Do you think this is wrong of me??? I don't want to be in the wrong?

Linny G

"When you read questions on here with People wanting to give their child/children up for adoption, do you feel it is okay to tell them you will Gladly adopt them?"

Ummm, NO. It's MORALLY WRONG, and its also against TOS. This is not a place to get your hands on a baby.

Most of the people who come on here and say they are going to give their baby up are trolls. But every once in a while, it is a scared young girl. For ANYONE to contact her is despicable, predatory and immoral.

What if YOU were that girl's mother? Oh yeah....I forgot.

Adoption should NEVER be about YOUR wants. It's about the child.

Kim

Some people probably think it is wrong and some might not. It is not something I would personally feel comfortable doing, but there are others who do not agree with my adoption choices (international adoption) either, so I am not throwing stones.

However, regardless of personal thoughts on the matter, all forms of "soliciting" are against the Terms of Service of Yahoo Answers, so it is definitely wrong to do it here. (The "will anyone adopt my baby?" posts would also be inappropriate.)

Flying Monkey #073177

NO! NO! NO! Bad idea, horrid idea actually.

You have no way of knowing who these people are. They have no way of knowing you. It is a shot in the dark and very much a gamble to approach pregnant women in this way. There have been numerous stories in the news of women finding adoptive parents online and using them for cash then never producing a child. There are even stories of women who have no intentions of placing their child for adoption stringing along multiple couples at a time, all the while procuring funds from them. This is a very risky way to go about adoption. If you choose this route and are defrauded of your hard earned cash you deserve to loose every penny.

The moral and ethical side of this is very wrong as well. There is a reason we have programs like foster to adopt and agencies to handle adoptions. They are designed to give some stability to the enterprise of adoption. It allows both sides to have the legal side taken care properly as well as crucial counselling and a support structure of sorts. Attempting a private adoption online makes the adoption very open to coercion and even illegalities that could render the adoption invalid or illegal.

DevonChaos

YES! It is HORRIBLY wrong. If you cannot go through the proper channels with foster care to help a child who is truly in need, there is something wrong. Correct THAT situation, before you go taking children from desperate women online. It is SO wrong!! You will never know the full situation getting into something like this with a stranger. You will never know if perhaps this baby's father wants the child, but the mother wants to keep it on the down-low so he will never find the child. You will never know the real motivations for the adoption.

If you feel so desperate, I highly suggest seeking professional help. You might need to mourn your not having children and fully understand why you want one so badly.

I cannot believe that someone of your age would consider doing something so shady.

monkeykitty83

I know you don't mean it badly, but doing so would not only be wrong, but potentially dangerous.

People on the internet can say they're anyone, and you have no way of knowing whether or not it's true. You don't know if that anxious teen expectant mother you're "talking" to is really pregnant... or is even really female. Scam artists unfortunately prey on people like you, and contacting through Yahoo to try to adopt shows your desperation, and makes you the ideal scam victim. It's not safe for you.

It's also not safe for expectant mothers and children if there are placements for adoption via matches arranged on this site. Any predator could claim to want to "adopt" a child, and really plan to abuse them. Even in situations not that extreme, the mother could be bullied, threatened, or extorted to give her child away, since you wouldn't be going through legal channels. Please don't encourage women and children being put in these dangerous situations by increasing the potential for this site to be seen as an adoptive matching service.

Soliciting for a minor child (even for adoption) is against the terms of service for this site-- as it should be, because it puts people in danger of scams and abuse. Please either continue to go through foster care or use a reputable agency if you want to adopt. Doing so through Yahoo is neither proper nor safe. Protect yourself and others by not doing it.

Anha S

Yes, its wrong, for many many reasons that not only have to do with the baby in question but you. Why on earth if you had issues losing foster children would you want to try to adopt and infant off of Y!A. Are you asking to be bamboozled? I don't get why anyone would even think that attempting to get a baby off this site could be in anyone's best interests, including their own.

If you are looking into pre birth matching, and yes, if you are trying to hook up with a pregnant woman on Y!A, that's what it would be, is one of the most coercive forms of adoption. I find that morally and ethically questionable. ETA all these people saying yay go ahead...yikes, just yikes. When did it become ok to prey on a woman in a crisis situation to satisfy ones own needs?! What about the baby who would one day find out oh ya we got you off Y!A. Babies aren't some commodity. ANyone who gave a rat's patoot about the feelings and the best interests of the child would NOT do something like you are suggesting

Plus, any time I see one of those answers where people say oh we would gladly adopt your baby, and give out their personal information, and ask to be contacted I get a big bad sense of the deep down willies. Its gross, crass, and just wrong. Please find other channels through which to adopt, above board, legally, ethically, and morally legit ways.

kateiskate

Yes. I think it is morally and ethically wrong to solicit women online for their babies. Since you are corresponding online, you really have no way to know who you are really talking to or what their motives or intentions might be. I hope it has occurred to you that same as there are paps trolling for babies, there are probably also those trolling to take advantage of someone who is "running out of time" who will wire them money for their "baby" that may or may not even exist.

The way the world is now, I would not even risk it. You have to be proactive in protecting yourself against scams and identity theft.

Rowan

It is very wrong, and not safe. I saw this special on tv about a woman willing to give up her baby via online communications and phones calls. She played a bunch of people, all like you, wanting a child very badly. Shed get peoples money, and then, stop calling, and hut off her cell phone. All lines of communication cut. AND it came to light, when she was finally caught, she wasnt even pregnant!

Now granted, this is worst case, but still do yourself a favor and do NOT look on the internet.

