Do you know anyone who put their child up for adoption?

grapesgum

Yes. I know some of the million and half of the "Girls Who Went Away" during the Baby Scoop Era. A few years ago, my daughter's friend gave her baby to some horrible people (lied about open adoption to get her baby).

How did it affect them? - they feel that it is worse than if their children had died. They grieve in private and without support or sympathy. One described it as having been buried alive.

Were they depressed? Yes, deeply and permanently. They never got over it. One of the Baby Scoop Era moms has never been able to find her son and fears she will die never seeing him again. She was "allowed" to hold him for 5 minutes in the hospital. My daughter's friend was in nursing school. She dropped out and is fighting alcohol addiction. She cries every day for her son.

MissLJ

I put my son up for adoption he will be 17 in four days. It was an open adoption and I picked his family. I have never gotten over it. I think about him all the time what he is like, what kind of man he his becoming. I still feel the pain of the choice I made but I never regretted my decision. It was the right one for me at the time. It was painful to make that decision and yes I was sad and missed him, I cried a lot the first couple of years but I moved on with my life because I feel I made the right decision for him and for me. But you never forget. Talking to someone that you trust and that will not judge you is important. My sons name is Kevin and I hope he has a great 17th birthday.

tish

yes... and each one of them regretted it.

Lori A

I'm in the link

Freckle Face

Dear Chanice,

I asked this question, these are all First Mothers who lost a child to adoption.

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=Ar7CeIXg8KiOd57TPvqYjzTty6IX;_ylv=3?qid=20080524184115AAVYUuI

I hope it helps.

Oh me oh my...â™¥

My Grandmother........

She is bitter about the whole thing. The girl found her and wanted a relationship with her and she refused. To this day she wants nothing to do with her "daughter". Very ugly situation.

My Aunt.........

Bothered her for years but she knew she did the right thing. She did not regret her choice but missed her child. Reunited when the boy was an adult and they have a wonderful relationship now. He completly understood why she made the choice she did.

LaurieDB

I know quite a few of them, but I'll focus on my first father. According to him, his wife of over 30 years and the rest of the family, he was depressed about it and searched for me throughout the years. When my father and I reunited 7 years ago, he said that it finally got rid of the big hole in his heart. According to family members, reunion has made such a positive change in him. He is no longer feeling that hurt.

I can't say how it affected my first mother. She died before we could ever reunite.

mommy2squee

Yes, my mother, and my son's mother both gave up children , as did a couple of friends.

Yes they were/are depressed, though some had chronic depression long before their pregnancies.

You don't "get over it" you learn to live with it.

Amanda

yes, she is depressed even though it is an open adoption, she still gets pictures and updates but she wonders all the time what if her daughter were still with her & not someone else.... I feel bad but she wasnt NOT ready to have a child. You need to do whats best for the baby. I dont think she'll ever get over it.

maybe

It is neverending grief.

Curious

yes I do, she was sad but she knew it was the right thing to do and got on with her life. had two kids later in life and they're wonderful. really, back then it was not cool to be a single mother plus our family was seriously dysfunctional. I don't think anyone is doing the baby a favor by being a single mom.

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