Does anybody else hate it when complete strangers call you "honey" or "sweetie"?

snowwillow20

Not just on here, but I hate it when sales clerks call me sweetie or hun.

Lanieáƒ¦â€¢Â°

I am one of those people who say it. I am sorry its a habbit after working with kids.

Lola

Babe, i do that all the time!!!

It's called being personable. Sometimes it helps with the connection, since this is all writing on the wall and no facial features or body language to go by. I use terms of endeerment to let people know that i sympathize with their issue, whether my answer is positive or negative.

I think it's more creepy when old men do it.

Michele J

If it truly bothers you....why engage?

nashvillekat

It doesnt bother me, most of my female teachers call me sweetie, and my grandmother has always called me that, so I am use to it.

sunny

Is this the 'adoption' section?

This seems like a question for Emily Post...

Is this your biggest problem, the day before Thanksgiving? Instead of reflecting about all the things you're thankful for, you're obsessing about someone using a term of endearment to address you?

Obviously you don't live in the American South like I do--you be offended ALL the time, sugar!

Kendra Leigh

How does this question relate to adoption, sweetie?? ;)

And, for the record...calling people honey, sweetie, doll or any other cutsie names does not mean people are "struggling with their self esteem". I have plenty of self esteem and I always call people names like that. I've not once been told that I've offended someone and I always get a smile out of them. That's the main reason I do it...to make people smile...not to offend them. :)

Happy Thanksgiving!

~Kendra Sweetie~

dory

Nah, I'm pretty laid-back and mellow by nature so I don't mind when people use endearing terms. There are much worse things in the world to bunch my panties then someone calling me honey.

jennifer l

I don't know about other areas, but here in the south it's just a common term used in a friendly atmosphere.
I don't believe your self-esteem claim for a minute, though, seeing as it's usually out-going, friendly people that feel comfortable enough to use a term of endearment.
If you have a problem with someone calling you honey or sweetie, say something. I work in a restaurant and use those terms often. If someone told me it made them uncomfortable, I would apologize and refrain from using those terms on them. However, if you don't speak up, it's your own fault that it happens repeatedly.

amyburt40

Honey that is a southerner expression. You must be a yankee. Sweetie, visit the south and you will see what I am talking about. What the heck is this doing in the adoption section.

Sweetnlow

I think you might need to get over yourself a bit. You can convince yourself that people with low self esteem only use that term, but it appears that YOU are the one who is insecure.

I mean really, who gets bothered by that? Get a life!

Oh and why is it that you are so paranoid about Joy M having multiple profiles? is it because YOU have multiple profiles?

punxy_girl

I confess to using "sweetie" when addressing someone here who I think is in emotional turmoil. It is my way of giving a hug or pat on the back since the written word is all I have. If I've used it with you, I'm sorry if I've offended you.

Doodlestuff

Honey, you need to get over your little foibles. It is actually a common cultural practice. It's a whole lot better than saying hey you.

concerned

Oh yes I hate that, I much prefer being called an anti-adoption nazi. In fact I've asked my husband to please start calling me his little nazi.

Justice

Actually I think it's kind of nice. It gives a friendlier feeling to the place.

It's a lot better than some of the other terms I've heard around here.

Rebecca L

It very much depends on the age of the person doing the "honey"-ing and "sweety"-ing. Older people often call people honey or sweety and think nothing of it. That's part of their culture. If a younger man were to do so, however, I would be creeped out and avoid the person thereafter.

Heather B

I'm sure when adopters and their little adoptlings meet for the first time there are a few terms of endearment used and they are complete strangers! KWIM?

Does that mean the adopters have low self esteem then? if they meet a strangers child and immediately start calling them "sweetie cutie honey pie" etc etc etc

Or do they just say "GOTCHA!" (not so endearing)

grapesgum

Not from the south but I thoroughly enjoy my business trips there where I am treated like a distinguished lady due to my position in my organization. (They would drop their jaws if they saw the little dirt farm where I grew up.).

I would much rather be called a "honey" or "sweetie" than a Nazi who should have been sterilized at birth. I guess it all depends on your perspective.

