Dreams about adoption....?

cantstopLinnyG

Why anyone would want to adopt a newborn when they can have their own is so unbelievable to me.

You said it all in your first sentence. YOU want a baby girl. Adoption is NEVER supposed to be about the parent's wants.

You must have no idea of how adoption can affect a child. The only children who "need homes" are those children languishing in foster care. Period.

Here are some links for you.

http://www.nancyverrier.com/pos.php
http://www.adoptioncrossroads.org
http://www.amfor.net/killers/
http://www.keepyourbaby.com/the_primal_w...
http://www.cubirthparents.org/edd/index....
http://www.thegirlswhowentaway.com/
http://www.exiledmothers.com/adoption_facts/adoption_coercion.html
http://www.youtube.com/user/adoptedthemovie

aloha.girl59

If you can give birth to a child, do it. Are you saying you want to adopt so you can be assured of having a girl? If that's the case, don't do it. That's NOT a good enough reason to adopt.

Sounds like you have a lot to learn. Read some of the adoptees' answers on here (and their blogs too). There are a lot more people in this country who want to adopt than there are available babies. That means that newborns are a hot commodity and they cost big bucks. Many of these so-called "available" infants were grabbed right out of their mothers' arms after those women were coerced into relinquishing their infants. These women need a little financial and emotional support and they will be able to parent their children themselves. The babies don't want substitute mothers; they want their OWN mothers.

You have a 14 month old so you know what it's like to hold that little newborn and fall completely in love, right? Why would you want to take that away from someone else?

If you TRULY want to adopt, wait until your son is older and then adopt a child from foster care. A child that is younger than your son so that his place in the family birth order isn't usurped. Kids in foster care are the ones who really NEED homes and loving families. Most infants from agencies DON'T...regardless of what the agency tells you. Agencies are in it for the MONEY. They make their profits from people who desperately want infants! Think about it. It's not in their best interests to tell you any of this, is it?

Why are YOU more fit to parent someone else's newborn than she is? Do you know that most mothers who surrender their infants are either college students or college graduates? We're not talking about the stereotyped drug addict who gets pregnant by accident and just wants to "get rid of it" here. We're talking about young, usually single girls and women who are broke and scared. With a little support, they wouldn't feel that they need to relinquish their babies. So again I ask you: why are YOU more fit to parent someone else's newborn than she is? Because she's broke? I was once, too. I was in college and very broke. But it was temporary. I now make well over $50K a year. Poverty is often temporary and adoption is permanent.

Sophie

My dreams led me to my son. I told the adoption agency I thought it would be best to adopt a girl because I would be a single mom... living with my sister. But through dreams I had of me adopting a baby boy, I told the agency that I'd consider boys as well. My first referral was a little boy. I felt a connection instantly and NEVER regret it at all. I thank God I got to be his parent. He is the most awesome child ever and I love him with all of my heart.

Follow your heart.

Randy B

Without judging your motives and as a way of answering your question I suggest that you speak with two groups in your area. The first would be as many adoption agencies in your area as you can find. Ask them what their processes are and what their costs are. Ask as well about their time lines and ask for references. Secondly, call your local DSS and ask about adoptions of children currently in foster care. Ask them the same questions you asked the agencies. Once you have done all of that, consider your options and then put the info away for 6 months to a year so that you can concentrate on raising the child you have. If after 6 months to a year you still feel like adopting then contact either of the two types of agencies that you spoke with and would prefer to work with and go from there.

monkeykitty83

I think you need to take time and carefully consider this. You have one young child to look after already, and adoption isn't something to be done on a whim.

You should take time to research the procedures for the different types of adoption, and the ethical issues involved. (Be sure to read about adoption from foster care, where there are tens of thousands of children just waiting for permanent homes.) You need to read up on the experience of growing up as an adoptee, and about strategies for parenting adopted children. You need to be really prepared and informed, to do this right.

I know something like a dream can be powerful emotionally. But if there truly was meaning in this, it won't go away while you take the time to learn and research it. You shouldn't rush it, but should take time to really weigh what you're hoping to do. This is a big, big thing, both for your own life, and for the child you could potentially adopt. Do a lot of reading, a lot of critical thinking, and a serious examination of your own motives. Don't go into this blindly.

Daisey Duck

First I wouldn't read a lot into the dreams. We often dream about what is on our minds when we go to sleep.
If adoption is what you and your husband want to do then do your research and proceed in the way that is best for the two of you.
You can talk to social services they can tell you what the all is involved the cost etc. You can also check into doing foster care first.
My parents were forster parents, had a son of their own. I was in there care removed and brought back. They weren't even thinking about adoption, but when I came back to them (they said they were heartbroken when I was removed especially my dad) my dad told my mom that I wasn't leaving again, he couldn't bear the thought of me leaving or being abused anymore so they adopted me. I personally think it's great when someone who can have their own children decide to adopt a child who needs a home.
If you do decide to foster first you will be able to first help some child(ren) who need some stability, and you will also be able to see if this is the right fit for the child, your son and you and your husband.
So do your research and then proceed down the road that is best for your family

durdenslabs

Foster care adoption is the best way to go. The children have been there longer than you'd think and they really need loving forever homes.

1st - call you local dss, dfs or whatever they call social services, and tell them you are interested in adopting.

2nd - go to the adoption orientation meeting. They usually last 1 to 2 hours.

3rd - Get all your paperwork together *vehicle insurance & registration, current drivers license, social security card, birth certificate, marriage & divorce papers, pay stubs/w-2's, at least 5 personal references and vet records for any pets you have.

4th - Go to the 7 adoption meetings (maybe more) and get the homestudy done. Make sure you have a fire extinguisher, smoke detector, and a room ready for the child.

5th - wait about 6 months (maybe less, maybe more) to be matched with a child.

6th - Begin a new life for you and your child with adoption!

Carol c

you really need to evaluate your reasons for suddenly deciding you want to adopt. why can't you and your husband try for another child who is a girl?

dontknow86

Most people giving there baby up want them to go to a family who cant have any kids. Then wonder if its a boy, then what?

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