Do PAPS here see adult adoptees that are?

Gaia Raain

I'm not sure if I'm on the right track here, but here's what I think I'm seeing:

Adult adoptees have a lot of issues pressing at them that tend to be combined by society in general (AP's, PAP's, "the system", other adoptees, and on and on). For instance, an adoptee who wants to see reform, and who dislikes the system, can be linked with someone who "had a bad experience". Those are two separate issues. Those adoptees who point out that there is pain involved in adoption are told the same thing - they just "had a bad experience". I wonder what people think when they read the many, various ways that adoptees point out that, no, they did NOT have a bad experience, they love their AP's, their AP's were once PAP's, and that they are NOT the enemy. That negates the entire argument that society is trying to make agianst changing the system, and leaves nothing...no excuses, no easy explanations...just a broken system. Strip away the cobwebs, and you find out that adoptees are regular people who have been crapped on by the law, and by a society that is extremely apathetic to the effect those laws have on these ordinary, average, well-adjusted, apple-pie people we call adoptees. (And I point out the "average-ness" of adoptees because adoptees are victims of discrimination. Society tends to view discrimination as "ok" as long as the group that is being discriminated against is somehow "different".)

I could be totally on the wrong track here, but...yeah, I see most adoptees as angry with the system, and with the people who buy into it, lock, stock, and barrell, with no intention of trying to figure out the other side of the story - i.e. what it feels like to be an adoptee.

IDK!!

NO, but I feel that many think I am (or was) an enemy, just because I am an Amom.

Hell, I'm not an adoptee, and I'M angry at the system!!!!
Duh, I just saw that tist is to PAPs, not APs. Oops.

LaurieDB

I'm neither, but I just want to say that I hope that to be the case. I do not see AP/PAP's as the enemy. After all, I was adopted by PAP's who then became AP's ;-)

I have a number of good friends who are AP's.

It's really the system -- the bureaucracy of adoption and the discriminatory laws -- that is the enemy here. Those not involved in adoption often develop ideas and beliefs that are not helpful to those in adoption. I believe that this is, in part, due to what the media/system puts out about adoption.

ETA:
I reread the question, and apparently I read it wrong the first time. I'll let it stand anyway.
Thanks!

Cam

No. I don't view anyone here as an enemy. And I don't think it's only adult adoptees who are angry at the system.

ETA: Huh? Little confused about that. Guess I'll take a break!

opedial

Are you asking if we feel angry adoptees are the enemy or if the system is the enemy?

I don't see people who are angry at issues affecting their own lives as the enemy. I do take offense to people who see me as a PAP as an enemy. Its when anger is personalized against me for being an adoptive parent that I get well defensive.

But for an enemy, heck no I would like changes in the system as well as adult adoptees, but truthfully without eloquent adult adoptees I woudl not know what the issues are. (so thanks!)

Sophie

certainly not an enemy, no

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