decide to give your baby up to a loving family who can take great care of him/her and will love your baby as their own, you will have shown incredible maturity and love in that act. It sounds like you are surrounded by loving people that understand the value of life. Donâ€™t be swayed by the haters on this site.

Marina

I don't think that people regret it, otherwise they wouldn't have done it in the first place. They may think "what if", but I think that's as far as it goes.

"I'm scared that I'll really start loving my child" is a scary statement.

Jaded

Most of the people in this section do, but remember they don't represent everyone-just a bitter few. Go to some adoption agency's websites and read a few stories. Giving up your baby is the most loving and unselfish thing you can do. You will be giving this child to a couple who want a child more than anything and are ready for it, financially, spiritually, and emotionally. You need to get in touch with a counsler and representative from an adoption agency. They an help.

Downz

I am now 58 years old and @18 i gave up a baby girl.as i was heading up the elevateer i just announce to the nurse i am giving up my baby,no one was there while i was in labor my mother dropped me off at the hospital door .on her birth certificate was my name and her name was on as baby my last namethe next day the welfare people gave me papers to sign and that was the end of it.but for me it all started the worry and anziety i felt and still do wonder if i am a grandmother or was she ok growing up my daughter tried to search ofr her but that was a dead end,if anyone has info how to look up baby gone for adoption please help me in New Hampshire thank you and for any one thinking about adoption for there baby think hare because as you get older so does the adoption love to all moms that choose to keep there babies

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