Do you know someone who was adopted?

C Wood

I'm the adoptee. I wouldn't look for my mother as I believe it was very painful to give us up to satisfy a new husband's demands, and I wouldn't want to pain her.

I'd love to know my siblings, however.

I always had to raise myself. The adults around me couldn't be trusted to do right by me. Some were good; some were not so good. But I had to raise myself.
cw

Opedial

I know a lot of people who were adopted as part of the 60's scoop where the government scooped 10's of thousands of Canadian Indian children and fostered them out and adopted them to places as far as Europe as part of a systemic assimilation policy. This occurred between 1965-1984.

Many of the people taken and adopted through this time lost their heritage, their culture, which was the goal of the government. So the people I know are pissed, but not always with the adoptive parents. In fact, many love their parents very much, but are having a hard time reconnecting with their culture, which is based on the Creator and healing.

So I won't say how they feel about adoption in general (many of my adopted friends were beyond excited about our adoption, but we did adopt children from foster care (which is much different now then it was and as such may be better with adoption in this sense).

As an aside, I have never met someone non-Aboriginal who told me they were adopted.

Hope it helps.

I

gypsywinter

In all my 62 years I never knew IRL a person who was adopted or admitted to nor an adoptive parent who adopted or admitted to. The only real live person I know who was adopted, is my own reunited daughter. She is a very, very successful woman in her professional life...her personal life is an absolute disaster. She has found a way to separate her professional and her personal life...but this gigantic feat has taken it's toll on her, emotionally and physically. She has never praised her own adoption, nor condemned it. Though she harbors deep resentment, still, that I 'left her'. She was a newborn adoption. She was not taken from me for neglect/abuse. She was a BSE baby.

She once said to me as if no big deal, just her fate in life..."Well, if it hadn't been ***** and **** that adopted me, it would have just been somebody else". I can't begin to tell anyone how deeply sad I felt when I heard those words and the look on her face.

Philippa

I have three 2nd cousins adopted by dad's cousin and his wife) who were adopted internationally back in the 60's so grew up just accepting it but when I found out a school friend was adopted it got me thinking. I found out after we left school (we were 17) and it was her cousin who told me as we were going out with each other. He thought I already knew. She did have contact with her natural mother by this time which surprised me but I felt too awkward to talk to her about this. It got me thinking about whether my cousins would ever want contact with their families..

Since my son was adopted my perspective changed as it was now more personal and I always wondered if he would be adopted and is so how he would feel about me.

After I found him I went online for support as I really didn't know how to deal with it. It has been a real learning experience getting to know adoptees online and finding out about how they feel. it has helped me with my reunion with my son.

The differences of experiences of adoptees are varied greatly from those who are really happy to those who were abused by their adoptive families with most experiences being somewhere in the middle.

I don't think it is lucky to be adopted unless the child has been removed from a bad situation such as abuse.

Sophie

My grandmother was adopted and doesn't talk much about it either way.

My father, aunt and uncle were adopted. Neither have anything to do with their biological family.

My cousin was adopted and is curious. He is 15.

My son was adopted. He is curious as am I about his biological family.

Helena B

like crap. im on my own cuz my mum n dad abused me.

AdoreHim

I am an adoptee, my 2 children are adopted, and I know several others that are adopted as well. My real mother (and father) are the ones that raised me. When I say that I am not negating my birth mom, and the role she has played in my life, even though I never met her. I have love and respect for her, for choosing life for me, and I love the birth moms of both of my children for choosing life for them as well. I don't believe that being adopted makes one less or more successful. I know many biological children that are not what the world would consider successful, and I know adoptees that are. I have never felt alone. It may have to do with the fact that I had/have a great relationship with my mother. However, the biggest reason that I have never felt alone is because I have a relationship with God.- nothing can take that away from me. Why would you say that it is weird to be adopted. Lucky may not be the word that I would use, but thankful is!

Independ"ant"

Yes....many.

One woman in particular I know has been sober from alcohol/drugs for 10 years.

She has major trust and self esteem issues.

She was adopted as an infant (blond/blue eyed baby)......by a wealthy infertile couple.

Didn't know she was adopted until we bumped heads one day and a mutual friend who had relinquished her own child as a teen informed me that she is having problems due to being adopted/relinquished.

Its actually quite sad because she is addicted to cosmetic surgery and no one except our mutual friend has tried to address her underlying issues. Her family just writes it off as drug/alcohol addiction related instead of what is emotionally/mentally setting her off.

Carol c

I do know alot of adopted people including my own son who I am now reunited with. I think you can be successful if you're adopted but many of my adopted friends say they suffer from insecurity that someone will abandon them like their own mothers.

