Do you think there's an age where a parent is too OLD to place their baby for adoption?

sizesmith

The reasons for placing children, even when financial reasons appear to be the problem, are usually far more reaching.

Let's face fact. Many people don't have money because they lack job skills, organizational skills, work ethic, and many lose jobs repeatedly because of various mental illnesses such as depression, schizophrenia, and others.

I truly believe that an older woman who places her child is more educated about what she can and can't do. I know of 2 women who reached their late 30's, both were recently divorced, and both ended up placing babies in their 30's, through open adoption, because they had been raising kids all their lives, and didn't want to again. Their situations had stabilized, but hadn't improved in the past few years. Health reasons, both known at the time, and things likely to happen, such as every woman in the family having breast cancer in their 40's-would that be fair to be bringing up a toddler?

So many women, regardless of age, their past, and even their future, decide to place their children for a number of reasons that are very, very personal to them. It's having to admit their worst fears in some ways, and their worst problems by placing a child, yet so many are talked into keeping babies, only to lose them to the foster care system later on. If a child isn't wanted, a mother shouldn't be coerced into keeping them. I do also believe that every mother who's placing a child should be mandated into counseling before, during the birth time, and after placement before the time of stopping relinquishment is up, and again after placement is permanent. A 40 year old woman knows her rights much more than a 17 year old, and a 40 year old usually has more confidence into saying her mind. I also think that every woman, regardless of age, and every other aspect of difference, should be asked away from every other person involved that it is the decision that SHE wants to do. I do know of women who've placed, because their man told them to, only to later lose him after the adoption took place. At that point, it's tooooooo late.

Keturah

While researching the many issues of fertility and child birth I have read many cases of women who fall pregnant in their early 40's who have already raised their family. I think that age there is an entirely new set of reasons why the mother and / or father do not feel it is preferrable that they raise another baby. I think their reasons are just as acceptable as the reasons that mothers have at other ages

manda_jns

My childs birthmom was 38 years old. he wasn't young but she wasn't in the situation to parent a child. She felt it best to place her child with a family that could provide the best for him. She didn't have any support from the father or her family. In her situation she did what was best. I guess it just depends on the situation. I wouldn't say age is the issue just the situation.

carrie

Well, my birth mom was 24, and I often wonder why she did not at least try. I supose if you have it in ya to give your kid away, its not likely to cahange as you age.

the_rockstar_bassoonist

If it's a financial issue, they should let you, ditto with learning disabilities. (Kind of a tender subject, but this is being told to you by a person with Autism, mind you.)
But that's just my opinion. I could be off by a landslide. Just sayin'.

monkeykitty83

I don't think age is a primary issue.

Is the mother aware of all the resources available to help her parent? Has she received adequate encouragement and emotional support, if she's feeling desperate or beaten down? Does she know all the options available to her? Has she seriously considered parenting, but decided against it?

If the answer to those questions is "yes," it doesn't strike me as more or less selfish whether she's sixteen or thirty. If the answer to any of them is "no," then she needs support and counseling-- again, regardless of her age. Anyone's situation can change, for better or worse. I think it's more important to make sure the mother is fully informed of her options, and makes a decision free of pressure and coercion, than to fret about her age on either end of the spectrum.

Chrissy

First of all, it is a couple's perogative to choose whether or not they want to parent a child. It doesn't matter what age you are, if you dont feel ready, or you're not physically/mentally/emotionally ready to parent a child, then giving that child up for adoption is the most SELFLESS thing any one person can do. Take it from me, I'm adopted. Being given up, was one of the best things my birth mother could've done for me.

Dickie Spank

hia

no because sometimes a 30 or 40 year old does not have the money to take care of the baby and give the child a good life.

concerned parent 08

it does seem like someone that old should own up to their responsibilities, plus parenting comes naturally to most

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