For paparents: if the potential bmom became ill due to a pregnancy complication, and wanted to terminate...?

...would you support her?

i ask this question because i recently read an article published from data from the hyperemesis education and research foundation, which stated that quite a few women chose to end their pregnancies due to severe nausea and vomiting. i wonder, if a pre-matched pregnant woman developed hyperememis gravidarium, pre-ecclampsia or another debilitating condition, would the paps support her decision to terminate the pregnancy?

this is not a "pro-life/pro-choice" debate. this is concerning "therapeutic abortion" (or the "health of the mother" argument), which falls beyond the realm of elective termination.
Additional Details
hi all...

i think everyone has some great responses to this, however, i'd like to redirect folks to the question:

this is not about whether a woman should or should not terminate a pregnancy due to a pregnancy-related complication; yet it speaks to potential adoptive parents who might be faced with the woman they are expecting to adopt a baby from, choosing to terminate due to her own health.

also, i am neither considering terminating my pregnancy, nor placing for adoption. this is a general question for debate, not referring to me.

BPD Wife

Great question! I am 100% supportive of a mother's health. If a mother's health is at risk by being pregnant, then yes, terminating a pregancy is in HER best interest. It is HER body.

I would hope that most adoptive parents would feel the same way. A child is a wonderful blessing to everyone, but not at the cost of a bio-mom's health or life.

amused and confused

I am an adoptive parent and I agree with BPD wife. The birth mother's health is first.

Erin L

Isn't it pretty rare for a woman to be matched with potential adoptive parents that early in pregnancy? I think most matches take place later in pregnancy beyond the abortion window. Anyway, to answer your question, I certainly don't believe a woman has any obligation to jeapordize their own health, nor would I expect them to, so while I would certainly be disappointed at the loss of the baby, I'd understand.

kny390

Let me pose a real life question to you. A lady I know became pregnant. During the early stages (first trimester) it was determined that there was a good chance that she would not live if she carried the fetus to term. There was also a possibility that she would make it through. She would have left three children without a mother and a man without his wife. Would you support her?

Cam

I would support the bmom. It's her baby, her body, and her decision.

pookiesmom

I believe a pap should be supportive of the bm no matter what. They go into this process knowing a million different things can go wrong and this being one of them. They should face it being her decision and move on to other situations.

spmmy2003

As an adoptive father I agree with bpd wife. It is the mothers health that is more important.

mary_magdalan

this was a real situation for my mother.Her Pregnancy with my younger brother could have killed her.She lost half of her body's blood supply and hemorged regurally.She was bed ridden for 3 months of the pregnancy and the other 3 she had to be sent to a hospital that specialized in high risk pregnancies.If she became unstable it was the doctors plan to terminate her pregnancy. My father was completely supportive;I mean if your wife/girlfriend is going to die from the pregnancy its like an easy choice!

I dont believe "severe nausea and vomiting" is grounds for abortion though.Of course your going to be VERY uncomfortable during your pregnancy but termination only takes place if your life is threated or if you are at risk for permant damage from the pregnancy.
Okay I hope this helped

loquitaamericana

I don't know bout the terminating due to severe nausea and vomiting. But my sister Had 4 children at the time she found out the one she was carrying would have downs syndrom. She decided to terminate because she felt she would not be able to give her existing children or the unborn one the attention that they all deserve. I don't agree with abortion, but I supported her decision.

sweet_thing_kay04

Alot of pro-life are nutty.It doesn't matter if the baby coming out looking like a alien. They say u should have it.I say it should be left up to the mother and u should always support your family.

kasp1ant

I was severly sich both times I was pregnet for all 9 montheds of the preganetcies. My first child, they thought that I would go into " Spontanious-Abortion". Meaning, that my own body may reject the pregancy. But I made it through both of them! It's not that I am pro-life but I am also not por-choice either. I feel that if there is something the Dr.s can do then let them do it. Other wise then if the mother still will not survive haveing the baby then it is then a choise that the parents will have to make for thier selfs as to what they should do about the pregancy. I can be a hard choice to make. But to just abort the baby just because they are feeling sick all the time is not a good reason in my book to abort the baby. I hope that this helps you in some small way!! Good luck!

Tmarie99

Anyone who would expect a woman to risk her life is not someone who deserves to be a parent.
If a woman is told that she has a very high probability of dying if she continues the pregnancy, and the p.a.p.s want her to continue, she should rethink her choice. What kind of people would want someone to die for their benefit?

in COGNITO *

Having suffered from a pregnancy that I had to terminate due to it being a partial molar pregnancy, I would have to support her. I personaly don't believe a match should be made that early,
When I was pregnant with my daughter I had hyper-emisis and many other complications. I spent many weeks in the hospital and had her 5 weeks early. It was SOOO hard and nothing I think some should be forced to endure. FOr me I was willing to risk my life for my daughter, but it was my choice. IT was suggested that I terminate with her too, but i didnt.

whatever

I believe those types of decisions are between the pregnant mom, doctors, and her family. I, as a future AP, would want nothing to do with that type of decision. Whatever she decided to do I would support.

BTW, most moms don't terminate because of pre-eclampsia....they deliver

Crucio

For one I also think it would be rare if the birthmother already had the adoptive parents picked out so early in her pregnancy. I agree with Erin most are picked beyond the window when an abortion is an option. If the mother had some health issues in which case she would likley d die then yes I can understand getting an abortion. As I have said in other threads then she needs to get her tubes tied so that she wouldnâ€™t fall pregnant again and have to abort.

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