Do you think "open" adoption is best or that it is better to cut off an adopted child fom birthparents?

The brain

OPEN ADOPTION in most cases.

Those adoptions that result from the foster care system because of bio-parent abuse and neglect, should be CLOSED for the safety of the child and the adopting parents.
But in these cases, information should be provided to the children and APs regarding history and medical information, etc.

Why? Because I want my records and history!

sweetjane

Open adoption in ALL cases except abuse/neglect.

Stephen G

I would love to see open adoption in most Cases however i live here in the real world and also have seen alot in my lifetime to know open adoptions are only a doorway to problems like black male from drug abusing parents telling adoptive parents ill take my child back unless you pay up and so on and so on like my answer or hate it but think about it it will happen

Linny G

Open, if adoption is necessary- meaning there is no family member to raise the child.

Nora

open that way no mystery the child does not feel abandoned

sunny

I only 'believe' in adoption in cases of abuse, addiction, or profound neglect. Otherwise I 'believe' adoption is emotionally destructive to the adopted.

I hope your 'open' adoption lasts, most don't.

Independ"ant"

I don't think Aps, agency's or the govt should be playing God in denying adoptees the right to know their natural families or natural families the right to know how their child is doing.

girl

Open adoption.

crazychickizback

personally, if i adopted in an "open" adoption, I would close it because I see no reason to further confuse the child. When you surrender, you also surrender your right to know the child unless the adoptive family is kind enough to let you anyways

alex

i was also adopted through a closed adoption and personally i would find it very confusing to have had an open one...i think that it's unnatural- there's no room for two sets of parents in a childs life..also i used to get into fights with my parents(like most kids/teenagers) and i would say horrible things like "your not my real parents" etc...so if i actually knew my "real parents" it would have just been soo messy...there have to be so many rules and guidelines that it's just weird.

Thats why when you turn 18 you can search for your birth mom if you want- it should be a choice- not a forced relationship

Also i recently found out that my parents adopted a baby before me and it was an open adoption (mainly because my parents were desperate to just adopt already that they agreed to it). They named the baby, introduced her to family and friends, took her to disney world and everything and then they had to give her back because her birth mother would not stop blackmailing. This was so emotionally painful for my parents, that they did a closed adoption for me and my sister.

gypsywinter

""personally, if i adopted in an "open" adoption, I would close it because I see no reason to further confuse the child. When you surrender, you also surrender your right to know the child unless the adoptive family is kind enough to let you anyways""

And it is because of PAPs like you, why Open Adoption Agreements should be made LEGALLY Enforceable in a court of law, in every state. To purposefully lie to an Open Adoption agreement just to get the kid, is downright despicable and only shows your complete lack of character and trustworthiness. PAPs who lie and misrepresent themselves in the adoption process should be deemed 'unfit' to be adoptive parents.

â™¥Charlie loves Lucasâ™¥

I am open adopted and I believe close adoption is better. My donors always came to our house they asked-begged for money and job and they always told that we have to gave them what ever they want. So I finally press charges on.

Santa's Lil' Helper

As an adoptive mom of three children who were in open adoptions I would tell you I would NEVER do an open adoption again. This has affected the girls intensely. Broken promises, drunken visits, mind games and violent confrontations have lead to heartache and emotional problems for the girls.

Children are placed for adoption for a reason.

C Wood

I wish my adoption had been an open one. NY is not very helpful to adoptees. I really wish I had contact with my siblings. I don't think my mom would still be alive, and have no idea about my father, but I truly miss my siblings.

Those who would close adoptions where there is abuse have a good reason, but even those adoptees should be allowed to learn what they wish to learn once they are over 21.
cw

grapesgum

Open. Legally enforced. No person should be stripped of his/her identity and heritage.

No contact tho' if safety is an issue.

sandy

Open adoption is hard, even if both parties are wonderful people. My cousin had an open adoption (he was adopted into my family, but had contact with his real mom) and it was very hard for him and made things awkward when he was in college.

My Soldier is a daddy, too.

i would want an open adoption if i ever had to do that. i may not be able to take care of my child at the time, but if my child wants to stay in contact with me and have a relationship with me, i dont' want ot stop that

yeahright

Open all of the way. I think however clear expectations need to be set for both sides about what open adoptions are and what they mean to both parties and how they are feeling about things. Relationships can certainly evolve over time. I think a majority of of nmothers and adoptive parents are initially fine with open adoption with the best of intentions and basically both parties have no real idea what they are signing up for and the enormous amount of emotions that can effect the relationships that come with it. Most adoptive parents I know wish there was more interest / interaction.

rcsmith52107

i think that if a woman gives her child up for adoption then it should be a closed case . if she was woman enough to lay in the bed and have the baby she should have been woman enough to accept her resp. if she did not then she did not want the child in the first place. i would do closed adoption. now if a woman was raped then i would do open because , it was not her fault and she probablly could not deal with the stress along with choosen to keep the baby which was probably hard in the first place. so , i would then do open adoption to let that mother spend time and love her child.

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