Do I need my ex's permission for adoption by by new partner?

I have a 11 year old daughter with my ex and he is a horrible man. He cannot hold down any job and he doesn't want do. He has a violent and criminal past, present and probably future and he takes little interest in my daughter. He turns up for her when he feels like it, and when he does come she sometimes returns crying because he didn't keep the promises to take her swimming or to the park etc and he has just sat around drinking with his friends. I don't want her to see him at all but believe it's her choice and let her make her own mind up. But recently I found out that he had been stealing while she was in his care and I was distraught. I am going to stop his contact. We were never married and he has a string of criminal records. I also now have twin 4 year olds with a new partner and another baby on the way with him. He treats my kids and my daughter brilliantly and is always there for them. He treats them, buys them things, takes them all out and plays with them. We go on holidays together and days out etc and he adores my daughter like his own. What i want to know is if my new partner was to adopt my daughter, would my ex be able to contest this even if he has no PR? We live in the UK so I need the UK law please. He loves to ruin my life so there's no chance of him saying yes, I just want this man out of my and my daughters life.

Thanks
Additional Details
by the way he is not on the birth certificate as he did not turn up for the registration! does this make a difference?

ron

Sadly you do need his permission if it's his name on the birth certificate, the good news however if he does not give his consent you can take him to court and all things considered you should have no problem with your new partner adopting your daughter.

I would get legal advice as soon as possible, if you can't afford it try one of the free legal advice websites like this one>http://www.rightsofwomen.org.uk/

Cool Hal

For Gods sake do not listen to those that say if he is not on the Birth Certificate than your partner can adopt your child.

Do you think he wont find out? Even if contact is sporadic at best when he next asks for contact what are you going to say?

BUT MORE IMPORTANTLY YOUR DAUGHTER WANTS A RELATIONSHIP WHIT HIM!!!!

You state in your question that whilst you dont want her to see him you believe that it is her choice - well doesn't adoption take away that choice, and if it doesn't and he still remains in contact what have you achieved.

As someone who is adopted and not in contact with my Bio parents I (like many other adoptees) still feel something is missing - do you want that for your daughter

Jasmine x

DO NOT bribe him!!! I am only 13 myself but have been studying law for a about a year because I want to be a barrister when I'm older. He would just take the money and say you didn't give him any, and even if you did contest and say you did it isn't a very proffessional thing to bring up in court. You do need his permission if he is on your daughters birth certificate and considering he would protest for the adoption you would need to take him to court and argue why it would benefit your daughter by being adopted with someone who already lives with you/her. Keep him sweet, but don't bribe him and think of your daughter's best intrest when you get annoyed or angry with him! Good luck :)

Best Wishes, Ellie xxx

pickle

wow your going through what im going through!I posted the question on here ages ago and basically everybody seemed to be against me for it!!! my ex is a violent alcoholic and he doesnt want to know his son.I wasnt getting very far with the adoption side of things.I have a new partner who i have 2 children with and he has one of his own so we have four altogether and he treats my son as his own,my son chose to call him dad and he also chooses to call his real dad by his first name.There is no way his real dad will give permission for the adoption,so my son asked if he could change his last name,at first i was told i needed his permision so i asked and to put it nicely he wasnt happy,but i found out through the deed poll i could do it without his permision cause the law changed in 2003,before that the father has less rights.So i changed my sons last name without his real fathers permission.I was also told that if i could take his real father to court then my partner would probaly be able to adopt my son becuse of the track record of his real father and of how my son feels.Im leaving it at the name change for now as my son is abs over the moon with his new name.Please seek legal advice before you go ahead and do anything,i should have done.

Mommy times 2!

Yes. He has as much right to his child as you do.

pink! pink! pink! :x) (stacey g)

i think you have to yes. the best thing you can do is get in contact with a solicitor or social services. hope this helps good luck. x

take a look at this website:
http://www.direct.gov.uk/en/index.htm

lilbabyadam

Hi, we are actually in the process of my partner adopting my son in the UK too. Luckily, have no problems with his birth father and he is happy with the adoption. However, if you contact your local Adoption and Fostering department within the Social Services, they will send you a booklet out with all the guidelines and information you need about step-parent adoption. Then you can contact them with any questions. I think, he doesn't have to actually give permission, but if he doesn't then you may have to court. However, with him not having PR then that might not be right. Anyway, the court would not look kindly on his criminal record, and everything they do is in the child's best interests. One of their main concerns is that the child knows what is happening, that they are getting adopted etc, they won't do it otherwise, so it will be good for you that your daughter does know. Also, as your daughter is 11, what they will do is ask her what she wants, and they are very likely to go with her decision at her age. What you really need to make sure you do when talking to social services, is emphasise the points about your daughter and her best interests, because they won't do adoption if they think it is just something you think you and your partner should do. Also, the step-parent adoption booklet they will send you has all the alternatives in if the adoption can't happen, such as her step-father getting PR, or residency, or special guardianship. All of these steps (and adoption) can take a while, as they are classed as low priority, obviously compared to child abuse etc, but if you explain your situation that you are worried about her father's contacts etc, then they may class it as further up. Please ring them first thing Monday morning, they are really good and will sort all of this out for you.

EDIT: Don't pay for any legal advice until you have seen social services and got info from them, then you'll know exactly what you're talking about and what you can do, and will be cheaper!

Dory

My son and his wife had exactly this problem with her son from a previous relationship. He couldn't adopt him without the fathers consent. As he had no contact and they didn't want him to know where they lived, because of his violence, they changed the child's name by deed poll, through a solicitor. As far as they were concerned it was the only option open to them without getting the birth father involved. Now they are a loving family unit with all of them having the same surname.

Edit: I really don't think bribery is an option. once you have given him money once he can come back for more and you will never be rid of him.

mfsf2006

if he is not on the birth certificate then no you dont need concent

diamonds

if the natural father's name is on the birth certificate you will need his permission even if he is a low life cretin....well that's how he sounds from what you say.

you know what i'd do?? i would offer him a bribe of money to allow the adoption to go through...he sounds horrible & desperate and so i reckon he might take the bait with that....i know you shouldn't have to do it...but it might work!

edit: agree with Tinkerbell totally....sorry Tinks didn't see your answer...wasn't copying...but a bribe might work!!

tinkerbell

Is his name on her birth certificate ???
If it is then you would need permission from him.
If you offered him a bribe would he take it ????? Either that you'll have to be all nicey nicey to get him to agree.

EDIT............... Where there's a will there's a way !!!!

wow i sure hope you can!! i don't have a clue about uk law (sorry), but here in the us i know that the biological father has to sign over his rights. either way good luck with this your daughter deserves better!!

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