Does it bother anyone when AP's refer to themselves as mothers?

PhilM

It might bother me if my father (an AP) referred to himself as a "mother." ;)

But seriously, the term "mother" refers both to the first mother and the adoptive mother. Ideally, both love the child unconditionally. "Mother" is a broad term covering both first mothers and adoptive mothers. I honestly don't understand why it would bother someone else that I have two mothers. But I always get thumbs down anyway. :)

Kazi

A mother is a mother is a mother.

Ask my kids, I am mommy.

Rowan

they are mothers. While she may not have been my mother by blood, she raised me and loved me. THAT is what makes a mother.

Mei-Ling

My mom is my mom.

= = Next Q?

38 Wks Pregnant W Elly Christine

They should be considered as ma or dad. If they adopted that kid and they are raising and doing everything that can for that child. THen yes they should.

bartendingsalsa_queen

I do not think that Mother is only biological. Being a child that has been adopted, the only mother that I have ever had is the one that adopted me.
My biological 'father' is not my father. He never wanted anything to do with me before.
You adopt some into your family. Not into 'the house' where all of you happen to live. Father and Mothers are the people that raise you. They give you there love and everything that they can. These people are my family and no one could ever tell me that they are not my mom and dad because I don't have their blood.

PS. Didn't mean to sound mean if I can across that way. I just don't know who I would be without them.

sizesmith

Also, should mothers who are abusive have the title never be able to be said from their lips again?

I'd let you ask my kids, but I don't know which ones. My step-children, my biological child, my adopted child, the 30 or so kids who fly through the house any given week who all call me mom in an affectionate way, or the future foster children, who can call me anything they want, within reason, but I hope they choose mom eventually, if they are going to stay permanently.

monkeykitty83

An adoptive mother IS a mother. So yes, she should be referred to that way.

She isn't the ONLY mother of the child. But her role in nurturing and caring should not be dismissed, mocked, or downplayed just because she didn't give birth.

To deny that adoptive mothers are mothers is not only an insult to adoptive parents, but to the adoptees who love them, and have a parental relationship with them.

I'm not going to dictate how a person refers to their own mother, adoptive or biological, or demand that there be a relationship between them. That's individual choice.

But as a group, yes, adoptive mothers are mothers, and have every right to acknowledge their motherhood.

<3

Oh my gosh, of course an adoptive parent should be "mom" or "dad" if that is the person that is raising the child. I mean I think that if grandma adopts her grand child she should still be grandma. Or if an older child who has an understanding of what's going on chooses to not call their APs mom and dad that's okay too.

opedial

Parenting is the job, so yes I am a parent.

A mother can be many things to many people, but I am a MOM to my children, and would be offended that people think otherwise. My children have a first mother, and a previous foster mother, and they have me, their mother, now and forever. I have no problem with their othe rmother being labelled mother, but yes, I am a mom, actually, to my kids I am mommy!

The brain

No. They are mothers. And sometimes they are better mothers than the biological mother.

My amother had a big brain and I got that from her. What better thing?! hehe

~my~babies~momma~

Just about anyone can give birth two a child but it take a special person to be a mommy. I know a lot of people that have given birth and should not be called a mother. My oldest son is adopted. Are you saying that the woman that gave birth to him, and also abused him has the right to be called his mother. Instead of me who has raised him and loved him unconditionally for the past 12 years. So my answer to your question is NO a mother is not only biological and yes women who adopt are just as much a mother as a person that gives birth.

Sophie

no
no
and no

Linny G

Your question is offensive to ALL mothers, and ALL children.
Bait much?

Amie M

I am a MOTHER!!! My daughter is adopted and from the time she was born, I was her mother. dont sit on here and say we arent mother just bc we adopted a child. ANYONE AND I MEAN ANYONE can have a child. Just bc some adopted, doesnt mean they arent a mother. Oh you are just rude for asking this

Camira B

no, no, and no.

This question is stupid. APs are mothers and fathers. Period. I don't much appreciate my son's APs at the moment, but for right now, they are still his mom and dad. I saw your other question and I still consider myself his mother as well. So yes, right now, he has two mothers and fathers. Don't like it? too bad.

Heather Leigh

I think society is too hung up on this. Legally my son has one Mom....Me, But in reality he has me and his other Mother. The one that gave birth to him and took care of him for the first 6 months of his life. He has TWO Mom's but only one that is active in his life.

My two bio kids have a strip Mom. She does all the things a mom does when they are at their Dad's (and Step Mom's) house. Legally, I am their only Mom, but in reality they have another woman in their life that fills the Mother role when I am not their. The have TWO Mom's.

ETA: I honestly did not mean to call her a "strip" Mom....I meant STEP mom.

kateiskate

Not at all. Parents (Moms and Dads) are people who take care of you, raise you, love you. My adoptive mom taught me to talk, to walk, fed me, spanked me when I was bad, praised me when I was good, taught me the difference between right and wrong, waited up for me to get home when I was a teenager, and worried about me. For all of those things she deserves the title of Mom.

Just a Mom

Are you crazy?

Honest answers, my ***.

You want a fight.

Jessica R

To be honest i think they have every reason to call themselves mother's if they raising the child regardless wether or not its theirs yah they should be able to call themselves mothers. Put it this way like they say any women can have a baby, but it takes a real women to be a mother. A mother is the one who has the child, but a MOM is someone who's raising them!!!!!!!!

grapesgum

No, no, and no.

I only bothers me when a mother who became a mother through adoption denies that her child also has another mother.

IDK!!

Outside of our adoption, I am still a mother to a daughter I gave birth to.

Not Adopted

No.

My child's adoptive mother is his mother. I am also his mother.

It only bothers me when they claim they are the ONLY mother, the REAL mother, etc.

crazychickizback

They ARE mothers. A mother is the woman who raised the child, not the one who birthed them. it bothers me when BIRTH mothers refer to themselves as mothers- they have forfeited that right, either voluntarily of by proving themselves unfit

romeochewy

what exactly would you have a child call the woman who is raising her?
"parent---i'm home"
"i don't have a mom, but I do have a parent"

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