Does this happen to prospective adoptive parents?

Freckle Face

Hmmmm. Our adoption agency would not allow us to give gifts of money to prospective birthmothers. Our adoption agent would have help her find aid thru the government and housing if possible.

I agree these agencies should be shut down. I think a good agency protects both sides involved. I have never experienced anything like this. I think placing ads for a baby is just wrong.

We had three adoptions fall thru. It was painful to have the baby home and then to give her back. Every step of the way we were warned these were high risk adoptions and our possible birth mothers could change their minds. Thats adoption. Birth mothers have every right to change their minds.

I know how longing for a baby does cloud your judgement thats why your case worker is there advising you. As an adoptive mom, i can honestly say i have never felt taken advantage of by the agency or either birth familes. I can only hope and pray our birth familes can say the same thing in return.

There are no quick fixes in adoption. I don't feel sorry for either party(ies) involved in this scam.

wynn

This problem wouldn't come up if people would just cool it. People should not be exchanging money or signing contracts over an unborn child. A woman who is grappling with an unplanned pregnancy and fears about the future may not be in any shape to give a meaningful consent to give up her child.

This is why, when adopting through foster care didn't work out for us, we went international to adopt older kids/special needs. If you don't go through the foster care system in America, it's all about babies. Back before I was married I remember what my cousin went through interviewing paps, letting them go to doctor appointments with her, having them in the delivery room... and then having to tell them she'd changed her mind. There would've been a lot less heart break if everyone had waited until after the baby was born to start making plans.

beegirlny

Sounds to me like this adoption agency should be shut down! They were setting up two adoptions at once? Shouldn't it be on them, not just the prospective adoptive parents, to check out the pregnant woman and make sure that everything is on the up and up before proceeding? I think that the agency should be liable for the money these couples lost! Send them to jail too!

Things like this make me sick! Does anyone need more proof that a lot of adoption agencies are just trying to make money and don't care about the best interests of the child or anyone else involved for that matter?

Please, if you are going to adopt, check out the agency! There are good ones out there. Ones that look out for the best interests of the child. Ones that don't coerce mothers into giving up their children. Agencies that make finding homes for children in foster care their first priority. Don't let baby fever blind you into accepting things that you shouldn't. If something doesn't feel right, it probably isn't. Report it!

This is another reason that birth parents shouldn't have contact with PAP's before the baby is born. Not only does it make it difficult for the mother or father to change their minds about relinquishing but it leaves PAP's open to scammers!

sam22254

I feel sorry for them but they should have known that you can't go around buying children it's illegal. And I'm happy this woman is in jail. I wish they would put the social worker and his supervisor (big adoption agency) right beside her.
This adoption agency has been going around father's rights way to long. And it's not because of money just to get their members up. (Jail would be nice for all these types of un ethical people) If I decided that the mother didn't want the baby at a hospital and was going to give the child away and walked in there and just took the baby home(after she signed the baby away) and hid the child for awhile. When they found me I would be in jail for a real long time but they can do it and smile at getting away with it. Don't seem fair

grapesgum

It is not disturbing, it is reprehensible. It is as horrible as adoption agencies and attorneys who exploit "birth" parents to obtain their children to sell for a nice profit. Of course, let us not forget that there is one difference, the middle-woman adoption worker's actions are legal. She cannot be prosecuted for her exploitation.

For me to say that the adoptive parents "should have known better" is as cruel as saying that potential "birth" mothers who were exploited by the corrupt adoption industry "made their decision" and need to move on. There is hope, desperation, and fear on both sides.

Until the US regulates the adoption industry and caps the profits that adoption workers can make on adoption deals, these cruel scams will happen to both adoptive parents and "birth" parents.

Heather B

I agree with Cam. I have little sympathy for people who go about adopting by unethical means and then cry foul.

Cam

These adoptive parents should have known better. I have a hard time feeling sorry for them. Giving a mother money is just wrong. They should have known it was a con. Wow, I just don't know what else to say.

sunny

Caveat emptor.

J*Mo

It is very sad. It is one of many horror stories that makes me weary of adoption

BPD Wife

Sadly, it does happen and is the reason why some adoptive parents find it difficult to understand a birth mother who changes her mind and chooses to parent because we hear these types of "horror stories" and are "auto-programmed" by society to automatically believe it is a con. It is the people like this con-artist that makes it difficult for everyone in adoption.

When we (as a society) talk about coercion in adoption, we also have to realize that there is some coercion that takes place against APs also. Agencies promise tons of things that they have no right to promise - but most APs don't know that the agency isn't being 100% honest until they have fully given their heart into the process and they are "hooked".

Adoptive Parents are often told that they "should have known better" but the truth is that ALL parents - regardless of bio or adoptive - lose sight of many things when a new baby/child is involved.

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