Do you think someone giving up a child for adoption?

Mom of two

I would imagine that it depends how the situation is handled. Obviously, it would be ideal for her to parent her child. If she decides that this is not going to be a possibility for them, she should talk to a counselor about the best way to talk to her children about this. IF she decides to adopt, she can talk to a counselor paid for by the adoption agency, they are geared toward convincing you to adopt though, so she shouldn't do it unless she is convinced this is her only option. Our children are the 2nd and 3rd children our birth mom gave birth to and she is parenting the first. From what she tells me, her son is doing really well, he gets straight A's in school, she has a good relationship with him and she is now engaged to the birth father of all three children.

Gaia Raain II

Yes. And even if it doesn't, it's not worth the chance. She's making it work with the one(s) she has, she can make room for one more.

Alex M

Seeing mom dump one of your siblings wouldn't instill a sense of safety and security, I'm afraid. Too bad kids can't terminate parents as easily.

Lori A

How could they not? This child gets to be the one who wasn't good enough to keep, and there is a very good chance that is exactly the way they will see it. Good home or not, great parents or not, that thought will run through this child's head.

I like what Lillie suggested, maybe keep this one and surrender the oldest, it would be the same concept.

Make room and schedule that appointment.

Sophie

Yes.

Lillie

Perhaps she could keep the baby and give up the oldest child instead?

Either way, it wouldn't hurt either child any less.

Just some food for thought.

cerealkillerchicky

I can tell you the psychology will go something of this nature...."mommy did you hate the baby?" " will you get rid of us too?"
" why did you get rid of the baby mommy was it bad?" They will make her live guilt through their innocent questions.

Crucio

Its very possible that it could even more if the kids are older. Why is she considered placing her unborn child for adoption?

A think people should know and always keep in mind about protection is that nothing is 100% protection fails. I have family members they got pregnant with twins while on the pill and using condoms, this was 9 to 10 years ago. They were in their mid 30â€™s and had two children (4 and 5) at the time. They kept the twins even though at that time it was not a good place for them financial. Father had lost his job 9 months prior and was looking for a new job, they were really close to being evicted from their apartment. Mom was stay at home mother who made some things by knitting so they got a little income there, a little.

Laurel J

I know how it would make me feel if I were a kid. I'd wonder what would happen to me if there were ever any less money coming in. I'd wonder who was going to get given away next.

If she does this, she should strongly consider family counseling.

kateiskate

Relinquishment IS a loss. For everyone involved. Loss always affects you, no matter how hard you try to hide or deny that. I'm living proof of that.

LisaHW

I don't think it's good - that's for sure.

I don't know if she lives in the US or not, but an awful lot of people don't have much money but still find a way to feed their children (even if that means doing the whole food stamp, WIC, thing).

Felicita1

Yes, it will affect both the kept child and the surrendered child. Both children can end up with huge emotional issues.

The surrendered child will wonder why they were not good enough to keep, whereas the other sibling was.

The kept child will learn that any family member can be discarded and given away, which means that they could as well. It teaches them that the family relationship is impermanent and could be severed at any time. This is not the lesson you want to give to any child.

Why would your friend want to hurt her children this way? Why can't she keep her new child?

luckywife

all depends on the kid things have changed and people grow up differently

Independ"ant"

Absolutely......children love babies and can't wait for their little bro/sis to be born. Tell your friend that kids should never be separated and assist her in getting the help she needs.

Has she considered abortion. Kids don't need to know.

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