Do you think foster kids get a double-dose of rejection? How can they get over it?

Bre

they will never get over it but if you love and nurtuer and take care of there needs first and let them know you love them it will get easyer but never go away.and they will probaly go with somone in there contry.

anastasia beaverhausen-the real1

oh looney-

i have no answers to this one. i hate this for you, i really do. i honestly don't know how foster kids learn to connect or even just "be" with others.

as an adoptee- i find it 99.999% impossible to trust or even be in a relationship with a potential partner.

it's just too hard and way too dangerous.

Mom to Foster Children

Yeah I do. Our son has lost his mommy, daddy, transportation (who was with him from the start), CASA (who was with him from the start) other foster brothers and sisters (who were with him either from the start or damn close to it)...and I wonder why he thinks in his little head that if he does enough wrong in the house that he will get to leave as well and possibly go and live with his other mommy. (this is what he told his therapist - maybe if I am bad enough to my mommy and daddy -us- the Judge will say that I can go and live with my other mommy because I think she did some bad things as well and we could be "bad" together!)

prettyeyez0724

yes i do think that foster children experience more rejection in homes . i personally spent over 12 years in foster care and you are constantly been shipped from home to home so its difficult to get attached to someone or be open because you don't trust the individual . i think foster children have it really rough you are suppose to be i foster care for a better living enviorment or whatever the situation but sometimes it is worst then what you would have been living anyway .

mamabearluv79

Some foster parents adopt. But yeah, it would be a really hard thing to get over. But there are alternatives. Like my family has custody over my sisters children. So we as a whole family raise them, we all love them but they just can't live with my sister. So she has contact (limited) with them, but it beats foster care and adoption in our case. I think we need to pay social workers and fund social programs more so children are placed in higher priority. Kids in foster care deserve the best.

Pirate Girls Kick Butt!

"foster kids are least likely to be adopted in their own country"..? WHAT?
I do not think this is true. Over seas adoptions happen because people want young kids. Most kids up for adoption through DHS are 4-18 years old.

But yes they do go through multiple rejections, and even more trauma sometimes. I know of abused children who were then abused in their foster homes too. They need lots of therapy. Some kids develop what is called attachment disorder due to this (amongst other things) which requires a specialized type of therapy.
But also remember that children recover faster and better than adults when it comes to traumatic events.
Being someone who has worked in a professional manner with these kids, setting professional boundaries has always been a struggle. Because I will be another person who leaves them at some point. I had done some great behavioral work with one kid and he met all of his goals so it came time to discharge him and he purposely began acting up and behaviorally back sliding because he didn't want to let me go. So one thing that we could do to change is to allow workers/staff to continue to have contact with their clients after discharge. (no contact after discharge is a HIPPA law/regulation)

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