For a middle class family, is it really possible to adopt?

trying2behelpful

It is not impossible at all for a middle class family to adopt even if you don't want to go through foster care. You just need to look into the cost of the agency that you will be going through beforehand. The costs vary greatly, which really doesn't make much sense, but it is true. You could either save up and wait until you have the money or take out a loan. One person suggested selling things to make money. That is a great idea! You could also have a raffle or have a yard sale and have all of your family, friends, and neighbors contribute items. Then advertise that it is for your adoption costs and people will be apt to give more. Also, you could have a bake sale, etc. Be creative!

You could also take out a loan. You get a tax credit, but you do have to be aware that this money will only come back to you if you have paid that much in. For example, if you only owe $2,000 in taxes, you will only get $2,000 back for that year. There are a lot of rules to that law so you will need to see your accountant for all the details. I believe you have 2 years after the adoption is finalized to get the adoption credit, but like I said, check with your accountant.

It is NOT impossible. Adoption is not just for the upper class. Of course, you have to be able to afford to clothe and put a roof over your child's head, but you don't have to be rich to have a child.

Also, there are a lot of children in foster care, but that route is not for everyone. We are middle class and we adopted through an agency. Everything ends up falling into place when you are working towards a goal. Good luck to you and your husband!

Ichimaru_Gin

You can adopt as long as you look financially responsible and with your criminal record super clean to the point where you basically have no criminal record. It is also a huge commitment. You should get information about adoption first before you decide on actually adopting. Also, remember that the change will be psychological for the kid too, so you have to look like a very comfortatble change.

Randy B

My income is a bit higher then yours but its in Canadian dollars so it's not far off. I work, my wife is a stay at home mom.

We have so far adopted twice, once internationally 15 years ago (an 8 month old) and once domestically just this past summer (she was 4 days old when she came to us). We are expecting another call for a third adoption within the next month or so once our youngest daughter turns 9 months old. Our first one cost us $800 US and the second was 100% free through foster care.

There are ways to do it without having to mortgage your future. Check out your State foster care adoption programs. See if you have a foster to adopt program as in most cases there are a wide range of ages available. It only gets expensive if you want to go through an agency and are only willing to consider blond haired blue eyed babies. There are plenty of other wonderful children out there in need of loving homes.

Good luck and drop me an email through my profile if you have any other questions.

PhilM

Children adopted as infants can come with emotional, mental, and physical problems and disabilities, as well, some of them caused by the adoption itself.

Biological children can also come with such problems.

Here is some reading for you to do as you think about whether to adopt:

* "Being Adopted: The Lifelong Search for Self" by Brodzinsky, Schecter, and Henig

* "Journey of the Adopted Self" by Betty Jean Lifton

* "The Primal Wound" by Nancy Verrier

ETA: Mei-Ling, if what you believe were true, then as soon as people completed their homestudies, they would have children placed. But that simply isn't the case.

Heather B

'Scuse me for pointing this out but I see a contradiction in what you say here. On the one hand you state ". . . when there are many children that need loving homes . . "

Then on the other hand you state you can't take on a child that needs a loving home.

The children really needing loving homes are right there, don't cost the earth to adopt but your claiming to want to give a child a home. Scratching head.

Babies cost a fortune because it costs the agencies alot of money in marketing and advertising to convince a woman to hand over her offspring for their their waiting customers - these are not usually babies in need of loving homes but the babies of mothers who just need a little help that isn't forthcoming.

If there were "so many" babies "needing loving homes" there wouldn't be such a long waiting list or such a high price tag due to huge demand and lack of supply.

Please reconsider giving a home to a child who really needs one; rather than helping to perpetuate an unethical infant adoption system.

ETA: Oh really ML - there are just healthy infants piled high waiting to be adopted then; where? I'm sure there are at least 50 potential adopters waiting for 1 available infant.

Just a Mom

Do you think that only foster children come with baggage? Ask the adoptees here.

Gaia Raain

Before you start the process, here are some books that, as a prospective adoptive parent myself, I consider to be essential reading:

Twenty things adopted kids wish their adoptive parents knew
The primal wound
Helping children cope with separation and loss

Remember, even if you adopt at birth, that child grew inside of his mother, and knows his mother intimately - he knows her voice, her moods, her smell. He WILL know that another person is not his mother, and he will have to deal with the trauma of that separation.

