Do you think babies born to surrogates have the same attachment disorder as adoptees?

MamaKate

Dear Mom,

Heather beat me to it! I was going to link you to the same blog. Here's another:

http://umbliclychallenged.blogspot.com/2006/03/fantasising-as-youngster.html#links/

Certainly there is bonding in utero. Science supports this and women are encouraged to consider this when choosing to act as a surrogate or place a child for adoption. Not only does this bonding occur because of sounds, smells, rhythms, etc. but also the biological exchanges between mother and child as the child grows inside of her. Even surrogates exchange biological material with the fetus during pregnancy.

This is something that is just now getting real recognition. Glad you asked about it.

Camira, Most children born from surrogate arrangements have to be adopted by at least one parent. Surrogacy and adoption often go hand in hand.

ETA: Camira, I never knew it either, but found out while doing research into adoption! It was SHOCKING for me to learn how connected they are - changed my perspective, yes indeedy!!! :)

Lillie

Have you ever given birth?

Have you ever seen how a newborn infant will search out his/her mother's voice? Be instantly soothed by the touch of her skin? Do you know that newborns are acutely aware of who their mother is, even in a room full of strangers...put him/her in their mother's arms and they KNOW it is their mother.

Tell me...how do they know this? It is from being intimately attached to her for 9 months. Feeling her movements, hearing her voice and heartbeat, even smelling her scent.

Newborns are not "blank slates". They know full well who they were born to and who they belong with.

Taking them away from that one and only person they know when they enter the world is traumatizing. Imagine if everything that you know...the ONLY thing that you know...is suddenly gone, and you have no idea where she is or what is going on. You are afraid, you can't express your fears or your agony, all you can do is cry for her.

It's got to be a pretty scary and lonely place for babies, adopted or surrogate, to lose that one and only woman whom they know, their entire WORLD since conception.

They don't know the difference, all they know is this is their mother...and then she is gone.

Independ"ant"

Absolutely. We will never be able to change biology as much as some want to.
I find it unethical that instead of just getting the parents that can't conceive psychological help, they choose to find ways of deceiving a child psychologically. I can't believe this is happening. Thanks for the post.

I HEART Cornwell

I think so.

Heather B

Yes of course they do. Only it's doubly cruel because it was done to them intentionally without any thought to how it may affect the child.

Just like adoptees, many people who were the result of surrogacy remain closeted. But here's something written by a brave soul who is not afraid to speak out:

http://sonofasurrogate.tripod.com/

ntt

I have no idea but that would seem to be possible, do you think they would adapt really fast.

Xenie X

Really interesting question, I think it would be the same because the feelings of abandonment from the 'mother' with whom you had bonded would be the same. Bonding isn't a genetic thing and if babies can recognise the voice and smell of mother as soon as they are born it will be the voice and smell of the mother who carried them.

Sofiakat

Attatchment disorders begin between ages 0 to 2. They are caused by neglect, abuse, and sometimes illness or not having one person to learn to attatch to as is common in foster care when a child is passed back and forth or moves from foster home to foster home. True attachment disorders need at least one of the above criteria to be created.

Ted

I know dozens of adopted children that do not have this "attachment disorder" you speak of. So your question is psychobabble bunk.

1234

I beleave RAD is a whole other ball park... I was told at a class by a health care professional that it is from when infants are left crying or unattended to their needs. NOT from the adoption, or the lack of their bio mom. RAD is totally diffrent than not under sanding why. RAD children grow up with out the ability to care for others.

Renee King

That is a good question. I am not sure how long surrogacy has happened when it is not her egg but that of the other woman and her husband. So the children of this process are still young and we do not know the full effect yet.

The woman carrying the baby would have no biolocial ties. No DNA of the child which on Y/A a big factor stressed is DNA. I would assume and from the link posted by another user there is a bond, the sensation between the baby and the womb and the woman. But I wonder once the baby is with it's biological mother does everything kick in and the baby knows it own DNA connection?

Tough question, not sure if any of us truly have the answer to this yet. But I will enjoy reading the thoughts and what is found out.

emnari

Yes I would imagine they would, but if the mom (not the one carrying the child) was to communicate to the baby while in utero it may help the child.
A lady in our adoption class said that her baby was given tapes of them reading stories and just talking and the birth mom placed the earphones on her stomach for the baby to hear .. when the baby was crying when he came out, she spoke to him and he stopped .. and knew her voice.
I think it helps ..

ellen s

I don't believe babies have attachment disorders, If they are adopted from birth anyway. My parents are foster parents and the children who are to and three or older have the issues, but I was adopted and have no issues what so ever. Attachment issues occur with or without adoption. I know me, my two cousins and my friend and her twin brother were all adopted from birth, and none of us have attachment issues.

chelsea s

Probably not, because the adoption stigma isn't there. The surrogate is often a family member or close friend, and probably welcome to any desired information or contact with the child.

Crucio

Actually sometimes a couple has a surrogate carry their biological baby so the baby is genetically related to the parents, thatâ€™s called IVF Gestational, and I would assume would be the preferred route that most couples will do if possible. Even when the surrogate donates her egg or the couple gets a donated egg from a bank, the husband is most often the biological father. That was the case with my nephew my brother is his biological father, although in his situation my SIL did carry him so technically speaking she was his surrogate.

To the original question I suppose surrogate can suffer some of the same issues that some adpotees suffer. The primal wound that some adoptees face. Though obviously not all surrogacy kids are going to have these issues just like not all adoptees have these issues.

Sophie

Well, pin a rose on your nose for it not being about you. Please.

Anyway, Yes, I think a baby/child could have some attachment disorders with both situations. These are both very real and unique issues for children to deal with.

Kristy

Camira B

I'm no expert so don't quote me, but I don't think it would be the same. I think (adoptees, feel free to correct me if I'm wrong.) that with adoption, children and adults struggle with questions like why didn't my mom or dad want me? Who are they? What are they like? Do I look like them? This wouldn't be applicable because the child would be with his or her natural parents.

That being said, bonding begins in utero and so there would be adjustment. I just can't imagine it being as long-lasting as the kind of "adjustment" one must handle if adopted.

ETA: Oh, wow, MamaKate. I didn't even know that. Thanks for letting me know.

sHiiNye

well do yu think adopters? sholud do wat dey do

Rose

The only exchanges during pregnancy are nutrients waste and endorphins that are passed to the baby. People should not imply that the surrogate actually exchanges biological material to the child because first all that statment is incorrect. When a gestational surrogate is used to assist the bio parents the baby is already 1 week in development and the bio mom and bio dad who conceived the child are the only ones who have exchanged their biological material that is how a baby is created. Now the surrogate's nutrition will affect the developement of the child along with wither or not she is stressed as the endorphins released in her body will be exchanged via the placenta. But that is different from actually saying there are biological material exchanged. There could only be 1 genetic mother and 1 genetic father and this factual information because when the baby is born, a geneticist is there to swab the bio mom, bio dad and baby and gestationa surrogate. Once the baby shows to be a %100 match to it's bio mom and dad then they actually get their rights back as the named birth mother and birth father. So please get your facts straight before you try to imply that the surrogate also has a biological relation because she does not.

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