Do you feel differently about your adopted child?

luvmesumhim

Take it from a mother that has already adopted... you will love this child just as if you had given birth yourself. I think it's impossible not to. I was surprised that my motherly instincts kicked in just as they would if I carried her myself. This is a decision you will not regret once you make it, I promise you!! I wish you the best!

IDK!!

They are VERY different relationships. I "love " them the same, but they have different needs. He's my little cuttle bug, while she's a daddy's girl.

You can't expect a child to fulfill anything in you. If they do then great, but it's too much for a child to live up to.

Before I got pregnant with my daughter, I thought I NEEDED to give birth and have a child to have a full life. After many horrific events, I finally came to a place where I was thankful to just be alive and I found peace. I was ready to move on and just enjoy life. The day after I found a true peace, the doc called and said I was pregnant. Of course I wanted the perfect pregnancy and it was the farthest thing from that. Again I was just thankful she was healthy, I didn't need the picture perfect pregnancy, delivery, child or life to be happy.

Until you find that peace, it might be better to not adopt. Being someone's "Miracle child" is a lot to live up to.

sizesmith

I have both a biological child (age 20), and an adopted child (age 19 months). I love both of my sons with all my heart. I love them differently, I'm so thankful for both of them.

My bio son is so independent it's not even funny, and always has been. I had an extremely difficult pregnancy, and an even worse birthing experience. My husband had taken everything I had, and had left us the day I found out I was pregnant.

I'm so much closer to my adopted son. He's the hugging type, who'll come up to me, grab both my cheeks, and plant a kiss on me many times a day. He wants to be held to go to sleep, and let's face it, I'm older, wiser, more financially and emotionally stable than when I had my oldest.

Also, since your husband had such horrific childhood experiences, you might consider talking with an adoption specialist before thinking you can adopt. Some people who were abused aren't able to adopt unless they've had counseling, have come to terms with what happened to them, and so forth, so the trend doesn't go another generation.

avi

If you don't think you'll love a child you adopt as much as a biological child, please don't adopt.

Live Laugh Love <3

My daughters are adopted, ages 2 and 12 and I am already very attatched to them as if they are my own the adoption was finalized about quite recently, I love them and have found the whole experience very fufulling

Kaden's Mommy

My boyfriend's stepfather raised him from the time he was three. His 'real' dad was a great guy but thought that helping him financially was better than actually being there.. I don't agree because he never helped my boyfriend financially - he has a new house & refused to help him go to college thus he dropped out & joined the Army. Anyway, his stepdad raised him, a girl, and another boy from the time they were very little and none of them were his. He loves them all like his own. He finally had his own biological son (about 5 months old) and feels the same way about this son as he does his other three kids.

My boyfriend, even though he was raised this way, said the only child he would ever adopt would be my son & that's because he has been raising him for the last year & he's 'cute'. (lol) He said he wouldn't be okay with adopting someone else's child.. Which is his personal opinion. He's just not okay with it.

I can honestly say that this is a really serious matter you need to think about, because there is also artificial insemination. At least you would have the satisfaction to know it is your own flesh & blood. I don't know how I would feel if I knew I was capable of being pregnant and giving birth but not able to do it.... I am not sure.... Look into artificial insemination.

Birthers are NOT mothers

If you are unsure, don't adopt. It won't be the same as having your own because it is not your own. He/she will know that they are second choice and that will stick with them forever.

Opedial

If you are having doubts then read read read. I don't believe I feel different about my three children (all adopted) than I would had I had a child biologically; however, I do feel that it takes a slightly additional skill set to adopt.

When adopting you have to do the normal parenting, that is a given, but you also must work with your child through the grief of hte loss of their FIrst parents, and identity and at times, cultural confusion.

We adopted our children from foster care, and we also had some (for lack of a better term) clinical skills to work through the first year, which included some severe acting out. My kids love me, this I don't doubt, but I could not expect all my children to say "yay, hi new parents" without going through some stuff.

So if you think you might feel differently towards them, the fact is you might. And if you feel that way, adoption may not be for you. Read, think and pray about it and do not enter into it lightly.

blairnative

i love my 2 kids without limit, it is a love i never knew could exist.

icehockeymom7

I think the fear you are feeling is very natural. Many people state this as their reason for not adopting....they feel they cannot love a child that isn't "their own". I honestly don't see my bio children as "my own" children and my adopted daughter as "someone else's" child. I do not love my bio children more than my adopted child. The degree of love is no different. Before you become a parent, there is absolutely no way you can even imagine the degree of love you will have for that child....there is no way to describe it! It may be that you are grieving the idea of not being able to experience pregnancy, and that is a different thing than thinking that you won't be able to love an adopted child.

SamAzsli

I say if you are having that issue get a baby. If you think a kid wont feal like your child a baby will.

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