Do adopted kids have more severe problems than others?

sunny

Yes, we have higher rates of depression, suicide, and we are 17 times more likely than the general population to be a serial killer. (Proof in link attached).

Why? Because growing up adopted is an unhealthy way to live. Given up by your clan without any knowledge of who they are, why you were given away, where your qualities came from, placed (with zero control) in a family of strangers to be raised/trying to fit in with another clan, have experienced a PROFOUND loss that no one acknowledges--instead telling you to be grateful that you were taken in/not aborted, etc. Then when you finally get the guts to search, most state governments will not allow it/make you feel like a criminal for wanting information about your own origin. Also, perfect strangers make you feel greedy for wanting/needing to have information that most people have.

Is that enough?

I know of two adopted men in their 40s (both relatives of friends) who have met with tragic ends this week. One was a suicide, the other on trial for murder--drug deal gone bad. Beyond sad.

http://crimemagazine.com/07/adoptionforensics,0919-7.htm

Problem Child

Yes, I do think this is true. When I was in therapy in my teens, the therapist (who worked only with teen girls) told my parents that almost all her patients were adopted (infant adoptions, not foster care) and that adoptees are disproportionately represented in the mental healthcare system.

That's not to say that all adoptees will have problems, or that non-adoptees don't have problems (I say that because there is always some one who says, "but lots of non-adopted people have emotional problems!). But adoptees do have psychological problems at a higher rate that non-adoptees.

People often mistakingly think that infant adoptions will not have any problems but this is simply not true. Being taken from your natural mother and brought up in a family of strangers can be psychologically traumatic. Even though the person cannot remember their first mother, the trauma of being taken from her causes deep trust issues and shapes that persons interactions with their world for the rest of their life.

Andraya

If a child lost their family due to a tragic accident would you question the reasons behind their emotional instability or behavioural issues? I doubt many would.

Adoptees go through exactly the same thing with one big difference, their families are alive, they still don't see or know them (closed adoption).

Heather B

They have the same problems but magnified.

For example, everyone goes through a kind of identity crisis in adolesence - can you imagine how magnified that is for someone who doesn't know who they are or where they came from

celtic.piskie

*Grrrrrrrrrr......*

I'm 23 for feths sake, not a kid....

Most of us, are, at the base of it, unwanted.

In society everywhere, there's all this stuff about a mothers' love, how women absolutely and always care for and love their children forever, mothers are perfect, so much emphasis placed on the mother bond.

How would you feel if your mother abandoned you?
Someone had you for 9 months inside them, saw you on the scans, gave birth to you, and then didn't want you.

I can't speak for anyone else, but what did I do wrong at such a young age that she didn't want me?

Mothers are portrayed as always loving their children, never doing anything bad, always there for you blah blah blah...
Yet ours, ours chose to give us away.

At the base of it all, we've got major rejection issues, trust problems, and self hatred, because if mothers are so perfect, then it must be our fault?

My birth mother died when I was 10 days old,

I was then adopted and sent back when they had their children. I was then kicked out for being bi.

Wouldn't you have problems?

Zuko

I personally had my own emotional problems as a kid that had absolutely nothing to do with being adopted.

I was lucky enough to have parents willing and able to address my issues. I wonder if my birth mother would have taken the same action. I can't answer that because I haven't met her yet!

It's food for thought though. Maybe it doesn't have as much to do with them being adopted as the people who are adopting. I know that my mom had to go through emotional counseling after finding out she would never be able to conceive... so she held no stigma or bias against seeking psychiatric help or counseling when you have problems. I also have a friend who was taught by her parents that seeking the same kind of help is a sign of weakness and that you should work out your own problems.

Again, just food for thought.

Another statistic that needs to be taken into account... how many of these adopted kids with severe problems have spent time in the system? Foster care can be brutal... ESPECIALLY if you're an older child. Bouncing from foster home to foster home to group home to group home doesn't create a very stable home life... that could also be the cause of those particular statistics.

Gaia Raain

Maybe because the person they grew inside abandoned them? Just a wild, crazy guess. (And it doesn't matter what the reason was for the abandonment - she could have had the best intentions in the world - it still translates to abandonment to many adoptees.)

Nurse Jacqui

There are a lot of good points being made in the answers here! It is traumatic for a child to seperate from their biological parent, period. Children that have been adopted will have to deal with that! It is true that it is more likely for adoptive parents to seek outside help than biological parents, which we can attribute to successful pre-adoption education! Adoptive parents are being taught to seek outside help when it is needed. Mental health and behavioral problems still have a negative stigma related to them in most cultures which will prohibit many people that need help from getting it!

Something that needs to be considered is that many of the adults today that were adopted as children were adopted in a "closed adoption," where they were not given ANY info about their biological parents! That was the trend for their generation (open adoptions are much more common now)! It is traumatic for a child to seperate from their biological parent, period. Add on top of that the inability to learn anything about their origins as a teen (when they are establishing their identitiy) and you absolutely have a recipe for emotional disaster! All children which were adopted will have to deal with that at some point. Not being given the information to proces it properly should be a crime! Every child has the right to know where they came from and how they got there (no matter how ugly that may be)!

MamaKate

Lots of children and adults suffer all kinds of mental and emotional problems. I think adoption ADDS to any issues that may have already been and can create them all by itself if not.

ETA: I didn't say in EVERY case!

Independ"ant"

I think more studies need to be done on it asap. If adoption is more detrimental for a child, alternative ways to keep the children with the biological parents will be forced to be addressed even if we have to dip into tax money.

Jennifer L

The problem with statistics like this is that they don't break down the demographics, as in how many were adopted from foster care, how many were adopted as infants, how many adopted as older children, how many adopted from overseas, etc.

There are some commonalities with any kind of adoption, the most obvious being the loss of the biological parents, which every adoptee must face.

But it's also fair to say that someone (adoptee or not) that had a history of abuse/neglect will need to utilize those services more than someone who didn't experience abuse/neglect. Same thing with drug/alcohol exposure in utero. Or someone that suffered some significant trauma in their past. Or someone that came from a different culture without prior education at all.

The above situations apply equally to adoptees and non-adoptees, but sometimes (especially in abuse/neglect situations) a child isn't connected to those emotional support resources until after the adoption.

Toni

Studies show that adoptive families are more likely to seek "outside" help than biological families. This might be the result of the training that adoptive and foster families are required to participate in prior to placement of a child in their home. Adoptive and foster families are specifically trained to seek help for behaviors where many biological families fall under the belief that problems are private.

Renee King

I do believe children adopted out of foster care may also be the issue. Usually this children have suffered abuse, neglect, etc. Therefore they are behind other's there own age.

ellen s

Because they don't break the things down. How many were adopted from infints, and how many from foster care. I know I was adopted from newborn, and am in the top of my claas now, going into 9th grade, and am in very good shape emotionally. I love people have tons of friends and bond with people easily. I would guess that most of the children have been in foster care and adopted after living through h*ll for most of there lives. After adopting me, my parents became foster parents, and these children do have issues with forming bonds and friends because they are so used to being drug here and there and getting beat and everything else.

Faraima

Most adopted kids (actually, adoption does not define who they are. Use "kids who have been adopted") do just fine. The ones that have the most problems tend to have been adopted at a later age, and have been exposed to who knows what kind of crap in their birthfamily situations, or foster care. Also, parents who adopt tend to be really on the ball and eager to help their kids with whatever problems and issues, and would put them in good programs to help them.

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