Do you think that someone who just doesn't want a baby, should (still) be allowed to place their children?

Mei-Ling

I'll be the Devil's Advocate and ask why.

There has to be a reason for it. There is no mother who doesn't want to parent for no apparent reason or conflict.

I'm assuming you mean a young woman who just wants to live life and accidentally got pregnant - who just doesn't want to hurt the baby and who loves the baby but just doesn't want to keep it?

IF she really just wanted to live a life WITHOUT parenting - not without loving the baby, but just NOT wanting to actually parent, even AFTER giving birth and looking her child in the eyes, then... I would think adoption is best.

BLW_KAM

A neighbor told me, "God made a mistake when he gave me a special needs child." She hands the child off to anyone (friend or stranger) she can con. She keeps the child drugged with adult meds to keep her calm. Her daughter virtually lived with us for years and asked me several times if she could call me "Mom".

The "mom" doesn't want to raise her own daughter, she thinks the rest of us should. She doesn't want to be bothered. The damage being done to this child is immeasurable and yet DCFS can do nothing because she isn't being "abused" in a classic sense.

If a mother doesn't want to be a mother, no court anywhere should force her to raise her child. I can't believe the loss of adoption will be worse than the loss of having a mom that never wanted you.

yeahright

Just as much as I can't walk in your shoes, you can't walk in the shoes of someone who wants to live their life with out having to care for a child for the next 18 years. End of story, for whatever reason. Who are we to question it or ask why unless they ask for it? She/he has her reasons. Yes, the courts should and DO do it all of the time.

She may have kept another child and her child after and still just didn't for whatever reason made sense to her at the time. They can and do it every single day.

One of the things I see a lot here is that there is an assumption that an AP is giving the child a "better life"--I would maybe agree with that in some cases--but I think a more accurate term might be just a "different life" than they would have had. Make sense? I've met nmothers who were perfectly capable of taking care of their children, and just didn't. I think when you use the word naive, it also applies to someone who says that doesn't happen very often.

Carol c

Absolutely. I agree that no mother should be forced to raise a child when she believes she isn't ready. It's her right to make that decision for herself.

On the other hand, I find it very difficult to believe that very few women who felt this way would actually give their child up if they felt they were getting the support they need to give the child a good life.

Santa's Lil' Helper

You are obviously ill informed as to the pain and trauma involved in being raised by parents who had no parental instincts from the beginning.

In this case adoption would be the best.

Does it really matter ?

of course. If a mother & father or lack of either don't want a baby or can't afford a baby or what ever their reason for giving the baby up wants to have it adopted I think the courts should grant it. There are millions of parents all over the country who would love to have their baby. Children deserve love attention and plenty of it so if a parent can't give it to them and they know they can't then they are some of the best parents by realizing they can't do so and want to give their baby a better life.

Crucio

If someone does not want to parent for whatever reason they should not be prevented from placing their baby for adoption. Every child should be able to be raised by a parent or parents that truly want them. It is not going to be good for a child to be raised by someone who they can sense and tell just by their parents behavior that they donâ€™t want the kid and are just putting up with the child. That is not a healthy environment for someone to be raised in and I would imagine that the child would develop issues and problems because of that. Now we know some adoptees can develop issues and problems being adopted so it seems like a child in this case could have the potential to develop issues and or problems whatever happened. Though hopefully if they were adopted it would be by a parent or parents who truly wanted the child.

AdoreHim

So if the young woman does not want to parent yet, she should keep the baby anyway? If she is not wanting to parent, why do you think she should be a mother. Are you saying it would be better to abort than to adopt? Please don't tell me that is what you are saying?

Nurse Autumn Intactivist NFP

She should have a freaking abortion already, while the child has no concept of his/her existence.

What would hurt worse, not existing (and therefore not feeling) or being given to strangers because your mother could not be bothered with raising you?

me =)

Then, they should give it to a relative or someone who really wants the child and then if they want the kid later then they can get it

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