Personally, I don't think an adopted person should feel grateful for someone taking them in, anymore than any of us should feel grateful to the parents who gave birth to us.

You do have two sets of parents - that's the reality. I don't think it's lucky to be adopted unless perhaps your first situation was abusive.

There are lots of books that would help you feel you're not alone. Many of them are mentioned here. I also think "Adoption Healing" by Joe Soll is a good one to help you as an adopted person understand your conflicted feelings.

23 year old texas female married

I know 3 people that are adopted. Jackie didn't mind being put up for adoption. She understood her birth parent's situation. They were both hippies and liked smoking pot and doing other drugs. Heck she likes smoking pot and taking her step mother's pain pills. She's not a bad person but I guess that is her way of dealing with it. She said if she ever got pregnant she'd give it up for adoption that she doesn't think she is the parenting type.

As Jared is considered he hates being adopted and is always depressed and he also like to smoke pot and cigarettes. He doesn't want to become a father ever! His adoptive parents were a white doctor and a stay at home mom. While we where all going to school together to become MA's he didn't have a job and stayed with his friend. He tends not to want to get into a committed relationship. He has a fear of rejection.

My mom's first cousin was adopted. I am not sure if it was a kinship adoption because she does look and act like my family. I asked her once how did she feels about being adopted but she said not to worry about it. I was confused by that. She has 5 kids. Her oldest daughter is one year younger than me. If it wasn't for the hispanic skin color me and my cousin would look identical. Well except that she is a size D cup and I am a size A cup. The area where my Aunt she adopted from almost everybody is related. But my mom's cousin was just like all of them. She got pregnant as a teenager like my mom, aunts, and other cousins. She had blonde hair blue eyes like my grandfather's side of the family. Where happens to be where all of his family lived.

My mom's first cousin I can relate to her better than anyone else in my family. When I thought I was pregnant (my mom would of thrown me out of her trailor) My first cousin made sure I knew I had a place to stay with her and raise my baby. It turned out I wasn't pregnant. She is more caring than most people I know. She is my aunt's only child. And my aunt does help her pay her bills and will always have her bedroom available if she ever wants to move back in. You can tell that my aunt and her love each other, even though my aunt can be a burden to her. My aunt if bipolar which is why the doctors told her not to have any biological children. My mom's first cousin is in her 40s. She knew her birth mother was a teenager at the time she was given up. Like I said she didn't want to discuss it with me. Then again I was 16 at the time.

neversaynever720

Me, myself, and I lol.

I answered something like this, so I'm going to say the same thing. My mother adopted me at birth. I don't even think of her as my adopted mother, I think of her as my mother. It's not your DNA that makes you family. My mom has always been there for me and stuck by me, that's what makes her my mom. Being adopted really doesn't phase me. If I ever met my biological mother, I wouldn't consider her my mom, she would be just another person to me. Me and my family are very close.

red elephants

i know a good number of adopted individuals. the adults are all very successful in what they do. the kids are great and very sweet/loving but no idea on their success in life yet since they are so young but i have no doubt they will be.

adoptees are just like everyone else and not some inferior species. we all go through things in life that are difficult. adoptees aren't the only ones who may not live with their birth families or know them or who have the possibility of being completely on their own (families fall apart, deaths happen, etc leaving people along). Some people are successful in life and others aren't despite being adopted. one well known adoptee is Michael Steele who heads the RNC.

I don't think of adoptees being on their own. They have a family. I'd say foster kids who age out are on their own. Same for those who aren't in the system and lose their families to death, etc at an earlier age than normal. I don't think its weird to be adopted its just a different family makeup. In the past it was more unique for lack of better words but now families are so completely blended with divorce, remarriage, kids from both parents, kids out of wedlock, adoptions, etc that its very common for families to not be related to one another by blood.

I wouldn't say its lucky to be adopted. It just is one of those things. Just like I'm not lucky that I was raised by a single mom (dad skipped out). At the same time I wasn't unlucky. I had a great life with her and have made my own success. life hands all of us road blocks and obstacles then we have to decide how to handle them. adoption is just the same.

Edit: Independant: just like i cannot claim they are all happy with their adoptions you cannot claim they arenot. i took the original question as being successful careerwise and thus listed some successful celebrities/politicians that do have or had successful carreers. I was not claiming they were all at peace with their adoptions.

Dani

My uncle (my mum's sister's husband) is adopted and he's always known. His mum was very young and couldn't cope so put him up for adoption. It never bothered my uncle. To him, his adopted parents are his parents. He only actually got in touch with his family when he became ill to see if it was a hereditary disease. Basically, he knows he is loved and it doesn't matter to him if he is biologically related to those that love him.

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