Maureen S

I am sorry you feel that way. To me it is a term of friendship and endearment. No I don't think that people that use this phrase are struggling with self esteem and intimacy issued, I think they are probably like myself. I don't often call anybody honey, but when I do it is because I like them, or they may be laughing at a child, doing something nice, being nice to the cashier. Maybe the cashier is being nice to the customer and she calls them "honey".

I am confused as to why you take an innocent, endearing remark and turn it into something negative. You cannot put everybody in a box and say because they say "honey" they have something emotionally wrong with them. My husband and I love people and children and are always talking to them and smiling at those that are making this world a better place.

If we could turn the negativity into something positive, and think that maybe the people that use that word, are kind, gentle, giving people, that mean no harm to anyone and are pretty well adjusted and happy.

Please don't pick on the positive words, eak out the negative, vulgar, crude, prejudicial, sarcastic, bigoted words, and then it will mean something.

Be happy!

Peace and love

Possum

WOW - you really need to get a life.

Julie R

This is an abysmally petty question and unrelated to adoption, unless you are actually acknowledging that many adopted people end up with self-esteem and intimacy issues. Which they do. Because their feelings and losses are so often dismissed by their adoptive parents - like some we see here on this forum. Is that why you posted this in the Adoption section?

Andraya

"I am tired of people who blame all their problems on being called honey"

Quote from one amazing chickie, a true sweetie I am proud to call honey!

Aaron's Mommy & 13 weeks #2

I can't say I hate it but it is weird. It happens a lot to me in restaurants by usually older waitresses.

Being too annoyed by complete strangers is as bad as calling a complete stranger honey.

julie j

I find it sweet & endearing.

.vato.

As another poster said, I only do it to degrade people when complete strangers are being rude to me. "Honey, you really are one to talk about education when you can't even write a sentence correctly..." Most people who do it know that the other person will hate it which is the reason they do. LOL! If someone is being smart with me I just try to kill them with kindness which is very hard at times.

â€Bugseyâ€

I say "hun" as a form of degrading someone. Like: "You may want to stay awake during spelling/grammar class, hun."

noodlesmycat

I'm guilty of it. I use it when I'm feeling motherly towards someone or know that I'm older than someone else or they really are sweet. I live in the south and always liked it when ladies said it to me when I was little.

Now if someone is using it to belittle and degrade someone else, yes. They're being rude, spiteful, and condescending.

Miss

Using such terms as “honey, hon, baby, sweetie, darlin or darling” is definitely a southern cultural norm. However, I didn’t start hearing people use those terms in reference to me with more regularity until I began to openly wear my Hijab in the work place. Then, the more I expressed that I did not feel comfortable with their use and preferred to be called by my name many more people in the work place began using the terms. Only the women though, the men never addressed me in that way in fear of a law suit I presume. I no longer work for that company. I live in a small city so word travels fast. Now I can’t go anywhere without having to tell someone (a woman) I prefer not to be referenced in that way. At my last job one individual (a woman), after explaining my discomfort with the term(s), just stopped addressing me completely. Then, whenever I was around a particular group of employees (all women of course) they would start conversing with one another being sure to add in a “honey, baby, etc.” at the beginning and end of every sentence. When they realized they were not going to get a response from me they stopped. Maybe not in all cases but, definitely in my case the terms were used with a degrading intent. I’ve experienced many accounts of the terms being used in and outside of the work place. Some people respect my asking not to be called “hon, etc.” and welcome the use of my name others get offended and angry. Just recently I was escorted to the customer service desk at a local retail establishment due to a computer issue the cashier couldn’t figure out. When the supervisor was finally able to resolve the matter she said “here you go darling or hon.” I politely but firmly said “please call me (name inserted) I prefer not to be called darling or hon.” She was obviously handling a stressful situation with the store’s computers and what I thought was a simple request wasn’t so simple to her. She snapped with a “if I knew what your name was I would’ve used it.” I replied, ”you don’t have to know a person’s name to not call them out of their name.”

Lynn

I think if you don't know the person you are being a bit rude by stating it. Especially in front of someone's spouse. Female or Male that is a term that should be used with someone you at least know -- with the exception of you southerners. Up here in the north that sounds strage and makes you wonder why someone would use such a personal term for someone that you do not know. I personally find it creepy when someone addresses me that way as it is not common and would.

Enter Your Message or Comment

User Name:
User Email:
Post a comment: