First opinions on my creative writing piece on adoption? A letter from birthmother to daughter, not finished.?

â˜†Yummyâ˜†Mummyâ˜†

I dont really like your letter, its like something from a film, something that people think they should be saying in a letter but its false.

I dont know how anyone could give their child away to strangers, not knowing what they were doing everyday, how they were feeling, holding them when they were crying etc, if you love someone you dont give them away so to say in a letter QUOTE "but you have to understand that it was because I loved you that I gave you away" rubbish you dont give something away that you love!!

My husband has just handed me my son while he heats up his bottle, he is only 7 weeks old, im holding him up infront of me, he is trying to hold his wee head up to look at me, its shaking as he learns to balance it...................the thought of someone else experiencing this and not me just makes me curl up inside, I wouldn't dream of giving any of my children up...I have 3

I onced watched an Adoption Story on Discovery Health, it made me soooo angry, a husband and wife had 3 children and she found herself pregnant again, she was giving this baby away as she couldn't afford to keep him with having 3 other children, she got herself pregnant, the baby didn't ask to be conceived but it was the baby who was going to suffer

Would you give your house, car, money.....all your wordly possessions away FREE.......No..........so why would you give away something that is a million times more precious...your baby.... FREE to people you dont even know, it just doesn't make sense and I would never have forgiven my mum if she had of given me up

No matter how broke etc I was.... I would NEVER give my child away, they are mine and no-one elses, im their mummy, its my job in life to look after them not to give to someone else to do my job for me, its just not human

Thats my opinion on adoption

Not Adopted

Here's my version:

I loved you so much that part of my soul died upon losing you to adoption. I hope when we meet again you will not see the broken pieces of my heart, but will instead see a mother who tried to make it through life without her baby, who tried the best she could to make you proud that this particular woman was your long-lost mother.

magic pointe shoes

=o( You. don't. get. it.

seriously.

edit to add: I don't get why you attempted this letter first when in your last question your responses were from adopted people telling you of their experiences. Not one firstmother other than me replied. Did you notice that?

I suppose to others this would look somewhat like a letter that a firstmother would write, except it's not.

Gaia Raain

I was going to say the same as Mei Ling. To say, "it was because I loved you that I gave you away," translates to, everyone who loves me will leave me.

Also wanted to point out that MPS is a first mother, so if she says you don't get it, she would know. Don't take it as an insult...this is her truth, and she knows it way better than anyone else (besides other first mothers).

BOTZ

I am an adoptee. I have received many letters from my mother (my OWN mother - the one that gave birth to me). From the perspective of my own experience, I don't like your letter AT ALL.

It does NOT have the 'ring of truth' to it. It is WAAAAY to peaceful and happy.

Let me tell you a couple of things from the day of MY birth, as told to me by my mother in letters, in person, through email and over the phone:

1- She NEVER held me
2- She NEVER saw me
3- She tried to RUN AWAY from the hospital and the doctor in order to KEEP me
4- She was drugged during my birth and did not wake up for at least 6 hours
5- She was screaming and hysterical - there was NOTHING peaceful on that day for her
6- NOTHING about the experience of giving birth to me made her feel I "deserved to[o] much more than [she] could ever give [me], so much more than [her]." THERE IS NOTHING MORE THAN HER!!! She is MY mother and I was sent to live with STRANGERS.
7- She did not "love [me] enough that she gave [me] away", rather she loved me enough to FIGHT LIKE HELL -- at least on that day -- to KEEP me
8- Her "fears and anxieties" never "floated away" when she knew that (within hours) I wold be gone "forever". I was NOT gone forever, but on THAT day, she was sure I would be.

And from me:

1- She could have, and wanted to, and would have given me "all the time and attention [I] deserved".
2- She could have "offered [me] the support [I] needed".
3- I did not get a better life - I 'got' to live with abusive strangers.

My mother has never addressed a letter to me "Dear Daughter". She has addressed them in the following ways: "Dear L-----" (the name she gave me, which name I never knew until I was 32 and we had reunited), "My Precious Child", and "My Beloved Firstborn Child", and "Dear 'BOTZ'" - no, that's not my name, but it 'represents' the name I have used all my life, which my adoptive parents gave me, that she has 'resigned' herself to use because it's what I'm comfortable with.

I like the name she chose, but it's not how I 'know' myself, kwim? And, it's a little awkward because it's one of those male/female names and it's my natural father's name -- so it's just weird to think of being called what I call him (because that's his preference). I would like to call him "Dad" but he has told me he doesn't feel he 'deserves' it because he "didn't fight hard enough" to keep me (I don't see it that way) so he can't "claim" to be my Dad. But, I digress...

Your letter seems as foreign to my reality as a fairy tale. That's just my opinion. Take it or leave it.

Good luck!

There was ONE thing in your letter that 'rang true' for me, because my mother has said the same thing to me. She said, "I have never forgiven myself."

I hope someday she will.

