Does adoption mediation work?

Has anyone ever experienced an adoption with both parties agreeing before the adoption that the adoptive parents will allow the birth Families to have contact with the children after all papers are finalized? they intend to have it included in the adoption papers. I have read that if at a later date one of the parties involved wishes to discontinue contact it can be modified to enforce that wish. any experiences with that? Has anyone had an experience where they agreed to the adoption based on the assumption that they would not lose contact? And then lost contact anyway.
Additional Details
This is an adoption between a foster family and parents who will be having their parental rights terminated soon. the grandmother wants to make sure she can keep contact with the children as she expects to adopt 2 other children in this family. I talked to the caseworker about adopting these children(I'm a relative) . they support the foster parent adopting. they have lived w/her 6 months. It seems since I showed interest that things are being expedited and moving toward the adoption phase. I'm talking in the space of 3 days. hearings have been pushed up by 2 months , etc... the caseworker said I didn't have a chance to adopt them. If so, why the sudden rush to adopt them to their foster parent? It's interesting to sat the least. they seem to be agreeing to almost anything to have the bio-family agree to the adoption to the foster parent. makes me wonder if what I read about money being given for "stranger" adoptions is true. thanks for any info.

MamaKate

I was promised "open"adoption - even had details written out and signed by all the adults PRIOR to the adoption. All went well until my son decided (on his own at age 2) to call me "MamaKate". Then I was cut off.

I had to FIGHT to get the APs to even go to the previously agreed upon "mediation in the event of a disagreement". They were TOTALLY uncooperative - even the mediator (who the APs CHOSE) said so. I have several letters from him including one where the mediator flat out says the APs are uncooperative and he feels they have "deep-seated personal issues" and he feels sorry for my family and the children.

I have been waiting over a decade for them to "come around".

So much for promises - "open" adoption contracts aren't worth the paper they are written on if the parties concerned are unscrupulous.

"It's interesting to sat the least. they seem to be agreeing to almost anything to have the bio-family agree to the adoption to the foster parent." RED FLAG.

Fit biological family members should take precedence over strangers...

I hope that this situation works out for your family and especially this child. He or she deserves this situation to work for his or her benefit - including access to biological family.

mom of many

from what I have heard, open adoption is not enforceable. As a foster parent myself, I have seen that the social workers look at the whole picture. If the relatives are as close to the children as they claim, then why didn't they go for custody when they were first placed in foster care. Why wait 6 months?

Flying Monkey #073177

Open adoptions are NOT legally enforceable in most areas. I was promised an open adoption but have not heard from the adoptive family in over eleven years, there isn't a damn thing I can do about it either.

Lillie

I wonder if any of the "parties involved" includes the children.

What if THEY want to have contact?

Sadly, the one who is MOST affected by adoption, the adoptee, is never allowed that option for themselves.

â™¥â™¥Ritaâ™¥â™¥

Only recently have I encountered this in my job although the "ploy" is being [pushed by jackbooted lawyers........nothing I have or ever will agree with becasue they mean nothing when it is all said and done.

Anyhow, in my opinion with what I have seen and with what you are explaining, it is a ploy being spearheaded to move the adoption along and satisfy the "other players"....so no one will question anything and then when the adoption is finalized.....the doors will close.

This is basically an "open adoption".....and they are not enforceable and totally mold-able to suit those who have the kids.

Stranger adoptions and kinship adoptions are catalogued and reported as adoptions....they are not differentiated by the States and as such stranger placements do not gain any more money incentives for the state than kin placements. In fact, ASFA has a clause where more money is given to the states to place with kin than with strangers....I would bet a weeks salary that the caseworker and the foster parent have a better than average rapport and "this is such a good placement for these kids....and they BELONG there.....". So don't beleive what is written by a few on this forum about stranger placement/adoptions...it is cr@p.

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