For people who believe that adoption records should reamin sealed?

Carol c

Also using the house analogy - I'm a person who knocked on the door of the current owners of my grandparent's house in Pittsburgh. They were kind enough to give me a tour of the entire house and the back yard where her flower gardens had been. What a gift.
Actually, I didn't knock on the door - I drove by and they were outside so I thought I'd introduce myself and tell them of how much this house had meant to me. They did not question why this was important to me. Some people just have a sense of compassion and understand that life isn't just about them.

Of course it makes sense that most human beings have the intellectual and natural curiosity to want to know where they come from. There is no reason for the records to remain closed in my opinion.

â™¥ kay.

It's like having a child/family member being killed and the police won't give out any information.

Jackie B

Even if the truth is that the mother is an addict and the dad is the cheater, it's not about making an adoptee "feel better", it's wanting to know where they came from. Knowing their parents are wretched will not always result in an adoptee feeling worse about themselves. Most families have a person or two they'd rather not be related to and they probably don't allow themselves to be defined by them. Shouldn't adoptees choose if they want that person to be a part of their lives? I get that people want to protect their children, I really do. But shutting someone off from the truth is never the right thing to do.

jessica300

I'm all for having ALL the records open. Yeah!!!

Every single U.S. citizen should be able to apply for and receive their OBC.

And if all adoption records were opened, that would mean I would get to see the wording on the superfluous "pre-birth agreement" that the non-licensed adoption facilitator had me sign. And I could actually see the legal documents that I signed in a U.S. COURT OF LAW, which terminated my parental rights. And I would be able to see and have and hold my son's ORIGINAL BIRTH CERTIFICATE. I don't have the OBC but apparently it's fine if I carry the physical and psychological scars of giving birth and losing my child. What BS.

I like your analogy and think it could be expanded to include a whole lot more of the effects of adoption on the foundation of the family.

What is Acid Rain's problem?

myst1998

OMG.... someone like BR was ALLOWED near kids/youth with her attitude???

I think people generally take for granted what they automatically are entitled to. It is only when you have to fight for something that is a basic right that you realise how important this right is. People who are against adoption records being opened are those who usually don't have a clue; are afraid of what might happen to them or have an agenda to protect.

It is absolutely DISGUSTING and an abuse of monumental proportions that adoptees are denied what everyone else gets just by being born. They treat adoptees like criminals in a sense and yet what choice do babies and children have when they are being adopted? Absolutely NONE. And if there are some people worried about privacy (i.e. a very few number of nat mothers) then they should have thought of that when they handed their CHILD over to strangers to raise.

Denying a person their OBC is not just unfair, it is nasty and cruel. Wonder if those trying to prevent the opening of records would like it if we closed all THEIR records and they were never able to find out the information they need to get on with their lives.

gypsywinter

If I can extrapolate on the 'house' analogy, please. Not sure if this can be seen as an analogy to open records...but I think it can. Some years ago I bought a house that was built in 1947 and bought by the president of a local bank and his wife. To accomodate their very growing family (they had several children and grandma), the banker built an entire 2-story brick addition, a third of the size of the original. Not long after I bought this house, my husband and my son in law were in the garage and a man drove up the alley to the garage. He stopped and spoke to my husband and said how he lived in that house (banker's son) as a young boy with his sisters and he went on to say how much he loved that house and had always missed it. He also told my husband that once 2 of his sisters (now grown women) knocked on the door when the previous owners lived there (the people we bought the house from). His sisters told the previous owner how they used to live there and also how much they missed their former home. The sisters couldn't bring themselves to ask if they could just take one more look at the home they were raised in, but was hoping the owner would invite them in...the owner did not and just about slammed the door in their faces. And I do understand safety concerns as well, not knowing who these women were. The young man continued talking about his home, his family, his grandma, where everyone slept, etc. He knew this house!! And little did we know he lived across the alley from us, with his wife and children. My husband told him he was welcome in our/his home anytime. That house was built for family, I knew that the moment I walked thru the front door. He never took us up on the offer to come in....but at least he always knew the door to 'home' was open should he ever want to come in, even his sisters.

That 'house' was part of this young man's familial history, a part of his life and we did not 'slam the door shut' in his face, because of ownership and privacy rights. Yes, that was our home at that time, but at one time it was this young man's home as well. My family knows the true meaning of knowing from whence one came from and how important that is in human life..and not just for ourselves, but for everyone. I have often wished that I could have met his sisters and invited them in for coffee.

I didn't live in that house long....but it was certainly 'home'...and I still miss that house as well.

Even 'homes' have open records! called 'tax rolls'.

ETA: To AJ's Mommy...No need to add the 'snark' about our president in regards to Open Records......If you don't already know..Open Records for Adoptees is not an issue on the federal level...but a state by state issue/fight. Since you say you are for Open Records, I would surely hope you have already contacted your state legislators on this most important issue.

Independ"ant"

"Then why do some people tend to minimize the importance of a past and a personal history to a human's sense of self?"

Insecurity and as far as adoption goes.....they believe they have the right to ownership of another human being. They believe they are the only ones that matter now. Its too much for them to look at their ugly ways. Coercing teens and women in financial difficulty doesn't make them look like saints......to say the least.

Aps like "Blessed with Ignorance" above always point out the worst cases scenarios of parental abuse but in reality almost all of the baby and toddlers that are adopted were not.

You are absolutely right. I am 49 years old and have just requested that my adoption records be opened and sent to me. It is totally up to the judge if he will do this or not. I am waiting and hoping that I will be given all the information. People have the right to know, at least after they have become an adult. Maybe birth parents aren't interested in meeting their children but the children have rights to know their roots. Medical history is hugely important, siblings also.

Sue M

I was adopted at 6 years old.After I had my children we needed medical records. Knowing my former name and parents name they gave me some medical records which I needed a great deal.But the research went no farther. I loved my adopted parents and due to my respect and appreciation for what they did for me I had no desire to see my original parents. How ever I did find my brother and two sisters and we are really doing fine and love each other very much.

Sophie

I am for open records for all adoptees. I wonder what letters to the President, who is for "transparency" in everything, would do to gain attention from him. Would he be able to help out? He seems to want to make history.

It's a new era and he is all for civil rights.

DeDe G

i gave my baby to adoption and wanted it to be closed because i wanted to be at peace about it. i gave all the details about the details when i did and gave a letter to say more but to also say to be at peace yourself with the parents who love you. i would have had an abortion if i could not have closed adoption because of getting found later. for me this is fine my mom and dad died when i was little and i accept the life i have had. my baby will get pictures the way i did and will be fine like i am because that is life.

Jim G

You can buy an old house, remove it from its foundation, and build a new house on the old foundation; or you can start with a completely new foundation.
Consider not just the possibility of 'family reunion', but of suddenly having a street-person knock on your front door and announce that he / she was your son / daughter. Consider the possibility of a street-person announce she was your mother. In either case, you are told you must now welcome them into your already established family.
It would be more than just a little devastating.
Sure, it might be nice to discover that either my birth-mother or my birth-father was extremely rich and that I was 'entitled' to part of their great fortune. I would be similarly unhappy to have someone ring my door-bell and request to be cared for because adult children are expected to do so.
Yes, I am fortunate. I am healthy; I have 2 healthy children and 2 healthy grandchildren. There is no need to open my adoption papers.

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