Does the father have to sign papers for an adoption?

*Milo's Mommy*

Since they are not married, if she doesn't put him on the birth certificate, and he doesn't come forward to make sure everyone knows he is the father, she can get away with giving the baby up without him,

* if she wanted she could claim she didn't know the father*

That's why I was adopted with only my mother signing the papers... she didn't want to ask my father, and he didn't care

Lori A

i'm confused why "you" have to get this situated?

It is illegal for her to give a child up for adoption without his parental rights terminated. If this is what HE wants, then he needs to get in touch with whom ever is doing the adoption and sign his rights over
. He does not have to be there for the handing over of the child. It doesn't work like that, when the child is born and the papers are signed an agency or a set of adoptive parents takes the child.

It is very important for him to be recognized as the father of this child. One day sealed records will be a thing of the past and this child will need information that only HE can give. But I'm still confused what this has to do with you.

sam22254

If your fiance wants his child he better get on board and get his rights. Ist thing he needs to do is support the mother with money and care. Make sure you keep copy's of what he buys or pays for. Second he needs to file claim of putridity which you have to file within your state. This will make sure he has rights to say what happens to his child.
If he is on board with adoption then he needs to talk to the adoption agency to and give them his medical back ground and sign his rights away to. If he does nothing the he needs to expect nothing and don't come crying latter. Really if he wants this baby he better support the mother or that's the 1st thing they will do in terminated his rights.

Robin

Laws vary greatly from state to state. To find out the laws in your state are regarding the presumed father's rights and adoption, click on the following link:

http://www.childwelfare.gov/systemwide/laws_policies/state/

Have you considered that ALL these children will be the 1/2 siblings of whatever children you have with your fiance - adopted or not? One day, this child may come looking for his birth parents. I hope you'll remain open to that- even embrace all his children as your step kids - as you enter into marriage with this man.

Good luck.

MamaKate

Dear Laura-Mae,

Legally what Lori said is correct, you have absolutely no legal standing or responsibility for this decision. It is up to your fiance and his ex to make this choice about their child.

However, I do understand that in the real world, it DOES have to do with you if you are to marry this man. Legally you will become this child's (and his or her siblings') step-mother. Being the step-mom means that you will have these kids in your home if there is to be split custody and that part of your household income will be spent on supporting your step-children. Any children you may have will be half-siblings of this child and the others. If this baby is placed for adoption, YOUR children will be missing a sibling to adoption. There will be interactions with the mother of the children if not between you and her, most certainly between your man and her. This WILL effect your life if you choose to be with this man.

I am not sure why adoption is the choice for this child since they already have three others. Have your fiance and his ex thought about how this will effect the other children? Is there a possibility that you and your fiance could take custody of this child? (I am assuming that if you love this man, you also love his children.) Perhaps you might wish to consider that as an option. There are tons of resources that can help you if loving the baby is not an issue but there are concerns about housing, food, medical care, etc. ***If you cannot love this child then DO NOT offer to parent him or her.***

There are also the following options:

Shared/co-parenting (which I hope they are considering for their other shared children - so what's one more?)

Temporary or permanent guardianship instead of adoption.

Unfortunately, like Lori said, you do not have any rights as far as this situation is concerned, but there will be effects from it in your life if you are going to have this man in your life. Perhaps you and your fiance need to sit down and have a very frank discussion about what he feels about his child, thinks is best and what you, as a COUPLE, can handle as an outcome, not just now but in the future as well. I would highly suggest that he get as educated as possible about his paternal rights and about adoption and it's effects before he agrees to anything. (For example: Is your fiance aware that "open" adoption agreements are NOT legally enforceable.) Adoption should be done only if it is necessary and truly in the CHILD'S best interests. I hope that any decision that is made will be well thought out and one that you all can live with.

Good luck to you all - especially this baby and his or her siblings. Best wishes on your upcoming wedding - I hope everything works out for all of you.

http://www.childwelfare.gov/
http://www.smoms.org/
http://www.fathersandfamilies.org/?cat=51
http://www.exiledmothers.com/open_adoption/index.html
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Coparenting
http://www.fathers-4-justice.us/

ETA: Your fiance needs to know the "putative fathers" laws for your state or whatever state the child is to be born in. He may need to establish paternity prior to the birth since he was not married. Technically, it is not legal to place a child for adoption without the consent of ALL known living parents. (In the cases of married women who have a child outside of their marriage, BOTH men are required to consent.) Not obtaining the legal consent to adoption can disrupt the adoption and/or have serious legal repercussions.

Veronica

why don't you guys adopt the baby together? i mean, might as well...i feel sorry for the baby.

and yes, the father has to be involved in the adoption process

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