Does an adoptee have the right to be raised in the religion he/she was born in?

LaurieDB

I have heard first parents who specifically asked that their child be placed with a family of a certain religion. For the ones who found it this wasn't honored, they were quite unhappy. For some people relinquishing, religion IS important and it IS something they consider.

This is an issue of particular concern when it comes to adopting older children who are already members of a religious body. It is wrong to take that child's religion from him/her and expect the child to join the religion of the rest of the afamily. Spiritual beliefs are very core for many people. I, for one, could never give up my spiritual beliefs. It just wouldn't happen. Yes, there are children who are mature enough in their spiritual beliefs and understandings to feel the same way. It is vital to respect this.

Freckle Face

Great question.

We were Catholic. We decided to try Baptist, Lutheran , nondenominational, etc.... trying new churches in our area for a good fit for our family. We are now Lutheran. The same religion as our daughters first mother.

This summer the only project we have to do as a family, is to research our new Ethiopian culture and how we can incorporate this new culture into our lives. We would be very open to continuing her religion. We already say dinner prayers in her language and religion. Hopefully, I'll know more by the end of summer. I don't know of any guidelines. I usually have to do all the footwork myself.

The last thing we would want to do is strip our daughters of their cultures, their faiths, or their first families. We want them to always have a good foundation of who they are as people and where they came from. Our goals are to raise happy, healthy, well adjusted young women. We would be open to anything that would be in the best interests of our children, even changing our religion.

So yes, we do all of this because we believe children thru adoption have rights to their religion, culture and any other basic connection to their first families roots.

Gaia Raain

I slept on this, and I'm pretty content with my answer. My husband and I have VERY different religions. He's Christian, and I'm Eclectic Pagan. Wow, what a combo, eh? But we get along great, and we respect each other. That said, our plan has always been to teach our child about every religion we can think of, and give THEM the choice.

So, I guess my answer is that the child should have the right to choose for him/herself. This shouldn't even be decided by the parents...or, if it is, the parents should respect the child's decision if s/he decides later in life to pursue a different spiritual path. But I think that should be true for all people.

i think most people especially in the case of international adoption try to teach the culture to the child. It is hard if you got a child from an orphanage to know the child's religion though. You can make a guess by what most of the population is but you will never know. Also if the family is Christian they may think that observing Buddha or Hindu is pagan and will make them go to hell. I think the adoptee has a right to be exposed and know their culture not just once or twice but everyday. make a meal or two from their country or ethnic group and exposed to the religion but they will be raised i the adopted families religion they can all ways make a choice to change later. We all have that choice i was raised in one religion as a child and i am another one now

dustylou

I would hope the birth parents would choose adoptive parents that are the same religion. When that is not an option (like if the baby is adopted from China and is buddhist) I think they should try to include that into the family. They need to keep the child close to their heritage and often times that heritage involves a certain religion. It doesn't mean they necessarily have to practice it, but it should be talked about and included in the teaching of the culture.

Problem Child

What a good question! I know that for a long time, inter-racial adoptions weren't allowed because, as the argument went, a couple from another race wouldn't teach the child about their culture.
Religion is a similar matter imo. I imagine that the bio parents are able to choose what they want if they choose the adopting parents. But in situations like orphanages in China, for example, do they even necessarily know what religion the child was born into? If the country is primarily one religion, then I guess the assumption could be made that this is the religion, but it's hard to say. If the religion is known, then yes, I think the child should absolutely have the right to be taught that religion and it's practices.
It all seems so random. This part of being adopted has always weirded me out, that I could have been adopted into a myriad of different scenarios. As a matter of fact, my first mom is a Wiccan priestess, but I was raised a Christian. I knew nothing about Wicca until I met her and did some reading on my own. I wonder what it would have been like and how my views might have differed if I had been brought up learning about that as a religion instead of, or in addition to Christianity?

wynn

This was a very important issue to us. We agreed when we adopted internationally that we would make a serious effort to keep our kids in touch with their culture. In the cultures our kids are from, religion is an important part of the culture, so we can't ignore it.

One of our children is from a Buddhist family. When we found his mother, we got permission to raise him with a knowledge of that and Christianity, so our whole family goes to the Buddhist temple with a family we are friends with from his country. My husband and I had already been studying Buddhism anyway, and two of my siblings are Buddhist.

Our other two children are from Africa. Their family say they were members of a Christian Coptic church, but they don't care what religion their children are raised so long as there is a spiritual aspect to their lives. Those kids were adopted as older children, and they protest mightily that their family never went to church and they shouldn't have to either. They also say that in their own culture, children their age (6 & 4) get to stay home alone all the time. They'd like to stay home & watch cartoons while mom and dad go pray. :) I admire their spirit.

Jessla

I do not have experience with this, but I would assume that your child would feel more confident about their religion if it is the same one that you practice. I would think it could be confusing to them. I would not force a religion on a child, but rather let religion find them. So that it is natural.

momof3boys

Most adoptive parents will atleast try to bring some piece of the culture into it but I don't think they keep with the religion unless maybe if they adopt an older child that is use to that religion and is having hard time switching. When adopting and infant though they don't have a religion yet really so they could be brought into a new religion without problem. Culture though is the big factor, when you adopt children from another country or race/nationality they need exposure to their cultural history.

azroadrunner05

I believe any child should get to choose their religion, at least after a certain age. Of course the parents should "teach" the religion that they believe in, but I think they should also accept that the child, adopted or biological, may not follow that religion. If it is an older child being adopted, they will most likely have firm beliefs about religion already and I believe that the parents need to respect those beliefs. This is why parents need to look at things like this before adopting instead of assuming that the child will conform to their way of life without problems.