Independ"ant"

I think you need serious therapy like many girls in your position.

Your desire to give birth and raise a child is NORMAL.

Your desire to hunt down other women for their children is NOT NORMAL.

Mom to Foster Children

If you want a child so badly then why are you giving up on Foster Care? Is it that you want a baby and not a child? In the state of NE there are hundreds and hundreds of children who have no homes and are free for adoption?

tish_part deux

yes. it's wrong.

although you are financially limited, many young women who come on this board are scared, ambivalent, and are looking for support. in other words, their "bad" experience should not be used as a means to help you score a kid, on the cheap.

no. just no.

if you are a foster parent, i'm unsure why you were not able to adopt. many kids in the foster care system are available.

ladybmw1218

Soliciting for adoption in any way (from either side) is illegal in my state. I also think it's unethical, and possibly dangerous (scams and such).

Just not a good idea all around.

Adoptionissadnsick

Samantha,
please look to other avenues to feel complete or whole or whatever.
A child should not be your vice to fill a longing or a void.
If you can not naturally reproduce then please find a way to be at peace within yourself.
Adoption is morally wrong AS IT IS CURRENTLY PRACTICED in the USA, do some more research if you need confirmation of that. In fact you must already realize that based on the profit or cost of adopting. It is ugly.
For what it's worth, in my childhood it was always the childfree couples who seemed to have the energy, time or resources to brighten my youthful years. There are many kids who need a little extra nurturing and parents who could use a break or a little help. Instead of pining for parenthood, make a difference in some one's life now.

Helena B

ur no different than some online predater. sick sick sick.

Camira B

First off, I agree that it is wrong, for all the reasons stated. What I really wanted to add though is you shouldn't give up on foster care. If your issue with it is having the children for a while and then having them reunited with parents or switching foster homes, etc, you can request "legally free" children only. These are children whose parents have already had their rights terminated so they are available for adoption and you generally don't have to worry about getting them removed.

And just so you know, if you did a private adoption, there is still a chance the mother could change her mind, as it is her right to do so. So, even with private adoption, there are no guarantees and with the questionable ethics involved, foster care is just a much better option.

andreab11

that is amazing... im glad there are people out there like you and your husband...people who are willing to help unfortunate children... give them a chance in the world when they were delt a not so good first hand. I would go ahead and ask away!

LovetheLORDfirst

Have you tried Associated Catholic Charities? You should be able to adopt a child 7 or over for free, paying only the cost of the homestudy which runs about $1,000. These are the kids that Really need you, and many of them have no, little, or minimal "problems." Plus, before you adopt, you will see their entire file and have as much time as you want to get to meet with them, their foster parents, teachers, doctors, etc.

No, I do not think it is always wrong to tell people on here you want to adopt; however, you will receive a lot of flack for it because any offers like that are somewhat coercing a pregnant mom into giving up her baby, something she (and the child) could regret/ resent for the rest of their lives.

If you feel called to adopt, please help an American child in need. Don't ignore your calling. Good luck, and God bless you!

sundragonjess

I don't think it is wrong, but alot of people on here do. If you put that in the answer, they will report you for "advertising". They reported me before...

Mom of 1 & Expecting!

Samantha, ignore the idiots. Would they rather the girl give the child to a DIFFERENT person on the internet? Obviously. And that's what would happen.

You sound like a truly lovely person and I hope things work out for you and your husband. Ignore the stupid comments about preying on a young girl. What nonsense! (But you already know that, right?)
My sister tried for years to adopt, and eventually a girl contacted them who saw their profile on their homemade website. They adopted a little boy who is now nearing three and are so ridiculously happy. The birth mother was *looking* for a loving couple to adopt her child, and found my sister and brother-in-law. There was nothing predatory about this. And the ignorant comments I see here floor me.

I wish you all the luck in the world. You are relatively young, so please please don't give up. I'll be thinking about you. :-)

(And to the unhappy fools that will thumbs down me: haaaa! Life is better without the bitter attitude.)

Nicole C

Hi my name is Nicole and I am adopted.
I know from personal experiance that being adopted is great.
It gives the baby a chance to have a good life.
My parents love me unconditionaly.
Though I dont know my real parents its ok because my parents now love me so much I dont even feel like I am adopted.
It definitley dont think it is wrong.
The baby you adopt will love u.
And I can tell that u will be a wonderful mother.

The Bad

People put ads in personals as adoptive parents and I have seen ads in the back of baby magazines from parents wanting to adopt, so I don't see anything wrong with what you are proposing! I am not sure many people will take you seriously, but it only takes ONE!!! Good luck and I hope you find a child to call your own!!

The Natural Mommy

I don't think it is wrong.
That baby needs love, and if for some reason the parents can't be the ones to do it - then why not you.
Keep on asking! I hope it pans out for you one day.

Lisa Marie

Of course that wouldn't be wrong. If someone is telling you their child needs a home and you are up for the task of parenting that child it is a great idea.

With the fostering have you asked for children who are legal risk? Those children are most likely not returning home. Talk to your case worker and ask if you can foster legal risk children only. A good friend of mine adopted 4 infants this way.

Good luck! I hope you become a mother soon!

volleybabe021

I don't think that is wrong at all!
You want a child and you can't have one...if someone else is going to be putting their child up for adoption then by all means you should see if you can be the new parent.
I really hope that everything works out for you!

Mommy to 11 month old Jacob

I'd not post that as your answer but try to email them through the yahoo system. You still have to go through lots of legalities but it probably won't cost as much.

Enter Your Message or Comment

User Name:
User Email:
Post a comment: