Do you think adoption is "beautiful"?

minimouse68

Adoption isn't beautiful......how anyone can imagine that a child could be happy knowing that they were abandoned by the people who should have loved them most is beyond me. True, adoption can lead to some beautiful relationships, Im very close to my adoptive parents and love them very much, but even my adoptive parents have the common sense and compassion to understand the pain and devastation I grew up with as an adoptee and continue to struggle with today. It amazes me how many people come on here and blather on about how adoptees should feel, how many people come on here and tell us that we should be grateful that we weren't aborted......and how many of those people seem totally mystified and offended when we don't agree with them.....of course, most of them have never actually had to stop and look at our side of adoption from a personal point of view. They have no idea what it feels like to know that you were thrown into the unknown.
@Niv: Wow, talk about making assumptions!! Not to mention feeling sorry for yourself buddy! Like a lot of adopted children, my life as a child was no bed of bloody roses, the good relationship I have with my aparents now is something that I developed in adulthood, my father was into hitting his kids with canes and belts........ I stand by what I said in my answer to the OP, you have no bloody idea, and I still consider my life good compared to those adoptees who were really badly abused by their adoptive parents.....there are plenty of adoptees who were first abandoned by their first families and then abused by their adoptive parents.

LinnyG

Notice the people who say "adoption is beautiful" are USUALLY not adoptees. They are adoptive parents, people who want to adopt, or people who say, "I have a cousin who is so happy they are adopted!"

Sorry, you cannot speak for your cousin, your child, your friend, your neighbor or some girl you met on the subway who is adopted. Most adoptees "seem" happy.

There is nothing beautiful about losing your first Mother, father, siblings, grandparents, cousins, heritage, culture, name, or country. There is also nothing beautiful about being raised by complete strangers who are nothing like you.

Vanessa

Depends on who you are asking...

Sure it is "beautiful" for the adopters and their family, who get to gain a family member at a young, vulnerable woman's expense.

It is NOT so "beautiful" for the woman who's sole duty (apparently) was to provide everyone with a son/ daughter, brother/ sister, grandchild, cousin, friend and significant other, all while she got nothing, nada (and in a great many cases, not even the pictures, letters and updates she was promised).

It is not so "beautiful" when you find your child and they have been brainwashed by the adopters and their family to believe that "GOD" willed it ALL, (even the false promises and lies).

Yeah, soooooooo beautiful. Just like rainbows and sunshine...

Mommy To Be

I think people actually taking care of the kids they bring into this world is beautiful

kidmindi

Nope. Being both an adult adoptee and an adoptive parents, I think adoption is sad.

It's sad that I lived my life wondering why I wasn't good enough for my first mom to want me. It's sad that I had to wait until I was an adult to meet my siblings. It's sad that I missed out on so much of my natural family.

Now history has repeated itself. I adopted my step daughter because her first mom would or could not settle down and take proper care of her. Even tho we have an open adoption, which is better than closed, I expect that someday she will wonder why her first mom would not raise her. If she has other siblings from her first mom someday she may be sad that she wasn't raised with them.

I see nothing but loss in adoption. Sometimes it is a necessary loss, but always a loss and always sad.

tish_part deux

maybe if i glare at it very hard and squint my left eye.....nope, still not beautiful.

Carol c

Adoption is merely another way to create a family.
That isn't beautiful or ugly, it just is. What's beautiful to me is a mother giving birth to and keeping her child with her, because that is in keeping with the natural order.

What I see are the people who still buy into the fact that in order for someone to adopt someone else's child - they are saviors or rescuers; when in fact they are creating their family in a way that destroys another family - the natural family of the mother and child.

I'm not saying it's wrong to adopt a child who absolutely has no one else in their original family they can live with; but it's certainly not beautiful because it creates sorrow for those who have been separated.

Pip

No and I don't know.

The ones who do generally don't have a first hand experience of adoption so don't have a clue of the negatives of adoption. I know there are some people who do have a 100% positive adoption experience but they are in the minority. Most of us fall somewhere in the middle so even though who have generally positive adoption experiences are more than aware that adoption has many flaws.

From a personal point of view adoption is a living hell all because my arents didn't want to support their daughter (me)in my choice in being a mother. I could affprd to raise him without the aid of benefits, I didn't abort because I wanted to raise and most importantly I loved and still love him more than anything else. I don't see anything noble about surrendering as I wanted to raise him. My son may have had a good life and is much loved but it doesn't mean he was better off raised by someone else it was just different. He is also an adult adoptee with major issues with adoption.

preciousmom

Adoption is an act of violence. It begins with coercion, human rights violations, reproductive exploitation, baby-selling, falsified records, and mothers being traumatized for life. It is a huge industry, profiting in the billions of dollars each year, that exploits vulnerable mothers and babies and doesn't care one bit about the damage it leaves in its wake.

kitta

I haven't seen the beauty. but, I sure have seen the pain.

The end.

so.cal.smiley.22

I can see adoption being beautfiul meaning that your giving that child another chance to have a great life. But whose to say that that child will have a great life. I can also see adoption being beautiful by allowing a family to become bigger by adding happiness and joy. But sometimes that happiness and joy doesnt hapen. Those are the only ways I see adoption being beautiful

Niv

Well for one, in some cases it shows that people have risen above their primal desire to procreate life in a likeness of themselves, which in this world where overpopulation is becoming an increasingly alarming problem, many might regard it as a noble act of sacrifice - sacrificing the greatest biological purpose of life for the greater good.

In other cases, parents cannot have children of their own, and adoption gives them a chance to have a family, while giving an abandoned child a chance at having a loving home and a promising future they might not otherwise have had.

In yet even other cases, there may be people who may be otherwise good potential parents, but carry bad genes - genetic disorders or diseases that run in the family. They may choose not to have children of their own in order that their potential biological children (or their grandchildren, etc.) not suffer from debilitating illnesses or birth defects. They may take on the role as parent of a child who's biological parents may have not been good potential parents, but had otherwise healthy genes, thus giving both a sense of fulfillment in life they otherwise wouldn't have had.

I'm not saying it always works out, nor am I saying it's ALWAYS a good thing, but there are many reasons why adoption CAN be a good thing.

@ the people saying you donÂ´t understand adoptees: Oh please... I donÂ´t claim to understand what itÂ´s like to be adopted, but ffs my biological parents made it clear to me throughout childhood that I was a "mistake". Hell I got my "confiscated" belongings back wrapped in newspaper for xmas and abused if I made a mistake on the piano. When you get done wallowing in self-pity, put the shoe on the other foot for a change: Do you honestly believe that just because you live with biological parents that some magical thing happens that makes life better? All IÂ´m saying is that adoption can be a good thing, and in SOME cases, it sure as hell beats what could have been if they went unadopted.

Brooke

I think to many people, nothing is more beautiful than seeing a happy, healthy, thriving child. So people who see adoption as a positive thing see it that way--it brings joy, happiness, and a feeling of contentedness to the child and their adoptive family, which is beautiful.

MissyLS08

It is beautiful because people adopt and CHOOSE to add a new person to their family. They do not need the child to be a blood relative in order to care for it and they do this out of love- not other reasons like accidental pregnancy...

Lemon Pucker

yes, because the person did not choose abortion and is giving a child a chance at life and giving a someone a gift that they have been long waiting for

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