Mary G

You really don't get it, Magic Pointe Shoe and I agree. This letter makes me want to scream and vomit all at the same time. (Mostly because I remember writing something like this at the prompting of the caseworker I had, she was not such a nice person either) It reminds me of all the typical brainwashing coercive tactics that were used on me and countless other mothers.

Why would you use this subject for creative writing?

anastasia beaverhausen-the real1

one does not "give away" people they "loved so much". that's a huge misconception.

Mei-Ling

Your letter overall sounds very nice, albeit "haunted." Your descriptions of remembering what your child looks like are very... sad and sorrowful. Beautiful, but mixed in with strong sorrow.

It would have been so wonderful to receive something like that from my mother as I was growing up; at least (as a CHILD) I would have had evident proof that she really cared about me.

There's just one thing.

"I loved you, loved you more than I ever knew was possible, but you have to understand that it was because I loved you that I gave you away."

A child will never understand "I loved you so much I gave you away."

It tends to imply THIS: "My mother loved me but apparently just not enough since she gave me away anyway."

Do you honestly think your child will read that and not be confused at all? I mean, how could any mother write that and expect a child to understand that? A child learns to equate "love" with "being given away"... which, in the end, implies the message that they weren't really loved *enough* to begin with.

Your letter is beautiful in everything else that it says, but it is still written from the mind of an adult and a child will most likely fail to *emotionally* perceive it.

very proud mummy :)

Hi i have just read your letter and i imagined my self to be you daughter reading it and there's a niggling feeling and thought that's going though me and it was why? why did you give me up.why was it the right thing to give me away

maybe you could explain it somewhere in your letter

clairchristine

I don't have any experience on adoption so don't really have any right to be answering this but had a read at ur letter and other peoples responses and i do agree with some of them.
While the things in ur letter are beautiful they are a bit too perfect and poetic.
Human emotion is neither, its raw and cutting.
Tbh i think u could only write a convincing letter on this subject if u had been in the situation to know how it felt for u as it would be a very personal experience.
U seem like a good writer but might be better writing about things/experiences u have been thru urself as then u would come accross more genuine xx

eyeque46203

Ok, I'm gonna write a little of what I would write my daughter. Maybe this will help you a little bit as far as wording and putting a little more feeling and emotion in it. I'm a first mother by the way....

My darling,

The day you were born was the happiest and saddest day of my life. It was the happiest because as I held you I realized how perfect you were. I counted all your toes, you fingers, and looked into those beautiful blue eyes and thanked God that you were born healthy. You were the most beautiful thing I had ever seen and nothing I have seen since compares. I took my time memorizing every line of your face, the curve of your cheeks, and the color of your hair. The thought that God had blessed me with this perfect, beautiful little angel filled me with gratitude and awe. I couldn't believe that I was the one God had chosen to be your first mother. I tried to imagine all of the wonderful things you would do and the future that was in store for you.
But with all of my happiness came a sadness too. I knew in my heart that for you to fulfill all of the potential that God has instilled in you, I was going to have to step aside. Even though God had chosen me to be your first mother, I knew that I didn't have what you needed. I knew that I was not the mother you deserved. I knew that I couldn't provide you with the things that you would need. I knew in my heart that I wasn't at a place where I could support you in the many ways that you needed. My heart ached because I knew that this meant that you and I would be separated so that you could have all of the things that I couldn't give you, the things that you deserved. I can't tell you how sorry I am that I was not ready yet. I can't tell you how much of a failure I feel like, that I couldn't be there for the one person who needed me most, you. I wanted to try, I wanted to give it a shot. But I knew that you were much to important and precious for me to "experiment" on parenting wise, you deserved my best and at that point in my life I couldn't give it to you.
Your parents, the people I chose for you, are some of the nicest people I have ever met. I hope that you are kind to them, respectful of them, and show them that every day. They opened their hearts to you my love, and they deserve everything you can give them in that way. They are your parents, never forget that, they love you just as much as I do, and in some ways I'm sure even more. They've been there with you every step of the way, watching you grow into the amazing woman that you are now and they have helped to shape you. Respect that, honor that, always.
My angel, please never doubt how much I love you, never doubt that my heart aches to hold you and tell you how much you touch my life everyday. Please know that I have thought about you every day and that just because I wasn't standing next to you doesn't mean that I wasn't with you every step of the way too.

I don't know how I would sign it. I've always been conflicted with that. Friend, your first mother, I don't know really, nothing ever feels like it would fit quite right. I know that since I wrote this it gives you ample opportunity to plagarize it, I hope you don't. But at the very least maybe you have a better idea of what one of would write.

Lydia,Elsi & Aidyns Mommy

its really going well BUT

''But as you looked up at me with your deep brown eyes, so innocent and trusting''

untrue, babys hardly ever open their eyes straight after birth lol and they certainly cant fully see you after brith.. their eyes are still developing and gettting used to the light at the end of the tunnel x

Enter Your Message or Comment

User Name:
User Email:
Post a comment: