Do adoption agencies take advantage of bad situations?

grapesgum

Is the Pope Catholic? Yes, of course, adoption agencies take advantage of difficult situations. They took advantage of this father, they take advantage of frightened young kids, and they take advantage of low income single AND married parents-to-be.

One could also ask why agencies have to lie, break the law, recruit "birth" mothers at colleges and high schools, and advertise, advertise, advertise? The product that they sell is hard to come by these days. The generation who lived through the horrors of adoption in the baby scoop era of forced adoptions are the grandmas and grandpas of today who say "Hell no, my family is not for sale." The baby scoop generation is saying a resounding "NO" to adoption because they know the loss - they know the horror of losing a family member because they lost one or they have close friends who lost one.

So ... adoption agencies have to take advantage of bad situations to get babies to sell.

Ideas to combat this? Break them financially with class action law suits. Parents who have had their rights violated by agency XXX, need to sue the hell out of agency XXX by getting together and pooling their voices and resources. It cannot be done individually. It was via class action law suits that women and minorities got justice from big businesses.

Lori A

He's going to need to get before a judge, that p[robably means an attorney. I would look into suing the agency and the mother.

sunny

Adoption agencies are not about preserving families.

They only make money when they "place" (sell) children to "waiting families".

They have skewed priorities, but most of society seems to agree with them.

birthdad in hell

A sticky situation indeed. The paternity registry or punitave father rageistry is a sham but filing does give ground to argue with. First he has to refuse no matter what the agency wants sign NOTHING. secondly he has to find out where his child is. paying some form of support will make his position stronger but give nothing to the agency. an attorney and a drawn out court battle is the only way he has a chance. I would advise media coverage whether it is local news, newspapers or national before going to see a judge. once in the court i can almost gaurantee a gag order to hide his situation from the public.
It does cost $$$. I found out 6 days before my daughter was born and have been fighting since. I'm close to $130,000 into the fight and it's going on 2 yrs. now. Best of luck to him hope he's serious i've met several dads on the web and though they talk the talk thats all they do is talk. I only know one other dad other than myself that has stepped up and walked through the gates of hell to fight for his child. it is a long hard fight and the emotional carnage he will go through is something he must consider. Once you step up there is no turning around. anything i can do let me know.

Possum

Absolutely adoption agencies take advantage of bad situations.

Without a doubt.

They want babies - to make money - and most don't give a stuff about the methods they use to get their product.

This is an excerpt of a blog from a mother that lost a child to adoption in the last few years -

"I was sixteen and pregnant. Frightened and so confused. I remember the pamphlet my school nurse handed me. Pregnant? Confused? We understand. We can help you decide which option is best for you and your baby. I needed that. An adult who would comfort me, help me and not judge. Blindly I walked into the adoption agency, seeking help, information, and my life was never the same. They used my age and my emotions for their own gain. Their offered comfort came with one agenda in mind - to make sure I chose adoption for my unborn baby. I walked in their doors as an unknowing, trusting child. I walked out as a battered mother who lost more than she could ever imagine."

People try to keep saying that this stuff doesn't happen anymore - that it all happened in the dark ages of adoption in the USA.

Wrong.

Adoption is BIG - we're talking multi billion dollar - business for the adoption agencies right now.
They will stoop to any level.
Including having all the power within the government to keep records sealed - along with all the truth.

It's wrong.
And people will continue to suffer.
But - in their ivory towers - they don't really give a damn about the little people.

Lillie

An adoption agency? Unethical?

*gasp* No way!

TotalRecipeHound

As long as legislators and judiciary folks support these crooks, it will continue. The father shouldn't have to fight to get his child and he shouldn't have to PROVE anything (except paternity), any more than the mother has to prove anything. It is his child.

LaraSue

It's "putative" not punitive.

Starlight

He should hire a really good attorney.

Reachable

He should act now before it's too late

cmc

This sounds abusive, but seems extreme to me, but maybe it happens more often than I think. I agree the AA is wrong, but the woman is totally negligent too if she just lets others make decisions for her. I know you said she's a drug addict, but that doesn't mean she's not responsible for what happened.

Also I think there are good agencies and bad agencies - just like most things in life. I think if I told this story to the people at our agency they would be very shocked. While getting the story about my daughter's mom in the first few discussions with her there was some confusion about the father. They were really strict that we had to have the truth about the natural father because otherwise the adoption could be at risk. Also I know another situation where they were involved and the father did not support the adoption - basically they said that nothing could be done unless he changed his mind. I'm not saying bad things don't happen, I'm just saying there are ethical agencies too.

sizesmith

Most states have a punitive father registry, where the father should register at the clerk's office at the county courthouse where the child was born, possibly where he lives, check local laws. Most states have a time limit on it, such as after the birth of the child until so many days. Our state (Arkansas) is 10 days, the same as consent for adoption. Some states have a longer period of time. If he registers as the father, and the time limit has passed, and she has signed consent to adopt forms, he just has to get the police (possibly through child protective services) to go get the child. Immediately, he should send a registered letter to the adoption agency stating to them that he wants his child, that the child was taken away from him, that he was not aware when the child was born, and that they will be responsible for his legal fees to get the child back. My prayers are for him, and I wish people would be more responsible for birth control so things like this wouldn't happen!

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