For First Mothers: Would this have effected your decision?
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For First Mothers: Would this have effected your decision?
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This question is directed at First Mothers who "voluntarily relinquished" infants. (I put quotation marks because these are not the words many would use for the process.)
We see lots of questions on this board about breastfeeding adopted children. I want to know if it would have effected your decision if you knew that the Adoptive Mother planned to breastfeed your child.
Would you approve?
Would it effect your decision to relinquish?
For those who did pre-birth matches, would it have effected your choice of Adoptive Parents?
There are some people who are unaware that this is even possible. Do you feel that this is information that should required to be disclosed to Expectant Mothers who are considering adoption?
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Kate P
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YUCK!!! I would not want my child to be breast fed by someone else. That to me is just gross and wrong! Why cant the person bottle feed formula?! These days the two are about the same. Breastmilk isnt always better for the child. YUCK!!! That just to me is wrong! I also feel that this should be discussed during the adoption and both families should have to agree about what to feed the baby! |
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magic pointe shoes
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I don't know. I was such a naive twit back then, how easily replaceable I thought I was, I could see myself being okay with adoptive breastfeeding back then. Even a few years ago, when I started having more children and becoming a breastfeeding advocate, I could still see myself being okay with it. But now that I see the complicated emotional impact of adoptive breastfeeding, I don't think knowing what I know now that I would be so easily okay with the idea. It's much more of a complicated ideas than just simple cut and dry breastmilk straight from the tap is best thing. |
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Lori A
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Like Magic Point Shoes I would have accepted anything they told me as acceptable. I was pretty gullible back then. Besides my reasoning's were different than most. It would have been small potatoes compared to my main objective. |
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opedial
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Eww, I had not heard of this before. As an adopive parent (sorry I know you were talking to First mothers), but as an adoptive parent I say ewwww, I would never have considered something like that. (although I adopted older kids...even if they were younger...ewwww) |
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Jenny
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although my parents made the decision to relinquish my son since i was 15( i didnt know i had any rights) I think it's totally disgusting ,unnatural and just plain sick (mental problems maybe). I would have definitely have hoped it would affect my parents decision as it would have mine. |
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Misty L
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i never had the chance to see the baby. i didn't want to. it sounds mean or selfish but i didn't want to put a face on the baby i was giving up. if they told me i could breastfeed the baby, i wouldn't it would made the process a whole lot harder on me. |
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littleJaina
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What possible difference could it make? If an "ewww" factor can change your decision about adoption, you should never have been placing your child in the first place!
However, maybe we should tell people. If they are freaked out at the thought of another woman breast feeding their chid, then they are obviously not ready for that person to be the mother of the child. |
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John V
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you can also pump and donate your own breastmilk. |
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Not Adopted
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Yes, it should be disclosed.
Yes, I would have been horrified by the thought of this. But I did not make the decision, it was made for me.
I wonder what kind of issues babies who have been subjected to this are going to have later in life. |
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dontknow86
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I had to give my 1st born up, I would be glad the new mom could give her the best. So I would say go for it. |
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jommysmomct
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I had no idea that was even possible, but i guess it is because they can give you meds to make you lactate....if i were giving my child up for adoption (which i never would...i have two)...I would want them to have the best care, and breastfeeding would be the best for the baby. As long as the adoptive mother was healthy, then I wouldn't have a problem with it and no, it wouldn't affect my decision. |
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