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Linny G
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If you have to ask a bunch of strangers, then you shouldn't do either. |
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zil28ennov
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That's your decision. There are a lot of kids that don't have anyone to take care of them though. |
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Mei-Ling
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Just looking at all these answers amuses me.
The one that sticks out the most?
"You should try to have 'your own', and then adopt."
And here we all are... trying to convince ourselves that adoption isn't necessarily "the same as" or "less than."
If it was "the same as", people would not need to ask these types of questions. |
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Crucio
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That is truly a personnel decisions one that you need to make yourself. Being a parent whether through adoption , birth or both is a serious decision. One that should not be made lightly even more via asking complete strangers who don’t know you or your lifestyle.
If having a biological child is not important to you there are thousands of children (of all ages and races) available in the countries foster care system that truly need homes and families. Adopting from FCS is the cheapest form of adoption in some cases its free. You could adopt and have a natural child. |
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monkeykitty83
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That's a very personal decision.
I think you should do a lot more reading about adoption, particularly the adoptee experience, and then make the decision for yourself.
There are many children waiting in foster care for adoptive homes, but if you really desire to have a biological child instead, you shouldn't go into adoption seeing it as second-best to what you really want. No child wants to be seen as second-rate. Only adopt if adoption is truly what you want, and what you feel is right for you.
These are two very different paths, and no one can choose that for you. |
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Rachel
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Just a curious question to Steph-- why do you think someone can't have a baby shower if they are adopting a baby as opposed to giving birth to a baby? |
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architien
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Only you can truely answer that one!
Try being still and imagining the future if you like what you see then do everything possible to aim for that.
If you dont then well really there are three options in this.
Most importantly, at the risk of sounding like a soundbite from Disney, follow your heart!
My very best wishes. |
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♥♥Rita♥♥
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Consult the Magic 8 Ball.
Honestly, you are the only one who knows what is best for you. Both decisions have a lot that goes along with them and neither are as easy as asking a bunch of people on YA.
Take Care! |
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Alii
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One of both.
Adopting a child will give a child in need a home, but having your own child(so I've heard) is fascinating. |
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anastasia beaverhausen-the real1
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oh good lord. have your own. don't buy someone else's. |
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Rowan
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thats a personal decision only you can mkake. Do what your heart tells you to do.
PS. good to have ou back AB! the REAL AB! and i truly mean that. |
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Everything falls apart
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well, adoption is a lot of money, you know that right. And, having a child can be stressful for you because you're carrying it around for 9 months. But you should probably have one before adopting one. Just because it'll be like you and your family and you can experience what it's like to have a child. |
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kateiskate
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Depends on your situation. If you're not equipped mentally, emotionally, and physically to give a child a loving home you may not want to think about either. Personally I will adopt when I'm ready to start a family because I don't think I could rightfully add more people to a world that is in turmoil and overpopulated as it is when there are a lot of kids who need homes and families.
To Steph: I was adopted 21 years ago and I had 2 baby showers. One thrown by my family and one thrown for my mom by the people she worked with at the time. Most people don't think there is a difference between having a child and adopting a child as far as bringing a child into your family. That is why most companies these days give parents maternity leave to bond with their adopted child. I'm sorry your family and friends didn't feel that way. |
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cowgirl953
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adopt or one of each |
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Gracie
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i can't answer for you personally (depending on your situation i don't know which would be better) but i have always liked the concept of adoption because you could potentially be saving a child's life |
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Zoei A
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i think it is up to you...maybe you have one and adopt one.....i am partial to adoption due to my own personal history but it is up to you! |
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Kaylyn
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I would adopt because that's helping a child and have your own i would say. i asked my mom the same question and she said having your own kid is very fun and full of laughter and trial and error! i don't know if that's good or not but that's your choice guess. |
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AdoptionisLoving
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We have two biological children and are in the process of adopting a child. So far, both experiences have had emotional ups and downs. It is impossible to compare the two at this point. We are blessed that we have been able to experience the miracle of birth and are looking forward to adding to our family through the miracle of adoption. Whatever path you take, please make sure that you are prepared emotionally, physically and spiritually for the journey. Children deserve a loving, stable home whether they are a product of a biological birth or an adoption. |
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A B
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Try to have a child first. If can't, then adopt a child. |
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lalalalalalala
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i think you should have your own child because then you feel a connection right away and you wont have to explain to your child when you're older that they were adopted |
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♥ Lövé §h♂üld Bê Frëè ♥ ^¿^
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Having your own child is a lot funner ;) lol or so I've heard! But also it's just kind of diffrent waking up and seeing someone who you know you didn't birth, and it's like, diffrent and stuff! But you also save lives when you adopt. My parents wanted to adopt before I was born, but they changed their mind and now I don't have a sister :( aww. I hope you make the right decision. |
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tigerclaw
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if it was up to me
i would say no to both
kids are monsters
but i guess if i had to choose i would say
have your own baby
it makes it more special |
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tattooedgemini
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adoption is a lot more difficult and it takes way more effort to get the relationship on track. unless you adopt a newborn |
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Fabo
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Having your own kid is better. Cause you know your family history and medical background.
Adopting a kid means you're picking and don't know exactly how they're gonna come out. |
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Kitty K
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Have one. If you can have one, have one. Leave the children for those who can't have kids and want one. |
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Oldie Hawn
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Neither. |
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njlove1122
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well i believe you should think about having a child before adopting one...having your own child is a different situation than getting one.....but if you a low tolerence of pain than go ahead and adopt......hope i helped and good luck on you decision.... |
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Brianna
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Con of having your own baby:
Having one you have to go through hormones, achy breast and you can't pick the gender and then the cravings.
Pro:
You get a baby shower and that helps out with things.
Con of adopting:
It could be a drug baby or have been abused and you missed out on some of their child hood. And you don't get a baby shower to help you out.
Pro of adopting:
You saved a child and you show them what it's like to have a family instead of growing up in child haven being reminded every day that their parents abandon them which is why they are there. You can also say, "I want a child between 0-10 years old" and you can look through their profiles.
But you can also foster-to-adopt. Which would be the best way.
You don't go through the pregnancy pains and aches and all the baby weight that never comes off, you get to know the child, they'll call some times to have you pick up a new born from the hospital so you can start from the start and you get to know the child.
And fostering pays you money so it's like a baby shower check every month you have them.
And the foster to adopt doesn't always work if the parent gets their stuff together and gets the kid back.
But you can always foster and if you get attatched and the parents lose their rights you can adopt them and you already know them!
Edit to Rachel -
If you know you're getting the baby prehand, you can throw a baby shower, but every one still has mixed feelings.
But if you're just adopting a child, yes you can get some help, but not as much as a full blown out baby shower.
When we got Joel (9 month old baby), he only came with one onsie, and we were very tight on money for the first two months because we did have to buy him so many clothes. And it was a very short notice that we were getting them. |
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