Does "Birthmother's Day" offend you? (As a birth/first/bio mother)?

myst1998

Yes because I am NOT a birthmother. I am a mother the same as any other mother regardless of how anyone else sees it. Nature dictated that, not man and a flimsy piece of paper cannot take away 34 weeks of nurturing, love and care I had for MY child.... even if some stupid man made the wrong decision for her.

So yes, it offends me but thankfully it is only an American thing and I can celebrate Mothers Day on Mothers Day!

Not Adopted

No need for a separate day, all mothers should be honored on the same day!

cantstopLinnyG

As an adoptee, it offends me. I send BOTH my Mothers a card on Mother's Day.
Im more offended that November is "National Adoption Month". Yay.... a whole month of celebrating the fact I lost an entire family. That makes me puke. A lot. But not as much as "Gotcha Day", lol.

***ETA**** Happymom wrote,
"National Adoption Month was supposed to only be about the children in the US Foster Care system and is one of the few ways we have to bring attention to the children waiting... It was never supposed to be about celebrating adoption in general...so, sad this has even been hyjacked..."

Hijacked by whom? Go cry to your buddies at adoption.com or the NCFA. They luuurrrvvvee to celebrate adoption, no matter what month it is. Especially the adoptions that bring in the big bucks.

meatball's girl

I have never heard of it before right now, but I don't find it offensive, a little ridiculous yes. A mother is a mother, regardless whether adoptive or biological, it doesn't matter. There is no need to have a birthmother's day.

MamaKate

Dear Savanna,

I dislike "Birthmother's Day" too. It is silly to have a separate day, however misguidedly well intended.
I don't have a separate day for being a step-mom.

Although, if I work this right that's THREE mother's days for me.
Hmmmm. Maybe I can get a day for being "mother" to my furbabies too...

dancing_in_sunlight

I think you're right. I am a Birthmother too, and it took a tremendous amount of love and courage to decide that I wanted my little girl, (now in her twenties) to have a family around her and all the things I could dream of for her, rather than keeping her no matter what the price. I am just as much a mother for her as I was for my other children. Until someone has made the sacrifice of letting such a precious gift go into the arms of another, he or she cannot judge and Mother's Day should be for all mothers. It's just plain ridiculous to categorize what a Mother is.

Kazi

First mother. Adoptive mother. Foster mother. Step mother.

A mother is a mother is a mother.

As far as I'm concerned, Mother's Day is all-inclusive.

Rowan

What in the world? stomp on their emotions a little harder government..ugh.

A mother is a mother.

kitta

It is offensive. It outright says that women whose children were adopted from them are not mothers.

The western world has gone insane. The adoption industry is defining a "mother" as the one who buys the child. She doesn't even have to raise it. She can place the child in daycare, or she can hire a nanny.

"Birthmother's Day" was invented by a woman who surrendered a child herself. She should know better. Birthmothers Day is like "Surrender Your CHild Day"..

Who would want to celebrate a day like that..what a terrible , sad,day.

Mothers Day should honor mothers.Separating mothers and children doesn't honor them, and creating 'days' that honor separation doesn't help.

I am a mother who was forced to surrender my child, so I am not dishonoring mothers who were forced to surrender nor am I disrespecting those mothers who believe they have made a decision for the best.

Surrender was not the best for my child, nor for me.

Philippa

Birthmother's Day isn't celebrated in the UK thankfully but if it was I would completely ignore the day as I find it very offensive. It's bad enough that natural mothers are labelled birth mothers without further rubbing our noses in it. I just see it as further stigmatizing us as not quite mothers/not good enough mothers. On the other hand where does it stop? Do we start having Step Mother's Day. Adoptive Mother's Day, Foster Mother's Day? We are all mother's in our own right so should be recognosed as this.

I usually refer to my son's adoptive mother as his mother as she is exactly that and only add adoptive when I need to clarify. She and her husband refer to me as his mother as well and add natural (their choice) when they need to clarify as we respect each other's roles as mothers. One day is good enough for all of us mothers.

Felicita1

I find it to be very offensive. Just another way for baby brokers and adoptive parents to tell us that we're not mothers and hence not deserving to be honored on Mothers Day.

Adoption agencies love this day and sponsor picnics on it for all their little brainwashed victims. One more way of keeping them in their place ("Oh I did such a wonderful loving deed! Now back to crying my eyes out every time they send me a photo.")

HappyMomAnna

Great now I can celebrate two different days...since I gave birth to my older kids then I should have every right to celebrate Birth Mother's Day Right! Birth and Mother's day...

Then I will celebrate Mother's Day which I can celebrate for the Mothering I do day in and day out--That's the day I want Breakfast in Bed and a long hot beauty bath... ummmm a mother's work is never finished but on Mother's Day even Daddy gets in on the fun and takes everyone out for dinner...

And What the Heck if I get to celebrate the day because I gave birth and because I am the Mother of the House, why not toss in Adoptive Mother's Day too!

I guess, I don't get to celebrate Step-Mother's Day but, that's okay with me--why should I be so greedy with all the other special Mom Day's I get to celebrate...

Olivia J

It doesn't offend me but I think it's unnecessary. Some birth mothers don't consider themselves mothers, and some do. I think the ones that do can celebrate regular mother's day.

mommy2squee

It offends my son's mother- that's good enough for me.

We joke that I get mother's day, and she gets labor day.

Unfortunately, because of family politics, we seldom get to spend Mother's day with her.

Lori A

I thought it was offensive when I first heard about it. But I think it's a backhanded step in the right direction. It is at the very least recognizing surrendering mothers. Which was unheard of 30 years ago. It might be backward, awkward, slightly disrespectful, but it is still recognition. A mother is a mother no matter what form she takes and THAT needs to be recognized.

Dark_Fire_Angel

While i'm not offended with birth mother day i see no reason to celebrate it. As thoughtful as the jester was it's only that a jester. To me that day symbolizes what i have lost and that's being a family to my daugther in the full mommy sense. Don't get me wrong i'm glad she has a loving family I wouldn't change anything but i still live with the pain that i'm here and she's not. I think birth mother should talk to each other more than once a year its like i'm going to cry and share my story with other mothers and be ok until the next birth mothers day. Doesn't work like that. So me and my mom go out to a nice dinner and just talk give each other present and talk about aria and that makes me feel better. For some people this day helps them but i'm not one of those people.

Victory loves her Redneck Man

I have never seen the Birth mothers day on any calenders,so this is new to me???

realmom lese

puke. this is another way of separating the real mother (yes, the real mom is the one who god intended to give birth) from her child.

this is another way of making the real mom less than the artificial mom.

Yarr

I didn't even know there was a birthmother's day. I don't really think there should be a birthmother's day. I always though being a mother or father means raising a child (or children). That includes people who have adopted and are raising kids who aren't biologically theirs. But if you just pop out a baby and then give it away how does that make someone a mother? Kids need support for many years AFTER birth and moms and/or dads are the ones who provide that support.

Abigail L

This does not offend me, because i think that the term "mother" refers to the woman who raises you, not the biological mother. I gave a child up for adoption just one year ago. And I was adopted. I believe that, as stated in any contract to allow someone to adopt your child, if you make that choice, you are giving up all parental rights to that child, including being called their mother. I don't really agree with the fact that there is a Birthmothers' Day, but I don't really mind it either.

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