Do you think it would be alright to delivery Christmas?

I Love A Child With Autism!!!

Yes, I do every year. Not out of charity, but out of love. We are one big extended family and I love her and her other children very much. We cannot get together because we live clear across the country from one another so I send gifts and gift cards from their local grocery store. It is not one sided though, although they have very little money, she always makes a craft of some kind for our family, it usually has pics or something of her other children and we cherish that because it is S's family. DO what is in your heart. As long as the gesture comes from your heart, she will know that you care!

â™£Lash Catâ™¥

I think that is a wonderful idea~ just be sure to tell them in advance!

love my babies and my bump

Yes, I think that would be very nice. I would let them know in advance that you are going to stop by to say hi on Christmas and bring some gifts to the kids.

Yes, that would be nice.

Linny G

I think it's a nice idea.

Mom to Foster Children

I think it's a great idea and it will help your son knowing that there is a bond between you and his first mommy.

ladybmw1218

I would simply treat them like you do other friends and family. If you give gifts within your circle, then give gifts to them. If you only buy for kids, then buy for the kids, etc.

We treat DS's first family as, well, family.

kateiskate

I think it is a nice idea:) That is a great way for your son to spend time on christmas with both of his families:)

Independ"ant"

One of things my family used to do is send gifts and or money Anonymously to families in need.

It will guarantee that you wouldn't be "unintentionally" messing with her in case you have mixed motives. Considering that at one time you wanted to call CPS on her because she changed her mind on handing her 2nd baby over to you.....I think its best you stay away unless its about her seeing her other child that you're taking care of.
Although you say you accept she won't hand her baby over....you still want him/her. Don't delude yourself...thats not acceptance.

Anil: Sure you could but you just let your insecurities get the better of you. Sorry but I don't play into politically correct terms or definitions to appease a persons insecurities and you shouldn't expect others to as well. Don't take it personally.

Just a Mom

I think that it would be great for you to do it. Any chance that you can get to keep the siblings connected, take it! Even though C's an infant and might not know what is going on, her mom will. She will see that you care (although I am sure that she already knows) and that you want to keep contact.

And this is the first time that I have realized that there are older siblings...and your son is the only one adopted?

allchildrenareangels

call her and ask if she would like that. She probably will but, ask just in case. There might be sensitive feelings when it comes to finances. I would ask though that is a very nice thing. Maybe you can be there for and her family as well that would be nice.

grapesgum

She's embarrassed because she kept her OWN child? Oh my god, isn't that a sad commentary on adoption?

I think it is a bad idea. If you really care about her, then figure out a way to help them anomalously.

mom of many

that would be a nice idea but it might make them feel even worse and more embarrassed. Perhaps sending them all gifts anonymously

sanachanthe1337

I think that's an amazing idea! Just because the adoption didn't go through, doesn't mean you don't care about that family. I think they'd feel happy to know you're still thinking about them and caring about them.

friends R gifts we give ourself

i think that is so nice and sweet of you, i'm sure she is embarrassed by the whole thing, but i think it's wonderful you are okay with it, this is a wonderful way of showing her you are okay too i think. God Bless i hope you have a great Christmas.

Anilorak

I think a gift from the heart is a gift from the heart.

But I had to actually sign up to point out my response to Independ"ant" 's comment regarding you "taking care of" this woman's other child.

Babysitters take care of other people's kids. You are raising this child. You have adopted him, thus he is now your child. To say that you're "taking care of her child" is to completely disregard that adoption creates a new family.

Obviously, he has two sets of parents, including his first parents, and to ignore either set's role in his life is, well, crap.

So sorry, but I couldn't let this one pass.

eharrah1

Yes, it would be very nice. I have to say, I admire you. Don't know if I could have been as big as you in this type of situation.

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