Jennifer L

We adopted older children from a foreign country that was roughy a 50-50 Christian/Muslim split. We did not know until the adoption was finished, what religion the children were raised in and what religion their birthfamily was. As it turned out, they were raised Christian and so are we. But we were fully prepared to contact our local mosque and facilitate their participation in their religion of origin.

It's not a requirement, per se, but it is respectful. There are a lot of people adopting from Ethiopia right now, which is a primarily Muslim country. I hope these children are allowed to continue practicing their religion and not feeling pressured to covert. Again, it's respectful.

We also take great care to preserve culture, which includes making expensive trips to ethnic hair salons for microbraiding (which I can't do!), learning to cook African foods and having friendship with African immigrant families in our city.

Doodlestuff

There are no rules. Unless you are adopting a native American, you can raise the child in whatever religion you practice.

I do know that a lot of women who adopted Asian children make an effort to learn about the culture their children came from and celebrate some of those holidays. But it is really hard, for instance, to embrace a multi-theistic religion when you believe in one God. It's even harder when the country from which you are adopting has an official 'no religion' policy even though there is a widespread underground religion.

opedial

Many cultures come with different religions, and if possible you can see what the birth parents prefernce is/was. We ourselves don't practice any religion, but we put that upfront for our adoption so we didn't want anyone giving their children up to have any misnomers about it.

We are happy though to expose any children to a variety of religions and let them choose. If they come in with a predominant one that is enriched in one's culture, then that child should have been adopted by a person already practicing that religion. This is where matching children with parents that meet everyone's needs is most important.

ETA Old Fashioned Mom: I agree to some degree but then don't take a child with a certain religion. In North America Europeans came and adopted out copious amounts of Aboriginal/First Nation/Indian children who lost all sense of their culture and became "christianized". This is paramount to cultural genocide.

angelynn_126

I think its a difficult decision on the part of the parents. I do think that the parents should be more open minded about religion - ie, some deeply christian families who have adopted from China have strongly refused to have their new child blessed by the buddist monks, as is traditional, stating that its wrong and blasphemous. But if they are willing to take up some of the Chinese culture, this also comes into it, as its part of the country. I think its important that the child be taught about both religions, rather than saying one is bad.

sunny

I think that one an adoption is final, the child is STRIPPED of every right they ever had. It's all about AP rights.

I certainly had that happen to me.

rhsaunders

Until reaching majority, a child has few rights. The adoptive parents basically get to say what the child should do, but if the child is of an age to be able to reach his own conclusions, obviously he can think as he chooses.

Adoption is A-OK!

No, Absolutely not.

hmmm, i should clairfy that i am speaking about infant aedoptions. At that point the infant has practiced anything so we're not taking anything away from him/her. But i feel that i am adopting this child to raise as my own and not someone else's standards or requests. I know we're not going to see eye to eye on this but if there wasn't a practiced religion before and the aparents are lutheran, does that mean they shouldn't take him/her to church since he didn't practice before?

however, if it was a 9 year old foster adopt, then yes, he/she should be allowed to continue in their current religion if that's what they want.

Jelly tots

I am with you all of the way here.

This is the problem I have with say someone who is english, adopting from india.

I think its in the childs best to know their culture. I think its actually in the childs best, to stay within their culture.

It would be nice to think that adoptees are being baught up with a bit of their culture still in them.

BPD Wife

I think there are two sides to this in some respects. Many people are referring to culture. I believe that religion and culture need to be addressed separately.

First, I do not feel that an adoptee has a "right" to be raised in the religion he/she was born into. Perhaps for me, this is a sensitive subject, as my son was born to bio parents who are Wiccan. My thought is this....I have a responsibility as an AP to do what I feel is in the best interest of my minor child. If my son's bio parents did not feel education was important and dropped out of High School, that would not give my son the "right" to do the same thing. We send our kids to school to educate them so that they can make their own decisions as adults. I feel the same way about religion. If my son decides once he is an adult to change religions, that is his choice but at least I gave him (what I feel) were the fundamentals needed to make a solid decision.

With regards to culture, I do feel that as an AP, I have a responsibility to my son to teach him about his culture and heritage. Just as I would have the same responsibility to teach a bio child the same. I feel that culture and heritage are different than practicing religion. Perhaps religion in cases of international adoption becomes more a part of the culture aspect, but I would then educate my child in that religion so, again, as he became an adult, he could make his own decisions.

Old Fashioned Mother

Only if they had practised it for any amount of time. It's generally up to the parents what religious choices they make for their children.
If a child has never lived something, how could it be their culture? You don't acquire a culture when you are born, it is something you are born (or adopted) into. Religion is part of culture.

EDIT: Because that is what happens when a child joins a family, be it through birth or adoption. Our girls are raised by our religious beliefs, as we are the parents. If for some reason they were ever placed for adoption, naturally their 'new' parents would raise them in the religious beliefs of their family.
Naturally for an older child it would be necessary to allow them to follow links to their previous life, but a baby or toddler adapts to the parent's and family's lifestyle, culture and customs, whether they're adopted or not.

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