Do you have biological AND adopted Children? What are their ages and how did your bio-children adjust?

taylor_22

I have 2 bio kids and 3 adopted. My baby who will be 5 this mo, has been with us since 4 mos old and the other 2, ages 6&10 have been with us the past 4 yrs. Since they saw my baby grow up with us, they love him unconditionally, but the other 2 are the ones they cant stand. They constantly fight and belittle them. I am always having to referee with them. They claims its b/c they are not "like" us. They are another race. I now regret adopting them b/c I never intended for them to suffer this way.

njpmom06

My parents adopted my brother and me, and then 15 years later they gave birth to the child they were told they'd never have. We loved her. Yes, as a 15 yo teen I was threatened, but she was a doll. We always said Mom and Dad loved her more because she was "theirs" and she always said they loved us more because we were "chosen".

I am now 37, 4 years ago she was killed at the age of 18 on the way to senior trip. I miss her more than words can ever say. She was the brightest spot in my life.

I have one son and am told because of my health I shouldn't have anymore. I would adopt and am sure I would love that child just as much.

Makayla

I hav one adopted child, Noah Bradley Swen, and Two Bio, Carlin Treva Swen and Malia Simone Swen they all ajust perfectly It might not be as easy, my adopted child was abused and was happy to find a loving family and sisters since he had all brothers, and my girls loved having a new brother! But if your adopting and you have children ask your children first get their opinion they might now want another.

terpinturtle

My best friend is adopted and her brother was born 8 months later. They are 16 months apart. I know they both felt loved and are happy well adjusted adults. My other close friend has a 13 year old and a 9 year old. They just adopted a child from china 2 years ago and another about a month ago. The babies from china are now 3and a half and 1and a half. The adopted babies are adored by all and everyone is adjusting well....except for the dog. I think she is scared! LOL Adoption is awesome as long as the kids are able to adjust and the parents can love them the same. I do not think bringing older adopted children into the home is the best idea with other kids though. I think if you are adopting older ones you should not have children of your own. Just my opinion. You must protect them all and sometimes you cannot in that situation.

Sparkie

I do not have adopted children.My mom gave my younger brother for adoption so he could have a chance for a better life because she was so young.I thought he had a better life than me till I found him 40 years later in a wheel chair doing a 15 year prison term.He said he never felt close to anyone that he was a loner...He didn't adjust well and hes just now starting to feel close to his adopted family

StacieG

We have two biological sons & two adopted daughters. The boys are 17 & 15, the girls are 13 & 9. We adopted 2 1/2 years ago & the kids were then 15, 13, 10 & 7.

The boys adjusted very well. We involved them in the process from the beginning, which I think helped. We adopted internationally, too, and we took the boys with us when we met the girls. I think that was immensely helpful because they all got attached to each other right away.

Our oldest daughter is the one who has had the hardest adjustment, but she went from being the mother figure to her and her sister to being a kid and that hasn't always sat well with her. It's been a difficult transition for her but it's been worth it.

Read as much as you can now, educate those around you (family and friends), join an adoptive support group, gather professionals (social workers, thereapists, etc) to help you when you need it.

mommy12406

I jsut wanted to say these answers are all very interesting. I have an 8 month old boy, and am in the process of adopting my 11.5 year old cousin out of a MI foster care. I know it is going to be hard, but I hope she adjusts ok. I will show her the same love I show my son, and make sure she knows she is every bit as important. I know this does not answer your question, but I wanted to say thanks for asking!

sunshine01

i have 5 children of my own 2 still at home..6 and 16..i recently got my grandson who is 2 from foster care and is now living with us..it has been difficult due to my son was kinda an only child..since my daughter is much older..we have had some stuggles..but they are starting to grow like a family...dont know the effect later down the road...but a loving family is always better than not..good luck :)

KERI M

I honestly think it is better for people who can have thier own children not to adopt. Especially if they have biological children already or are planning to. My husband was adopted because his parents could not get pregnant. They had a child 5 years later. My husband also has an adopted sister. Both he and his sister feel that they were treated differently. The disipline was harsher for them. They both have had issues in life and struggles. My husband had a hard time showing love and letting himself be loved. He put up a wall for the longest time. I think it is the fear of abandonment. He is doing well now and we are very happily married with 2 children. I will say that is was a very tough road full of much stress and hard work for me along the way, but I simply loved him so much I just had to show him that yes, I do love him and will be by his side forever. It will be our 9th anniversary on Aug 8.

cristina

my parents adopted me b/c they thought they couldn't have their own children. then 3 years later my little brother was born! i don't really mind being adopted in my family. but i look nothing like my brother and just laugh inwardly when people tell me how different we look. i you do adopt, make sure you are open to the child's feelings on their birth parents. chances are they will want to look, let them. you may feel threatened, but know that you are always their mommy, even if you aren't their mother. good luck!!

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