Do agency's/Aps mislead Paps to believe that adoption is a "right" or is it something they just...?

Bodhi

Oh my gosh, no. It's the highest privilege we could ever have, and boy oh boy was that made clear to us throughout the entire homestudy process and beyond. Even if you went into it thinking it was your right, the homestudy alone ought to wipe that right from your mind... being investigated and interviewed and fingerprinted by the FBI and providing references and being tested for diseases and whatnot - no, it is definitely not a "right".

It's made very, very clear that you are being entrusted with a human life and all that goes with that responsibility, for the rest of your life. Not just a baby - a child, a pre-teen, a teenager, paying for college, etc. When you sit there during those interviews, and after, and during the process, and imagine yourself in that role, you can't help but feel so incredibly grateful that you would even be in the position to be able to do this, let alone that someone else would think you could do it too.

It's the most humbling thing I can think of, in the best way.

kitta

Agencies do mislead. They call PAPs "waiting parents" when they do not have any children.
Or, they may say..."there is a child out there for you"...

SJM

Parenting is a right. That's why, in cases of child abuse, people lose their parental rights. In cases of adoption, the government transfers the parental rights that originally belonged to someone else to the paps.

As for the 'right to adopt', I think the agencies intentionally mislead. The times I've seen it, it's packaged as some sort of pursuit of happiness thing. Of course, these are the same agencies who will deny this happy pursuit to applicants for the inability to fork over handfuls of money.

Lori A

I'm not sure they address it as a right as much as they do trying to get as much for their clients buck as possible.

I noticed another poster brought up the two party system, again. lol

Jennifer L

I think that the "adoption is a right" idea is being promoted by the celebrity adoptions that become exceptions to the process.

Madonna is a prime example. Malawi has an international adoption process. It requires a lengthy in-country wait time, does not allow single parents to adopt, etc. There are lots of other countries with similar programs.

Yet, Madonna got around the wait time. She is trying to get around the single parent requirement.

It's perpetuating the idea that the rules don't *really* apply, because nothing should stand in the way of what she wants... especially something as pesky as the law.

That sentiment is echoed by other incidents: the people convicted of child trafficking in Chad and the incident in Egypt. And over the blogs of lots of PAPs decrying the increased regulations put in place to protect the children, as Satan trying to stop their adoption.

The Lauren

Ahh THOSE people. Gross. I honestly dont know how they come to that conclusion. Desperation is a nasty thing though and when people are desperate they will say/think/do things that dont make sense. Parenting is a beautiful privelage and those who think otherwise would probably make better parents if they realized that.

Shelly P. Tofu, E.M.T.

Parenting PERIOD is never a "right" it's a privilege..

Parenting is a DESIRE and DREAM for me.. one which I won't be giving up as long as there are children who need homes.

Wundt

I don't know anyone who thinks it is a 'right'.

Most people I know understand that you must show you will be good parents and that if you cannot, then you likely will not be able to adopt. However, that doesn't mean people shouldn't do everything they can to show that they will make good parents or complain (and look for alternatives) if they feel the social workers are being unfair.

Edit - I think Jennifer has it right. If there are people who feel it is a 'right', they represent exeptions, not the norm. This question and the ire it represents should be directed at those individuals, and not PAPs in general.

furfur

Couldn't have put it any better than Shelly!

BLW_KAM

Our agency didn't mislead us. They were clear about natural parents changing their minds, about commitment to open adoption, and about how the selection process worked. It felt less like a "right" and more like a "crap shoot".

It's delusional for anyone to think they have the right to someone else's child. That's just nuts.

icehockeymom7

I can only speak for myself, and I have never believed that adoption was my right. I think sometimes when people struggle with infertility, they feel that a basic human "right" of reproduction has been taken from them. So, there may be some people who then transfer that and believe that adopting a baby is then their "right". I don't personally believe that at all. What I do believe, however, is that every child has a right to be in a loving family. That is where I feel that adoption is a right....it is the right of every child to have loving parents. So if for whatever reason, a child's natural parents are not going to play that role, that child deserves adoption. I don't see it as a right for AP's, but rather a right for children who do not have families.

Yarr

Lol how can someone see adoption as a 'right'? There are children to be adopted when women put them up for adoption or have them taken away due to neglect. No women are going to pop out kids just to give them to other people no matter how much other people may want kids.

cathrl69

You can't use logic to argue someone out of a position they didn't reach by logic. I don't know any APs who think adoption is a "right". But I do know an awful lot who don't think it's a sin.

I don't have a right to have a good, well-paying job either. But it's not wrong for me to have one.

Pippin

I don't understand your question. Adoption helps two parties -- it allows adults to parent when they might otherwise not have the opportunity. And it gives babies and children who might otherwise have no home/family, a home and family. It's not a 'right' -- but I'm not clear why anyone would think it's a bad thing? You would prefer to live in an orphanage? Or on the street?

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