Cody J

Well it really isn't cheap, but it may be cheaper than paying for hospital proceedures to try and have a biological child. With a combined income of 50K I believe it's possible, but you'll need to come up with a finacnial plan in order to really save money by not buying anything that is unnecessary, and really save.

Sofiakat

Whether you give birth or adopt a new born you may have a child with "emotional, mental, physical problems and disabilities." There is no perfect child.
I would advise you to look into adopting children that are in care, but first do a great deal of research on adoption, whether from care or not.
The idea of adopting a child with a "blank slate" either emotionally or physically, is a fantasy. Work on the realities first, and then look into adopting.
Good luck on your journey.

Santa's Lil' Helper

Please do not ever take equity from your home to finance an adoption.
Many agencies will suggest this and not care what happens in the long run. I will not sugar coat this. It will be very difficult to adopt a newborn, if that is what your interested in, through an agency or private adoption when your combined income is only $50,000 Your only choice is through foster care.

If you feel that the challenges of adoption an older foster child are too great than by all means do not! Its easy to get caught up in the process but remember they do not need your sympathy they need unconditional love.

I know this is not what you want to hear : Adoption is not affordable for the middle class....nothing is affordable for the middle class.

Marie

Check out this website http://www.botsland.com/index.html for information regarding adopting while in the service. And definatly ask around I'm sure you will see that there are others either in your situation or were and they will have the answers you are looking for.

I do know that there is assistance available to military families. My sister was active Army and is now in the National Guard. She knows several families that were able to adopt with assistance.

Brianna

First, realize that many infants come with emotional, mental and physical problems and disabilities. To get a healthy baby is nearly impossible. Healthy babies also die of SIDS as well. There's no guarantees here.

Even if you had a biological baby, it could still come out with a disability or problems you didn't think could happen. Happens several times a day in this world. Babies born with disabilities to healthy parents.

If you really want to help children in this world, you'd consider adopting a child that is a bit older instead of just an infant like so many want. A 6 year old is easy to bring back around with enough help. Love, care and the right kind of discipline can make any problem child into a great child to be around.

Adoption can be expensive. State adoptions are cheaper than private ones. You can also try to get involved with private organizations through churchs to help pair up a parent with a child.

Most children by age 3 or older, have been up for adoption for one to three years by that age. There's no chance the bio parents can come back to take the child. A birth mother has one year to change her mind after giving up her child. She can fight you for custody back, and the birth mothers rarely lose. You won't take that risk at adopting a child that's already been in foster care for a year or more.

Amanda

Ya know I think it's funny how they "charge" to adopt a child when there are so many children out there without homes. I was reading the above answer, those prices are absolutely ridiculous. Isn't there a law to where you cant "buy" a child?? Ugh I don't get it, but I wish you and your husband the best of luck with everything! I hope you guys get a child very soon!!

youloveblondes

I am in the same position as far as the adoption part. We are adopting and I know how you feel going through all of this.
Adoption is very costly and it seems if you can't save the money to adopt the only other way is a loan. But you have an awesome point about going in debt I think the same way so we've saved up 20k for adption we're just waiting now! We were too not ready to take on a foster child since we don't even have a child of our own, this will be our first baby.
I had to have my fallopian tubes removed at only 26, i've been married 6 years to my husband and we're happy without kids but we'd be a little more happy if we get chosen to adopt. As long as we have eachother we're always going to be okay.

If you want a child instead of an infant, the wait time is short and it is not very costly, at least in my state. Of course, that's domestic adoption. You might not want to go into international adoption because it can cost between $8,000-$60,000 for a small child, and you can almost never get infants. Not to mention the almost-universal requirement of travel.

Brad V

It can be crazy expensive. You would probably have to go into debt with a combined income of $50000... Some stats I just read:
Avg. cost of U.S. Infant adoption: $15000-$20000
Avg. cost of International Infant adoption: 20,000 to $40,000

Foster care adoption prices are low. Check out my source.

Mei-Ling

I actually disagree with Heather B for once.

"If there were "so many" babies "needing loving homes" there wouldn't be such a long waiting list or such a high price tag due to huge demand and lack of supply."

No, the reason that there is such a long waiting list is because of screening and homestudies for prospective parents.

Part of it DOES have to do with supply and demand but I highly doubt that's the real reason for long queue and match-ups.

David D.

