Do Natural Mothers have the right to search? Should they?

PhilM

Legally, they have the right to search (at least in most states - there may be an exception, but if so, I don't know what it is).

I do think, morally, they have the right to search. Adoptees no more have the right to anonymity than parents.

The same caveat applies to both: No one has the right to a relationship with another person.

But as I've said repeatedly, if there is no right to search (for either party) than the phone company should not be allowed to publish phone books. We don't have the right not to be bothered.

amyburt40

Heck yes they do but you know that I feel that way anyway. I was skimming through a book that I requested from my library by E. Wayne Carp. It is called Family Matters. It was interesting all through adoption history that mothers were never allowed to know anything about their child. After reading the short bit, I was stunned. The mothers and fathers were kept intentionally in the dark. If they just needed financial support through the orphanage, the social workers and admin folks from the orphanage illegally placed their children. Now the adoptive parents and the adoptees were not supposed to have been denied information. This goes way back. Its very interesting and I am looking forward to reading it.

Theresa

Yes, of course they have the right, and I believe they should.

The harder question is, how to reach out to the mothers who think they don't have the right; especially the ones without internet access, or who may not know how to search.

Heather B

Last time I checked Freedom of Association applied to everyone.

Personally I would have been thrilled if my first Mom had searched and found me.

Oh wait, she did search but they told her pretty much what you describe in your question - it was like "go away, lady" (even though they knew full-well I had a letter waiving confidentiality on file with them) even after the State registry was established, they omitted to inform her of it's existence so she thought it was just hopeless.

Benny

I think if you want to search then search. I bet the baby you gave up for adoption may be looking for you too. Wouldn't it be wonderful if you were to reunite after all these years. I bet the child would like to know you too. I sure would like to know who my bio-mom was and/or bio-dad. I have a lot of medical problems and they are all hereditary so I would really like to know what is instore for me as I get older. By the way I am 39 years young. So search and good luck

Shelly P. Tofu, E.M.T.

I think they should have the right to locate their child, let the child know of their existence and desire for contact. Then, stop and let the adoptee decide how or if to proceed with reunion, and respect that decision, keeping doors open for changed minds. But I think that as much as possible, they should follow the adoptees lead.

If firstparents weren't allowed to do that, many adoptees who want reunion might not know how to find them, or wrongly think their firstparents don't want reunion.

anastasia beaverhausen-the real1

i absolutely think they have every right in the world.

this same topic came up on the adult adoptees board and i was clear that if my mother had searched and found me before i found her, i might not have been very happy about it.

however- i do still believe they have every right to their child.

NH-Adoptee

I do Think that they Have the right to search but I also think that they should have to wait until the child is 18 before initiating Contact!
I would have loved it if my First mom looked for me, But that is just me!

mom lost 66

a mother and child that are separated by adoption have every right
in the world to search a mother wants to know if her child is ok.
All my life I wondered if my child was alive or dead.
I was warned by the agency back in the 60's that I had no right to search but I didn't listen to see your child is a blessing
smaac
ems

adoption the trauma that keeps on giving

Freckle Face

Dear Sly,

It seems like a no brainer here.

YES! and YES!

I have so much to learn. Thank you for shedding light on these horrible past practices and educating the rest of us in the process:)

myst1998

Yes, they have the right to search. Afterall, signing a piece of paper doesn't remove the fact you are always a mother to that child regardless of what a piece of man-made law states. Nature intended you to be a mother and so you are a mother to the day you die, regardless of whether or not that child remains with you. Which is why adoption is so cruel.

sam22254

Yea they have the right but do you really think that the adopted couples are going to help them. And most of the birth mother's aren't going to tell them who their father was anyways. i have met alot of adoptee's that found their natural mother but still don't know who their father was and where he is sad isn't it.

Enter Your Message or Comment

User Name:
User Email:
Post a comment: