Essay help about adoption..?

dadof7n2001

My two brothers and I were adopted by the same family as very young children. The adoption records were sealed. In 1992, my birth father located me through the military. After a couple of years, we petitioned the court to open the adoption records and were successful. The records do not give any vital medical information. They give the details of the adoption proceedings and who our birth parents are. We had to get medical history from direct contact with our birth parents. Records are sealed for valid reasons and should not be semi-open. The laws in most states allow the child who was adopted to petition for the records to be opened when the child is considered a legal adult. This protects the child from exposure to birth parents who were maybe not fit to raise the child from coming into the child's life and causing more problems. It also protects the people or person who gave up the child from having to go through the traumatic experience again. I don't agree with you at all about semi-open records. I think they should be sealed. There is really no valid reason why an adoptee would need to know where they came from. I suppose if your birth parents were incredibly rich that might be a reason to want to know but, more often than not, you are better off not knowing. The only reason we opened the records was because it helped us in doing geneology and learning about our ancestry but, I got that from my birth parents as well. If you didn't know your birth parents it would be good to learn about your heritage.

cantstopLinnyG

Semi-closed doesn't do squat for an adoptee. Most non-identifying information(such as heritage, interests, etc, like you mentioned) is NOT truthful. The info Catholic Scarities gave my adoptive parents was completely different than the info they gave me, and NONE of it was true.

The "medical history" they give you is as old as the adoptee, and is of little to no use.

These links may help you with how most adoptees react in a closed adoption.

http://www.nancyverrier.com/pos.php

http://www.amfor.net/acs

http://www.keepyourbaby.com/the_primal_w...

http://www.youtube.com/user/adoptedthemovie

Books:
The Primal Wound by Nancy Verrier
Lost and Found: the Adoption Experience AND
Journey of the Adopted Self: A Quest for Wholeness both by Betty Jean Lifton
The Adopted break Silence by Jean Paton
The Girls Who Went Away by Ann Fessler
Adoption: Uncharted Waters,by David Kirschner
Being Adopted: The Lifelong Search for Self by David Brodzinsky

I wanted to know where I come from because I am nothing like my adoptive family. While I had plenty of love from them, and still do, it did not take away the pain caused by relinquishment.

I am now in reunion and it's an amazing feeling. I have a "sense of self" now that I have met people I am genetically linked to, and love BOTH my families.

Lisa

I won't argue to you that I think records should be totally open, since that is not necessary for your essay. One of the key reasons I would suggest is medical. Adoptees should have access to info on genetic medical conditions.

EDIT: What about Synchronicity in Reunions? This would be a fun essay! Here are a few websites to check out:

http://www.pactadopt.org/press/articles/synchronicity.html

http://www.amazon.com/Synchronicity-Reunion-Connection-Adoptees-Birthparents/dp/tags-on-product/0963441000

just an opinion

Being the girlfriend of an adoptee, I can speak personally about closed adoption experiences. Difficulties arise around several areas. The first issue is the lack of medical records. Does he have a history of heart disease, cancer, allergies, or other ailments? Who knows, because right now we still don't. Will our children be susceptible to hereditary defects? Again, we don't know. The second issue has to do with the mental/psychological trauma of a closed adoption. Adoptees may have a lack of self identity, and since many may never meet their original parents and family, they may have a lack of closure around the experience, and forever be searching to fill that void. Not to mention, there are so many questions left unanswered by a closed adoption. Do his green eyes come from his father or his mother? Where did he get that love for raw onions? Does he laugh like his father? Where did he get his smile? So many children share interests and likes and mannerisms with their parents, even those that they don't witness or learn. A person's personality is determined by their genetics and their environment, not just one or the other. So with a closed adoption, half of the story is missing.

Just as a note, I'm sure not all adoptees feel that something is missing from their lives; in fact, I'm sure these people are probably quite content with their lives and don't worry about what other family exists and what might have been. But I congratulate those who are free of such a burden, because I witness everyday a person whose life has been greatly affected, and probably not for the better, by the adoption experience. Good luck writing your essay. :)

kateiskate

I would say that what you described as "semi closed" would actually be considered a closed adoption. Most closed adoptions furnish you with non identifying information and other vague information about your past and heritage. But as Linny G said, most of the things like that provided by your adoption agency are lies.

I agree with what you said about closed adoptions causing people to go their whole lives without knowing who they are or where they came from, but a little bit of information isn't going to help solve that. I personally believe that contact information should be available. At the very least, names should be available. Most first moms do not WANT the anonymitiy that sealed adoption records require so whose privacy are closed adoptions really protecting?

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