Do you agree with this?

In an answer to a question, a "regular" on this forum said this

"In my experience, "emotionally mature AP" = oxymoron. Readily admit tho' that I have seen the very worst of coercion in adoption.

Not true for some remarkable exceptional APs but generally seems to be the rule rather than the exception. Infertility seems to send perfectly rational humans off the deep end of reason."

Do you agree that the MAJORITY of APs or infertile people are "emotionally immature" or otherwise have mental issues?

If you don't agree, What kind of person stereotypes like that? What do you think it says about the person (to say what this poster said)??

Additional Details
Heather: Yes, I read the whole thing.

In my mind, saying there's a "few" good APs does little to lesson the impact of saying "Emotionally mature AP= oxymoron" and "exception rather than the rule"

The person has made it clear that she thinks the majority of APs have emotional issues

You cannot twist her meaning into something else.

r s

I know of one reactive attachment therapist who said that all people who adopt have their own emotional problems or they would not have adopted someone elses problem ... normal people don't adopt he said (I think that statement was what hurt one of my children the most.)

That is not my thoughts on the subject at all. Me I don't know how you could see children without homes and not offer to give one of them a home.

I think the whole system is messed up. The profits people make from adoption is sick, the cost of adoption is sick, the way social services is run is sick....

Sofiakat

Everyone has emotional baggage. It doesn't matter who you are.
As for "maturity", that is another story. There are varying degrees of maturity.
No one is perfect. Everyone grows.

Independ"ant"

Yes. I'm not an adoptee nor adoptive parent.

Its not every Ap or Pap but unfortunately way toooo many.

Some are even so demented that they could careless about how the child feels.

DDT

as a woman who dealt with infertility, I'll have to say no, not all infertile or adoptive parents are emotionally immature or have mental issues! I am very mature, and I've given a lot of thought to my decision. It wasn't easy for me and hubby to deal with infertility, but we've accepted it, and now we're ready for the next journey, start a family through adoption! I'm also mature in knowing that things will not be perfect and that I cannot expect the children to forget that they had a family before us! I would not want them to forget!

Some people are not ready to adopt, and they have not dealt with the loss that they have (infertility is a loss). It takes time!

Santa's Lil' Helper

I am not emotionally mature I am as excited, if not more, then my dd about going to Disney again this year. Oh yes and I am an AP. So I guess that makes me a monster! :-)

Suzy Sunshine

It's sad but there is a huge amount of hate speech on this answer board toward adoptive parents. Luckily it comes from a very small group of people.

Yes, they believe adoptive parents are villains and there is nothing that can be done to relieve them of this silly and self indulgent delusion.

Wundt

I know dozens of families who have adopted. And, I have to say that pretty much all of them are quite emotionally mature. Most are happily married (in their first marriage), generally happy with their lives, and overall good parents. None of them adopted for purely altruistic reasons, but all of them love their adopted kids deeply and sincerely.

I can only go with what I know and see, but I don't see anything to suggest that APs are more prone to psychological problems than anyone else.

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