My parents were in a similar situation. They'd already had me but couldn't have any more children so they wanted to adopt. Like you, they were middle-class. It is possible depending on which agency you go through. I'm assuming that you think the problem is the initial payments needed to get the adoption official versus the cost of childcare? Assuming that you can afford the childcare, based on your statements that you were trying to have children on your own, then it is still very possible to adopt. There are scholarships available through various organizations that are sometimes dependent on children. The company that my parents used went through Ethiopia and had scholarships available that enabled them to not go into debt and therefore they were able to successfully raise all of their children. Side note: I am Caucasion, and ethnicity hasn't played a role in my family, just in case that would be a situation you may face. But check out the available options, definitely! If you truly want to help raise a child in a loving home then I'm sure you'll find a way!

Edit: It also depends if you need to adopt an infant. My sister was 3! Think of it this way - you skip the terrible 2s and you provide a loving home to a child who is not "wanted" by the typical "i need to adopt a baby" parents.

Bandit

I believe you need to find a better source to get your answers. But I would like to point out that if you are able, you can become a foster parent. Not only would the program help offset the costs, it would provide a much needed home for a child. Also it would prove that you are capable parents and can raise a child so that hurdle would be crossed before you decide to adopt. Perhaps you can do God's work by helping several children rather than just one or two. It would be a blessed undertaking in my opinion.
Good luck.

jamie

Of course it is possible.
My aunt is middle class and she adopted
a beautiful baby girl.
As long as you can take care and
attend to his or her every need
And prove it to the adoption agencies
You will be able to adopt.

I wish you and your husband all the best(:

Carnie C

yes, it's possible to adopt.

look into the Navy's benefits and see if they have grant and assistance available. my last boyfriend before Timmy was a naval reservist and it seems to me (as i clear the cobwebs) that the navy did have adoption benefits available.

you will be taxed on any employer adoption benefits provided -- keep that in mind.

I was adopted from Dept Children & Family Services (DCFS) and even though i was somewhat 'prematched' (my parents requested a "special blend" and my bparents wanted me to go to someone with similar racial make up), and not a foster child, i'm sure it wasn't that much. However, there are some numbers that always stick in the back of my mind that made me wonder just how much.

best route to take -- contact your local DCFS and take it from there. Take advantage of any benefits your employer(s) may have as well as the tax credit to help offset your adoption fees.

Damocles

Yes. Adoption is very expensive, but there are many organizations that offer grants and loans. If you live in Nebraska, you're really in luck because the Nebraska Children's Home Society http://www.nchs.org/ is the only adoption agency in the country that does not charge fees (they operate totally on donations). They do, however, only operate in Nebraska.

America World Adoption http://www.awaa.org/home/default.aspx has informational meetings where they pass out hand-outs with information about various places where you can get funding to assist you. Having said that, overseas adoption is the most expensive (though not by much).

Certain countries cost more to adopt from than others. Russia tends to be fairly expensive, Haiti, relatively inexpensive. I'm sure if you look hard enough, you will find something you can afford.

Don't forget too that perhaps you can do a bit of fundraising to assist you. If you attend a church, they may be willing to help you.

Lastly, if you would be interested in an older child, sometimes your state's foster care system has children who are eligable to be adopted. If the foster care system knows your goal is utlimately to find some children you can adopt, they may place with you children whom that's likely to become an option for.

I'll include some links in the sources below, where you can find more information and perhaps some funding...

By the way, you can write off up to $10,000 on your taxes for legitimate adoption expenses. I stress "legitimate" because, in some countries it is traditional to pay bribes to government officials to get them to sign paperwork (sad, but true) - you can't write those expenses off of your taxes. But fees for criminal background checks, fees by the adoption agency, etc. can all be written off. Many companies also offer adoption assitance for their employees.

Edit: Amanda - I know it seems to you like someone is "buying a child", but that really isn't the case here. Women who place their child for adoption typically don't have the financial means to care for them, which means they also don't tend to have health insurance - somebody has to pay the hospital bills, etc. According to NCHS, it costs them on average a little over $23,000 per child in expenses (hospital, legal fees, salaries of their staff who work with the birth mothers and adoptive parents, sometimes they need to supply the mother with food and healthcare to keep her healthy while she is pregnant, etc.). Again, NCHS operates by donations, but most adoption agencies are not lucky enough to find enough generous benefactors to operate that way. Birth mom doesn't have money. The Adoptee doesn't have money. The only ones who can pay are the adoptive parents. Without these fees, there would be no adoptions, unfortunately.

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