First Moms: I have a question for you.?

Flying Monkey #073177

My other two children know about their brother, I've never hidden him or the fact that he was adopted. I can only speak for myself but I would love to have him contact me at any time as long as it was his choice to do so. He is 14 now and my phone number has always been published and my name will never change. I want to make it as easy as possible for him should he want to find me. When he is ready I will welcome him with open arms.

realmom lese

When my daughter found me, I had young kids at home. They did not know about their sister, and didn't understand adoption. I explained it the best that I could. They set about making handmade cards for their sis, and were very anxious to meet her. This really surprised my daughter, she thought that she would be my "dirty little secret". Nothing could've been further from the truth.

I did not see her finding me as an intrusion, I found it as a necessity for both of us. I also found it as a very tender act of love on her part, as she was the one who searched and went out on a limb.

I was sad that she felt like she might be intrusive when it was something that I welcomed with all of my heart. I was estatic that she was brave enough to take the chance. She was fearful about her siblings and my husband, but they adored her instantly, and always will. She has never been a "disruption", she has been a wonderful addition to everyone's life.

Your brother is younger, I think it would be nice to have him growing up not missing you in his life. What a gift you would be giving him and yourself! To know and establish a relationship from the get go would be very nice for you both.

My daughter lived 700+ miles away with her adoptive parents and was newly 18 years old when she found me. We established our relationship slowly, with handwritten letters, then emails and phone calls. It went at her pace, as a busy student. We eventually provided airfare for her to travel here, which was her preference and her timeline. I would have traveled to her if she wished. Now she lives down the street :)

kitta

I would have been delighted if my son had found me when he was younger.

As it turned out, he was searching for me but he didn't know how to find me. We were reunited when he was 21.

I would never have considered him a 'disruption" in my life, and I had been trying to keep him, but was forced to surrender him. This was during the 1960s, when unmarried mothers' civil rights were violated routinely.

Even today, parents' rights are still being violated by the adoption industry.

Not Adopted

I would welcome the opportunity! I think reunion should happen as early as possible (Nancy Verrier promotes this idea, as well). It will also help your sibling if you are reunited while still young.

Lori A

Each situation is different, I also had two more kids and they all accepted one another with no problem.

Philippa

I am in reunion with my son although I don't have other children but would still have welcomed him into my life anyway if I did have other children. My husband has welcomed my son into our lives as well so while it has been a roller coaster journey we don't have any regrets.

I think you would regret it more if you waited so good luck!

amare

Since you still live with your parents you should talk to them about this. Their help will be vital especially since you and your birth mother do not live in the same state. I think you should also contact your birth mother and let her know your desire. I do not think it is a good idea to just show up unexpectedly. Once you talk to your birth mother maybe she can arrange a time and place to meet you and introduce you to your sibling. It is difficult to say how your birth mother will react to your request, as each birth mother feels differently about reconnecting with their child. I wish you luck!

clyde442009@verizon.net

Sometimes we give our children for adoption because it's what 's best for us. Some of us just weren't cut out to be parents. I wouldn't be mad, but I'm not sure I'd be thrilled either.I'm sure I'll get lots of "thumbs down" for my answer, but until you've walked in someones shoes, you really can't judge. This may or may not be the case with your birth mother. Talk to your mom, trust her to give you good advice. After all she's the one who has raised you and knows you.

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